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Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5459
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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I need advice on how to deal with a situation concerning my

Resolved Question:

I need advice on how to deal with a situation concerning my son. He has been suffering with severe depression, anxiety attacks, and is I think close to a nervous breakdown. I took him to a psychiatrist yesterday and in trying to get the attention and help he needs, he lied to him and in the same process could get me I fear into a lot of trouble. This was not his intention at all; however, I fear that will be the outcome. All of this and we walked away without having any solutions for my son. I just wanted him evaluated and his problems assessed so that the doctor could tell me what therapist had the expertise to help my son deal with his issues. Now my son seems closer to a nervous breakdown or worse suicide than ever. He can't live with the fact that he has involved me in his problems now. I need desperately need help.
Submitted: 10 months ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 10 months ago.
Hello, I'd like to help you with your problem.

Before we start, I need to know some more information.

How old is your son? And is he willing to get treatment on his own or do you feel he needs your support?

When you mentioned that your son lied to the psychiatrist, what did he tell him? And why would it get you into trouble?

Thank you,
Kate
Customer: replied 10 months ago.

My son is 23 years old, living at home, and attending a university. He is barely functioning; for instance, he has not had the energy to even get a shower in over a month. He is willing to get help but his father and I feel that he is at a point that he cannot do this without support. The psychiatrist had never seen him before and from the time the assessment started he treated my son (gave the impression this is how he treats all new patients) like he was a drug seeker. My son does not want to take anything, he wants to work with a therapist to see if he can work out his problems without any of that kind of aide. Towards the end of the visit, my son didn't feel that he was going to get the help he needs. He has a two broken teeth, which are causing him a lot of pain and is waiting to see a dentist. I'm on vicodin for numerous chronic health problems, he told the psychiatrist that he had been taking it and that I had given it to him. I have done no such thing, I counted my pills when we returned home and as far as I can tell none are missing. The doctor told him that he would have to notify our doctor. I cannot afford to have my doctor deny my this medication, especially since what my son had said is not true.

Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 10 months ago.
Thank you for the additional information.

It sounds like your son may need to see a therapist directly instead of seeing a psychiatrist. Unless there is an issue with your insurance or the place your son was seen that says he must see a psychiatrist first, your son is free to see a therapist for an evaluation without any psychiatrist involved. Any therapist with a Master's degree or Ph.D is qualified to do an evaluation for your son and tell your son what his diagnosis might be. And if they feel medications are indicated, they will recommend a psychiatrist. But if not, he should be able to receive therapy directly.

You can find a good therapist in many ways. But the key to which therapist you choose is finding one that fits your son's needs. For example, a therapist that works out for one person may not be what your son is looking for. A therapist needs to not only be a good personality fit, but also provide the type of therapy he is seeking. So talking to a few therapists over the phone or in person can help you or your son screen which one provides what he needs.

Here are ways to increase the chances he will find someone that is best suited to help him:

Ask his doctor or yours. Doctors often come across people who are depressed or anxious. Since they can only offer medication to help, they usually refer out for therapy. And patients sometimes provide feedback so a doctor may be familiar with good therapists in their area.

Screen therapists on line. Here is a site that helps:

http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/. It also helps to be familiar with the credentials of therapists. Anyone who is a Master's level and above (PhD) is required.

Experience also is needed, especially in the area you are concerned with your son. Here is a list of therapist's credentials: http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/content/therapy_credentials.html.

Contact local universities and colleges. Many of them have psychology programs and can recommend a therapist based on what you need.

Community mental health is also a good place to try. You can contact your local United Way for information about the services in your area.

Once you settle on a therapist and make an appointment, you can call ahead and let them know about your son's situation and even what happened in his appointment with the psychiatrist. You may also want to have your doctor provide you with a letter saying that you are under treatment, that the medication you are taking is approved by him/her and that what your son is telling others is not true. Although it may not be necessary to do so, it would help clarify the issues if your son would happen to try to lie about your situation again.

I hope this has helped you,
Kate

Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5459
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC and 3 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

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