Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).
I can see why you feel this concerned.
Is this the first boyfriend your daughter has?
It's obvious this big change coudl become a real challenge for most children int heir shoes.
Happily as you described it, they seem to have adjusted pretty well to all these changes
This is her second boyfriend. The other one they just texted and were only together a week and broke up. It was just like flirting I think. My daughter is a tomboy and as a young child loved hanging with the boys.
As you said, it seems they are already going too fast too soon, and even when he seems to be very competent nd responsible person at all these areas, that does not necessarily mean his value and belief system and ways of developing relationships being this young are the healthiest ones.
She makes friends easier with the boys because they are less drama.
I believe taking things one step at a time is necessary here. How good has been her sexual education?
should I keep her from him and just once in a while let him come over with lots of their friends? What to do?
She had watched a sex education movie in 6th grade and I had the dreaded talk with her. I will be again soon. I don't plan on letting them be alone anywhere.
I think the best approach needs to be consistent with your/her value and belief systems, adjusting her behavior to them, while at the same time allowing them to build a healthy relationship, and in this case adult presence could be the best approach instead of not allowing them to share and know each other ebtter
Her twin sister is nowhere near this situation. Very different kids.
Sexual education should be an ongoing process, she is already old enough to have the need to understand well about this area of life in order to take good care of herself and of her relationships, again, in consistency with her value and belief systems.
I see and believe you, each person -child is unique and for sure this boy is not passive at all, that's why clear and healthy boundaries must be set right away for him to know which are the rules if he truly wants to build a good and acceptable relationship with her.
You would know from his actions rather than from his words if he is truly this mature, respectful, accountable and caring or not. Open and honest, friendly and supportive communication with your daughter is very important for sure.
For her to trust you and get your support when having doubts, questions and need help about anything, feeling understood and respected, not judged nor repressed. Become closer friends.
You're very welcome. This is tough situation, but part of life and it could be very beneficial not only for her, but also for your relationship and for her sister's development and learning experiences.
Thank you for your trust. Please feel free to contact me if you have any further questions and to follow up, since I am here willing to support you.
her sister was horrified when they kissed. Just developing differently. She knew it was not right that's why. I just hope this boy really likes my daughter and is not using her for experimenting and she falls for it.
that's why you need to play the healthiest and friendliest possible role here as a wise and supportive parent, literally guiding her about relationships, dating and how to take good care of herself and cope wt challenges dating presents, even more at this age when no previous experience is there.