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Ask Dr. Z Your Own Question
Dr. Z
Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 10567
Experience:  Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
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Im 14 years old and I have lots of baby dolls that I love.

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I'm 14 years old and I have lots of baby dolls that I love. When my mom gave three away without asking me, I got mad at her because she said that she tried to give them a new life by giving them away to a 1 year old. A one year old baby can obviously not properly care for other, younger babies. I really miss my babies and I want them back. It will be hard to provide them with their needs as they grow, and they are not just any babies, they are special that I has had since I was little. The babies my mom gave away are my favorite ones: the pink, the soft blue, and the very very young one that came with a bed. She should have at least asked me about giving them away, but she didn't because I would have said no. Well, why would I just say yes? I love them!!!! I don't understand her logic in this. I bet that she wouldn't feel very happy if I went to live with another family. My mom says I have difficulties sharing but I don't. For example, if someone asked me for some food from my fridge, I would easily give it away. But my own children.... she has no right to do this to our family!
My mom thinks that the babies can just be "shared". This is so stupid. They are my children that I have always loved deeply. I truly need someone to explain to my mom how it feels to lose your favorite wonderful kids. I really want them back.

Dr. Z :

Hello

Dr. Z :

I believe I can help you with your concern

Dr. Z :

Give me a couple minutes to read over your question thoroughly, so that I can better assist you

Customer:

thank you

Dr. Z :

It does appear that you great value your "baby dolls" and I do not think that your mother fully understands how strongly you are attached to them.

Customer:

I agree

Dr. Z :

These are baby dolls are what you call your children and that you have cared and respected them for such a long time. You hold these with such value as anyone would for important things in our lives. We all have hobbies and personal things that we treasure. For some it is baseball cards, books, stamps, etc...but for you, these baby dolls are what you treasure and brings you peace that you provide them with a good home.

Dr. Z :

I think your mom views this as "childish" and that is why she gave them away to a younger child, but she does not understand why they are important to you and why they are a part of your identity.

Dr. Z :

If you tell her that these baby dolls are linked to who you are and your identity, then she may understand and that this is not a childish hobby, but something that you have great importance for

Dr. Z :

Also your mother gave them away without even discussing it with you, you personally felt violated that she "stole" them without talking to you about it first also hurts you and this is another reason why you are upset

Customer:

Exactly! Thanks for understanding

Dr. Z :

Anytime, I definitely understand where you are coming from on this issue. I think if you tell your mother this and express this to her, she will better understand you position

Dr. Z :

*your

Customer:

Yes she thinks that it's "childish" but she needs to know that they mean a lot to me

Dr. Z :

Well tell her that, explain that this collection of baby dolls are something that you have worked on a lot for a majority of your life and that you picked them out carefully and took methodical care of them too.

Dr. Z :

And also explain that they were yours too and she did not have a right to take them without your permission, that would be like taking something of hers that she cares a lot about without telling her, it is a violation

Customer:

Okay I just told my mom and my dad, and they both understand now. My dad completely agrees, and my mom at least understands.

Dr. Z :

That is great!!

Customer:

My mom thought that since I am not a little kid anymore, that she could just get rid of them from my life. But they mean something to me. I'm glad that she understands now that even though I am older, I can still, at any age, have belongings that I love.

Customer:

Thank you for your help.

Customer:

I really appreciate it!!

Dr. Z :

Anytime, I am always happy to help and I am glad that your mother understood where you were coming from on this issue. My goal is to provide you with excellent service, so if you ever have any further questions or concerns please do not hesitate to contact me at anytime.

Customer:

Ok I will! Bye!

Dr. Z :

Good night :)

Customer:

Good night to you too!

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