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Dr. Z
Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5211
Experience:  Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
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Im nearly 68 years old and live happily with my partner of

Resolved Question:

I'm nearly 68 years old and live happily with my partner of 25 years. We used to have a full sex life but now we make love once a month if that. I, however, think about sex all the time and would love to find someone to have sex with someone about my age or a little younger with no strings attached. I have no interest at all in younger women and I look on contact sites but they are fairly useless as most women in their 50's/60's seem to be cougars looking for a toyboy. My sexual desires are fairly normal - a loving, gentle relationship with kisses and cuddles, nothing kinky or bizarre.
Am I unusual in my desires and would it be wrong to find satisfaction elsewhere?
Submitted: 11 months ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 11 months ago.

Dr. Z :

Hello I believe I can help you with your concern

Dr. Z :

I am very sorry that you are not getting your physical needs met with your current partner.

Dr. Z :

While I definitely think that you should be getting your physical needs met, I think finding another woman to achieve this may cause more problems for you unless your partner is okay with it, then there is nothing wrong with this behavior at all.

Customer:

Is my problem unusual? I am young looking for my age, very young in outlook and my libido seems to be on the increase rather than waning.

Dr. Z :

No your problem is actually quite common actually.

Customer:

My partner is incredibly jealous and would be wearing my balls as earrings if I had an affair!!

Dr. Z :

Before trying to look for other women though it is possible that your partner's low libido can be corrected. Also some women around this age do lose their libido and sometimes sexual intercourse is uncomfortable for them. If sex is uncomfortable due to vaginal dryness there are prescription medication lubricants that can help with this. Also a low dose of testosterone can be prescribed for your partner and that can increase libido. In addition, there is a prescription anti-depressant that has been known to increase libido in women as well.

Dr. Z :

Here is a good article on this subject too for your wife.

Customer:

I am unable to talk to my partner on the subject; I have tried on many occasions but she will not discuss it.

Dr. Z :

Why will she not discuss it?

Customer:

No idea...and not for want of trying to find out

Dr. Z :

Well you can try to suggest couple's therapy and maybe she will open in that forum and if not, then you can try having an affair to have your physical needs met, but like I said earlier an affair may cause more problems for you and I am sure you have weighed the pros and cons of this approach. But it is very normal for men your age to continue to have a high sex drive while their partner's lose their sexual libido (this usually occurs to women after menopause).

Dr. Z :

I mean there are great medications out there to increase her libido with a high success rate, but if she is not willing to try them that is unfortunate.

Customer:

Many thanks for your comments; I will try again.....

Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5211
Experience: Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
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