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Ask Dr. Z Your Own Question
Dr. Z
Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 10643
Experience:  Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
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I finish to soon what can I do?

This answer was rated:

I finish to soon what can I do?

Dr. Z :

Hello

Dr. Z :

I believe I can help you with your concern

Dr. Z :

I am so sorry that you are having this issue, I can imagine how frustrating this can be for you

Dr. Z :

May I ask, do you also ejaculate too soon when you masturbate?

Customer:

so wha can I do/.

Customer:

when I feel it coming I stop

Customer:

and continue a few min later

Customer:

hello?

Dr. Z :

Okay, so you are trying to restrain yourself. So the medical term for this is called Pre-mature Ejaculation and the psychological term for this is called Male Orgasmic Disorder. I would recommend a dual approach that covers the medical and psychological issues that could be covering this.

Dr. Z :

Medical issues that can cause this are possibly Diabetes, hormonal imbalance, issues with nerve or circulation in the penile region, prostate issues, etc...Psychological issues could be performance anxiety as well. Here is a good link that can describe the physical and psychological causes of this

Dr. Z :

Now I would like to recommend an antidepressant/antianxiety medication called Wellbutrin. This has been proven to reverse the effects of premature ejaculation in men fairly quickly

Dr. Z :

Also I would recommend seeing a therapist that practices sex therapy to help provide treatment if this is a psychological issue.

Customer:

like what do you mean that practices sex?

Dr. Z :

Now if this is a medical issue like I discussed earlier and listed in the medical causes in the link I gave you, then I would recommend getting checked out by your general practitioner or a urologist. Typically you want to rule out organic/physical causes before treating the possible psychological causes of this. My way is a dual approach to combat both possible causes.

Customer:

ill check them out

Customer:

I have one more question

Dr. Z :

I mean by practice "sex therapy" is one that specializes in sexual therapy. These therapists specialize with issues like this and are the best for psychological treatment in this area

Dr. Z :

Sure ask away

Customer:

I am married and love my wife but get very fast turned on on other women even if I don't know them is this normal

Customer:

I have to go finish in the bathroom in order to get them out of my head

Dr. Z :

Being sexually aroused by other women is normal and so is masturbating to them too. Now if this is a compulsion where you do this very often and also to a point where you are not sexually aroused by your wife anymore, then that can be a problem.

Customer:

im am aroused by her toolike crazy but it bother me that I see other women

Dr. Z :

And may I ask when you get aroused by other women, do you try to initiate sex with your wife?

Customer:

sory did nt understand

Dr. Z :

When you see other women and get aroused, instead of going to the bathroom to masturbate, do you instead try to initiate sexual intercourse with your wife?

Customer:

no

Dr. Z :

Have you ever tried that strategy instead?

Customer:

what and think about them whill having sex?

Customer:

while

Dr. Z :

Okay, well try that maybe. You are still turned on by your wife and you enjoy sex. No think about her while having sex with her, but you are turned on, so if you initiate sex with your wife, this will help change your focus so that you are now thinking about your wife

Dr. Z :

Also a sex therapist can help you with this issue too, would you like me to recommend some in your area?

Customer:

but for instance last night I was hugging my wife and thinking about the lady I saw and wished shed be there so that didn't help

Customer:

yes please

Dr. Z :

Sure, what is your zip code so I can look in your area

Customer:

11219

Dr. Z :

Okay give me a few minutes to compile a list for you

Customer:

I was once told to keep looking at porn so that my body gets used to me seeing women and try not to finish is that true?

Dr. Z :

Well that is a technique to help you refrain from premature ejaculation. Also you want to masturbate until you are about to orgasm and then stop, to hold it in. But the looking at porn may be contributing to you fantasizing about other women, which is why I would not recommend it for you. Here are the list of certified sex therapists in your area

Customer:

thanks for your help

Dr. Z :

Anytime, is there anything else I can help you with?

Dr. Z :

Oh and also when you finish rating me, this chat will be sent as a link to your email, if it has not already, so you can always use it for future reference. In addition, this chat will be saved in your JA account under My Questions so you can always go back to it when you need to

Customer:

so all men get turned on on other women?

Dr. Z :

Most men will get turned on by other women and most women will get turned on by other men. And some men and women will even masturbate to this too, but usually it is infrequent. For you, I think this is more frequent and compulsive which is why I suggest seeing a sex therapist that can help you with this issue.

Dr. Z and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

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