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Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).
I am sorry to know about these anger problems.
Could you please tell me more about these problems? Is this about your lack of anger control, or about other person in your life having these these problems and you not knowing how to cope with them?
Its me & I do not know how to cope up with this problem
I am sorry I was not able to reply before because of a technical problem with your question, but now it is fine.
Could you please tell em more about this anger problem, how it has been affecting your life and relationships? For how long has it been this way and any other thing important for me to better understand your situation?
It came to a point that it affects my relationship with my in family particularly my husband & in laws. It's been8 years now
How did this problem start, are you aware of what led to it?
Anger is nor a primary feeling , but one that arises whenever we do not know how to cope with other negative core feelings like sadness, frustration, fear and loneliness.
I think it started when I discovered my husband have affairs with other woman
I wonder which have been these life issues or situation from where you have felt this overwhelmed, leading you to develop this anger problem.
I see. I am sorry, that's terrible
what can you suggest so i could cope up with this problem?
Then that could easily explain why you have felt this overwhelmed, I'd say sadness, frustration and hopelessness from feeling betrayed could be very overwhelming and easily lead t develop anger control problems if unresolved.
AS I said before anger is not the core issue here, it is just the way your body and mind are telling you how painful it has been for you to undergo this specific situation and the impact it has had in your life, and that unless you resolve such issue, it would remain there pushing you to do something about it.
Did each of you happened to get professional psychotherapy or counseling support to work on your rehabilitation process, and was he able to apologize, be totally honest and accountable about it and made real changes showing he truly was sorry for his actions and willing to deserve back your trust and affection?
we both have not seek professional help yet. He never admitted his infidelity
I see. I am sorry to know it has been this way, then I could say that it is unrealistic to expect you to be able to eradicate this anger problem, once the core issues behind it are still there, fresh and unresolved. You are literally in deep conflict, grieving because of the betrayal and now knowing how to heal and move on since there has been no resolution at all.
Can you see how it makes sense what I said about your anger problem?
Oh , I see. Thanks so much for this information.
You need to work on it through individual psychotherapy and with marriage counseling or therapy support. I think you are depressed and anxious because of what happened, very wounded and have been expressing these painful feelings of sadness, loneliness, hopelessness and grief through anger, and unless you address this issue and work on rehabilitating from it as an individual and as a couple, the anger problem would remain and get worse.
You're very welcome