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Dr. Z
Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 10643
Experience:  Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
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So im a 23rd year old women dealing with hocd. I am in a great relationship with a great g

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So im a 23rd year old women dealing with hocd. I am in a great relationship with a great guy. I have accepted that i am gay and it has eased the anxiety. Now i feel like i want to be with a women but i dnt know why. I have always like men. I can vcept being but i dnt know if i can risk losing my bf i love him. Please help. My pscychologist says i am not gay and its all in my head. What should i do? I can eben stand a womam touching so how is it i want to be with a woman. By the way i like lesbian porn and watched it all the time and not once questioned my sexuality. This is alienating from friends and family. Now i want to be in relationships with friends that i have been friends with my entire life and never looked at thsm that way before.

Dr. Z :

Hello I believe I can help you with your concern

Dr. Z :

I am sorry that these issues have been causing you this anxiety

Dr. Z :

May I ask, for how long have you wanted to be with a woman?

Customer:

Just the last couple of weeks but ots with any girl i form an attachment even my close girlfriends

Dr. Z :

And you mentioned that your therapist does not believe that you are gay, and said that it was "all in your head." Why did your psychologist say this to you?

Customer:

Cuz of my obsessive thoughts and eventually just gave in to it and its all i think abour. I dnt wnt to be gay. Hocd

Dr. Z :

Okay I understand, well sexual orientation or sexual preference is not very simple as is not a dichotomy of simple categories like homosexuality and heterosexuality. Current research believes it is more on a continuum. For instance if you draw a straight line on a piece of paper and on one end you put homosexuality and on the other end you put heterosexuality. Now most people will never lie all the way at one end of the spectrum but they will lie somewhere on the line near one end of the spectrum. So those whose sexual orientation closely lines with heterosexuality will lie closer to that spectrum in varying degrees, but not all the way usually. Same rules applies to those on the homosexuality spectrum too. And if you are closer to the middle then you would be considered bisexual.

Dr. Z :

So I just wanted to add that information for you

Customer:

Are you there?

Dr. Z :

But you said that you do not want to be gay, but yet you accepted it and that has eased your anxiety. Is is possible you are attracted to both sexes and can be considered bisexual?

Customer:

So does this mean im bisexual?

Customer:

This just happened out of nowhere.

Dr. Z :

It is possible. Many bisexuals are attracted to both sexes, but yet feel more closely aligned to be intimate with one gender only and that seems to be the case here, but you may be curious about what it would be like to be with a woman and this is called experimenting, which is natural at your age.

Customer:

Ive been dealing with hocd since june.

Customer:

I cnt even handle a woman touching me.

Customer:

This is alot to take in overwhelmed and anxious.

Dr. Z :

I understand that is a lot for you, but you enjoy watching two women make love, it sexually arouses you, is that correct?

Customer:

I like them having sex but more for the action. Porn doesnt interest me anymore because i watched so much of it in college all day

Dr. Z :

Well that could be the extent of your attraction to females, that you just like to watch the action, but not participate. And your feelings of wanting to be with a woman may just be your curious side and wondering what it would be like, you may hate or you may like it.

Customer:

Im scared of being gay or bisexual.

Dr. Z :

At your age confusion about sexuality is very common and may take some time to resolve. And you may not be gay or bisexual, but this could just be a phase as you are curious about same gender sex.

Dr. Z :

I am leaning towards that you have more heterosexual tendencies, so I do not think that you are gay. Bisexual is a possibility though

Customer:

Ok thanks for your help.

Dr. Z :

Although I think you enjoy more watching then participating, so again I think you are more on the heterosexual spectrum of the continuum.

Dr. Z :

Anytime, I am always happy to help. Is there anything else I can assist you with?

Customer:

Ok i hope so.

Dr. Z :

I think that is the case for you and usually this will resolve shortly for you

Customer:

No thanks for all your help.

Dr. Z :

I am happy that I was able to help you today and I hope that your treatment helps you in the near future. My goal is to provide you with excellent service, so if you ever have any further questions or concerns please do not hesitate to contact me at anytime.

Customer:

Ok thanks.

Dr. Z :

You are most welcome :)

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