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Dr. Z
Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5523
Experience:  Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
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My wife is an-orgasmic and Im looking for the best steps to

Resolved Question:

My wife is an-orgasmic and I'm looking for the best steps to take for getting her help. We have been married for 4 months and she heartbroken over it.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.

Dr. Z :

Hello I believe I can help you with your concern

Dr. Z :

I am so sorry to hear about your wife's anorgasmia, I can imagine how distressing this must be for you and for her

Dr. Z :

I would like to ask a couple questions to get some more information, so that I can better assist you

Customer:

Thanks, XXXXX XXXXX that

Dr. Z :

Has she always had this condition?

Customer:

Sure thing

Dr. Z :

Has she been evaluated by a medical doctor at all?

Customer:

Up until getting married 4 months ago, she never attempted any kind of sexual activity

Customer:

She has had regular physical's but nothing related to her anorgasmia

Dr. Z :

And I know this is a personal question, but she has never achieved an orgasm from self-stimulation before?

Customer:

No your fine, and no she hasn't

Customer:

she never attempted self stimulation prior to marriage, but has since we've been married

Customer:

we also bought a hitachi magic wand which she has tried on her own several times and with me

Customer:

but not with any luck

Dr. Z :

And you mentioned that she had regular physicals, when was the last time she had her hormone levels checked because a hormonal imbalance can cause these issues as can diabetes as well

Customer:

Great question. I'm not sure. I will definitely follow up on that

Dr. Z :

And has she had any pelvic damage at all growing up, injury, etc...?

Customer:

She doesn't have any issues with diabetesthat I know of

Customer:

None that I know of

Customer:

on the pelvic damage that is

Customer:

Anything else you can think of?

Dr. Z :

Okay that is good news, if it is simple hormonal imbalance, this can be corrected. Also some women with anorgasmia have actually had success using the medication Sildenafil (Viagra). Even though this medication is primarily for men it can benefit some women as well as shown in a few studies

Customer:

hmm interesting

Dr. Z :

Also the antidepressant medication Wellbutrin has been shown to treat anorgasmia in women as well and can actually increase a women's sex drive (libido) too, which will make it easier for a woman to achieve orgasm

Customer:

What kind of medical professional would be best to consult on the hormonal levels?

Dr. Z :

Now most likely though, this is a psychological issues with your wife and I would actually recommend seeing a sex therapist in your area to help her.

Dr. Z :

Oh the best for her would be going to a OB/GYN or Endorcrinologist

Customer:

thank you :)

Dr. Z :

I can also recommend therapists in your area that specialize in sex therapy because I am assuming this is a psychological issue

Customer:

Should we go to therapist together or on her own?

Customer:

That seems most likely to me as well...

Dr. Z :

Which ever your wife feels most comfortable with. I think going to together would be the most beneficial for you two because then she knows that you are supporting her with this

Customer:

She has a really rough time focusing, like she has 1000 things going on in her mind all the time

Customer:

on board with that

Dr. Z :

Stress can cause theses issues as well for women.

Dr. Z :

And another personal question, but how is your emotional intimacy with your wife?

Customer:

Great question

Customer:

not as deep as we would like

Customer:

we are crazy about each other, but are very different and do struggle to connect as deeply emotionally as we would like

Dr. Z :

Sometimes emotional intimacy can lead to a lack of orgasm or physical intimacy in the bedroom as well. I think the therapy will benefit both of you and will help you both connect more on an emotional level. Also here is a really good book that can help with that too

Dr. Z :

Sometimes doing the little things helps a lot, like listening to her, learning to make her favorite meal, going out to places that she really wants to go, etc...

Customer:

sounds good, just bought it on kindle

Customer:

I think I do pretty good that way, I do feel like there is something more going here, but of course all of those things will help

Dr. Z :

Another thing that I have patients try is to go out as a couple to a place they have never been or tried and to experience new things. For example go to a pottery class together if you have never tried pottery. It can be fun and spontaneous

Customer:

she just just feel much during sex or any kind of stimulation

Customer:

"doesn't""

Dr. Z :

Well she also has not explored herself before marriage, so that can cause this too because maybe she does not know what she likes. A sex therapist can help with this too

Customer:

agreed

Dr. Z :

I think this a good approach for you and your wife, checking out medical reasons or psychological reasons for this. I am leaning towards the psychological issues though

Dr. Z :

Did you want me to look in your area for qualified therapists that can provide sex therapy for you and your wife?

Customer:

Sounds like a good approach to me

Customer:

that would be very helpful

Dr. Z :

Sure, what is your zip code so I can look in your specific area

Customer:

92648

Dr. Z :

Oh okay, I went to my doctoral program in Los Angeles. Give me a few minutes to compile a good list for you.

Customer:

thanks!

Dr. Z :

Okay these four therapists are Certified Sex Therapists, which means they went through extra training after they graduated, so they are the best to provide you and your wife with treatment regarding her issues.

Dr. Z :

Sorry I meant three

Dr. Z :

Now this other therapist I know personally and she has extensive knowledge in sex therapy and she is very good too

Dr. Z :

Is there anything else I can assist you with tonight?

Customer:

I don't think so

Customer:

BUT i really appreciate your help!

Customer:

A sincere thank you

Customer:

and one LAST HONEST question

Customer:

Do you REALLY FEEL the therapy is worth it and can have a real and lasting impact?

Dr. Z :

Sure you can ask me anything :)

Dr. Z :

Yes therapy with the right therapist is very beneficial for this issue and can definitely be long lasting. Now if her issues are hormone related, then of course therapy will not do anything because this is a physical cause, which is why I recommended the dual approach. But if this is a psychological issue I think seeing a therapist will benefit you and her greatly and will bring you two closer together

Customer:

Solid. Thanks again, solid service solid price. Kudos

Dr. Z :

Anytime, I am always happy to help. I wish you and your wife the best of luck with everything. My goal is to provide you with excellent service, so if you ever have any further questions or concerns please do not hesitate to contact me at anytime.

Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5523
Experience: Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
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Dr. Z
Dr. Z
Mental Health Professional
5523 Satisfied Customers
Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.