I believe I can help you with your concern
I am sorry that you have been experiencing these symptoms, I can imagine how distressing it is for you
Would you mind telling me a little bit more about your mood issues and what is bothering you specifically?
I am so sorry that you are feeling this way, I can tell that you are definitely in pain from what I read
Is that why you discontinued the anti-depressant medication?
You mentioned that you have been going through a lot, is this in addition to your symptoms?
I am so sorry that you had to endure all this abuse and pain in your life for so long. I can understand your feelings of being alone with no family support there to help you. I think what you are going through is called Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). And I know you are familiar with it, being in the military, but the emotional, physical, and verbal abuse that you suffered can trigger it too.
You have nothing to be embarrassed about at all. You went through some serious traumas since you were younger and this takes a toll on anyones psyche.
I can show you some good techniques to help you through this, but I also think seeing a therapist will help you process it too.
Well with the suicidal thoughts that come and go, I would not call it Mild. Also these symptoms are effecting you greatly too, so I would put it at Moderate to Severe.
Why do you not want to believe it?
Sure I would like to teach you some Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) techniques to help you. This is the best modality of therapy to treat PTSD. CBT has a premise that your symptoms are caused by negative thoughts, so if we change your thought process to be more positive and objective as well, then your symptoms will lessen.
No you are not a big baby at all!! This is a serious disorder, but it can be cured and you can take control of it. These emotions do not have to control you at all
So this link may help you, it contains a technique I use with patients called a thought record. It will help you keep track of any negative thoughts you have. You put the negative thought on paper, the emotion accompanying, the evidence to support it, and the evidence against it. Then I want you to come up with an alternative thought for the situation (more objective and plausible). This will help you change your way of thinking to be able to think more positive and not automatically go to a negative type of thinking.
In addition, these two worksheets are very good at helping lessen PTSD symptoms. It can help you focus on the big picture and the objective/positive thoughts and outcomes.
Also individuals with PTSD have a poor coping mechanism, so this worksheet will help you develop a better coping strategy to manage your symptoms better.
In addition, you may have self-critical thoughts that you are focusing on, so this technique can help you replace those self-critical thoughts with more positive self beliefs
Hold on real quick, I still have some more techniques for you
And these three books can help too
So these are some things that you can do in the privacy of your own home to help you.
Now for the supplements, the St. Johns Wort is very effective, also Omega-3, Glutamate, and Valerian root can be added to use to treat your symptoms.
For medication, the use of an SSRI antidepressant, I would recommend Lexapro at 10-20mg in combination with the use of benzodiazepine (e.g Ativan, Xanax, and Klonopin) are effective in managing symptoms of PTSD.
I think this is a good start for you and I wanted to give you best information possible to take control of this
No problem, I just wanted to add the medication there just in case. But the supplements and the techniques work really well.
I wish you the best of luck and I am happy that I was able to help you tonight. My goal is to provide you with excellent service, so if you ever have any further questions or concerns please do not hesitate to contact me at anytime.