I believe I can help you with your concern
I am so sorry that your son exhibited this behavior, I can understand why you are concerned
May I ask what exactly did he do?
sure, i offered that he and his 5 year old sister pick out a package of cookies to share for tonight's dessert. she picked a certain package and placed it in the cart. he then protested her choice. i then said well, you picked the cereal so that works out even. i proceeded to walk down the aisle and turned around to find hime knocking all the packages off the stand. after i let him know that he'd been caught he proceeded to deny the entire action and is still lying to me.
i am often attuned to the "fair" scale that kids work with so i try to allow for keeping things even
Oh wow, has he ever been deceitful or acted like this before that you know of?
not to my knowledge
Did he cause any monetary damage that you can estimate?
spilled cookies on the floor out of their packaging, which i was then obliged to purchase and throw away, but other than that, no.
So I think there is a dual approach that you should do, one is obviously the appropriate punishment and consequences. I think he should do small chores around the house, or extra chores, to make up the monetary cost of the damage, which as you said was minor. This will help him understand responsibility. And I think because this was a first time, being grounded for a week with no TV or video games would be appropriate.
Now the other approach is to teach your son how to express his anger and frustration in a more assertive and appropriate manner, not to act out impulsively. Here is a good technique that can help with that.
Also I think narrative therapy, which you can do, and role-playing is a good approach as well. This will help teach him about morals and to understand other's view points. Here are some examples of good books to read with him, to help him understand
Children his age respond really well to narrative therapy like this. You want to ask him questions on why a particular behavior is bad in the story and what he would do differently. Try to involve him in the story.
ok, can you think of any particular cause that occurs around this age that would have him behaving in this manner or is this just development at it's not so nicest and to be expected?
Well it was just one incident, so I would not read into it too much. Some children get a little more aggressive as they age and are not emotionally mature enough to control their impulses and frustration. Now if this becomes a pattern of behavior then it is possible that your son may fit the diagnosis of Opposotional Defiant Disorder (ODD), but I would not consider that the case at all from one incident. Here is some more information on ODD if you would like.
But right now I think this is just a normal developmental issue and most likely he will respond really well to the narrative therapy
ok, thanks. this helps.