How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Dr. Z Your Own Question

Dr. Z
Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 6054
Experience:  Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
74815544
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
Dr. Z is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

Anxious & Peru

Resolved Question:

Anxious & Peru
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.

Dr. Z :

Hello again, whats new?

Customer:

Hi thanks for taking my request.. so yesterday she txt me it was later like around 8

Dr. Z :

Well that is good that she texted you

Customer:

and she told me she has just woken up.. that she still had the hedache and it was worst

Customer:

so I asked can I come over and spend the nite she say.. spend the nite no, I hv a hedache and I don't want to make it worse w u staying the night , up to u if you want to come by

Customer:

so I asked "How so me making it worse?"

Customer:

she say because I will want to be intimate and us argue, that she was moody because of the hedache and dint want to make me mad,

Customer:

so I say my intentions are not to get intimate or to argue, but to be with you, I understand you don't feel good babe. you need anything.?

Dr. Z :

And how did she respond when you said that?

Customer:

seem like no big deal.. her txt reads " soup maybe plz"

Customer:

so I got her soup and we talk and chill for a bit, I she held my hand while watching tv and I left, gave her a kiss gnight and left

Customer:

later I txt gnight and she say g night I love u so I say I love u 2

Customer:

I say I miss you and she say miss you too (on txt) she satring back with calling me honey

Dr. Z :

So sometimes she is irritable and jumps to conclusions which causes you to feel bad, but you show her that you are not the same guy and that you are making an effort to be more supportive for her, which is good and she also makes an effort by holding your hand saying she loves you

Customer:

so today we txt .. she just takes a long ass time to answer back.. and she ask if I can watch the dogs I say yes..

Customer:

she never show up and I called her no answer.. so she text she was running late and did not had time to drop the dogs off and she left to wrok..

Customer:

My mind has been triggering .. is she working? I send her a msg "hows work" no answer

Customer:

I wanted to go and check to see if her car is there, but I came back,, I was at the movies trying to get sm distraction but my mind triggers ..is she really at wrk?

Dr. Z :

I understand that you think that, but you should be very proud of yourself that you did not let those negative thoughts take control and actually drive over there to check on her, this is a positive step for you

Customer:

thanks .. hard man..

Customer:

My mind stared racing with ideas.. "what if"

Customer:

I think I like her more when she is going to be on her days man lol she seems better

Customer:

haha

Dr. Z :

Well I definitely think her irritability will be less when she goes back to days. I know that it is hard, but you have to focus on the progress and the steps you have been making, which are very positive so far. You did not give into the "What If" and this very encouraging for you and shows you are committed to change and let this anxiety/insecurity take ahold of you

Customer:

I see..
like I want to go, but I rather go to sleep now. I see my new psic tomorrow early... he want me to write down my problems and stuff

Dr. Z :

That is a standard procedure to write down issues and goals for first meeting with a psychologist/therapist

Customer:

I like that she takes the initiative to say "I love u " without me saying it first, does that make sense?

Dr. Z :

I know that you want to go there right now, but do not give in to that negative thought

Dr. Z :

Yes it does, it is good to see that she is taking the initiative and shows that she means it more when she says it first and not a generic response when you say it

Dr. Z :

Every couple likes when there is a mix of initiative with saying "I love you," so what you are feeling is natural

Customer:

I see..
today was kind of vauge when we txt .. she told me she was getting things ready so I ask "Things" and then she asked me to watch the dogs.. that why I was... ??? confused.. and my mind stared racing.. now I did ask "hows work" and she has not responded, so my mind is thinking, if I go and shes not there.. I confront her and she is going to say why I went to check on her, she never told me or answer me that she in deed was "at work" do you follo?

Dr. Z :

I understand what you are saying, but even if her car is at work you can rationalize that maybe she left in another car, you see it will never end. Besides she has stated she has been busy at work and maybe that is why she has not responded to your text, and she has not answered your texts while at work for a long period of time before too.

Customer:

yeah.. I tought abput that.. but I don't think she will leave her car there honestly.. the other part I can see

Dr. Z :

I know, but they you can just rationalize that maybe she just got back, with negative thoughts it will just compound and you will always look for a negative reason for a situation. Instead just admit to yourself that she cares for you and that she is just very stressed at work and does not have time to answer her text, which is the more objective thought

Customer:

oh I think I just got what u where trying to say here



"I understand what you are saying, but even if her car is at work you can rationalize that maybe she left in another car, you see it will never end"


Customer:

basically I will find another excuse to think a negative thing right?

Dr. Z :

Exactly, that is what I am saying. These are how negative thoughts work and so far you have been doing a great job stopping that thought process so keep continuing with that

Customer:

Got it I just read your previos msg, I was writing when u send it

Dr. Z :

No worries, I just wanted to emphasize it :)

Customer:

cool..
is there anything that u had notice in me that I should tell my psic tomorrow?

Customer:

obiously.. I hv trust issues and anxious

Dr. Z :

Not really, I think since we have started chatting you have gained great insight on your behaviors, trust issues, and negative thought process so I think that is what you should focus on with your new therapists

Customer:

will do.
Im going to bed, hv to be up early tomorrow.
so you think her doing those things she did last night is a good sign? seems that she thinks all I want is intimacy and arguments, I will like to change that mentality

Customer:

but I do miss the intimacy

Customer:

:)

Dr. Z :

I think she thinks this is the old you that just wants is intimacy and arguments, but I think she is noticing that you have changed recently and making an effort to be more supportive of her. I know you miss the intimacy, but hopefully when she starts working days and her headaches go away then you both can resume sexual intercourse again. I think last night was a positive sign for both of you.

Dr. Z :

I hope everything goes well tomorrow with the new therapist, let me know if you have any questions or concerns at all

Customer:

I will, and will still keep u post it sometime this week.
God bless you

Customer:

your Awesome

Dr. Z :

Good, God bless you as well :)

Dr. Z :

Thank you for the compliment, I truly appreciate it

Dr. Z :

You are doing great, keep it up :)

Customer:

:D thanks man!

Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 6054
Experience: Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
Dr. Z and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
< Last | Next >
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
  • I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well! Claudia Albuquerque, NM
  • Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion. Kevin Beaverton, OR
  • Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
    I feel better already! Thank you.
    Elanor Tracy, CA
  • Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem. Julie Lockesburg, AR
  • You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions. John and Stefanie Tucson, AZ
  • I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!! Janet V Phoenix, AZ
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/Dr.Keane/2013-8-20_204325_drkeane.64x64.jpg Dr. Keane's Avatar

    Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    5024
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC's Avatar

    Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    3733
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/DrAkiraOlsen/2012-2-20_746_AkiraADpicmain.64x64.jpg Dr. Olsen's Avatar

    Dr. Olsen

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2336
    PsyD Psychologist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/norriem/2009-5-27_134249_nm.jpg Norman M.'s Avatar

    Norman M.

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2193
    UK trained in hypnotherapy, counselling and psychotherapy and have been in private practice. ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), UKCP Registered and ECP.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/PsychologyProf/2010-07-15_171248_logos060400409.jpg Dr. Michael's Avatar

    Dr. Michael

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2177
    Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KURTEMMERLING/2010-07-23_215531_just_ask_picture1.jpg Steven Olsen's Avatar

    Steven Olsen

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1727
    More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
 
 
 
Chat Now With A Mental Health Professional
Dr. Z
Dr. Z
Psychologist
5443 Satisfied Customers
Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.