I had 2 best friends. Let's call them Jane and Emily. I met Jane through Emily 7 years ago and we've been friends ever since. Recently, Emily and I had a falling out. I told Emily that something she did
hurt me and she said she wanted to end the friendship and asked me to never call her again.
Emily called Jane and told her that we ended the friendship and to prepare herself for the fallout. Jane told me about that conversation. She told me that Emily said that I am a loser who cannot get her shit together. Jane said that Emily had been complaining about this to her for the last year. (I was fired a year ago and have had a hard time maintaining full time employment). Jane also told me some other ugly things that Emily said about me during that conversation.
As time went on, Jane kept telling me things that Emily had said about me over the year. I told her to stop and that I didn't want to hear anymore. She has stopped; she hasn't told me anything else Emily has said about me. Although, she does complain about Emily (most of her injured feelings regarding Emily are exactly like the ones I had; the ones I confronted Emily with). I think now that Emily and I are over, Jane is excited to talk to someone who has also experienced some of Emily's hurtful actions. I told her that I don't want to talk about Emily at all. That seems difficult for Jane. She really wants to unburdened herself to me about how hurt she is by Emily.
I don't know what to do about Jane. I feel betrayed by her actually. If it weren't for her, I wouldn't have the phrase "I'm a loser who can't get her shit together" rattling around in my head everyday. I was very very hurt by that. Heartbroken actually. Being around Jane reminds me of the fallout with Emily and Jane isn't making it easier because she constantly wants to talk about her own problems with Emily.
How should I handle this relationship? Can you give me a healthy perspective on this?