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Dr. Z
Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 6020
Experience:  Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
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My husband and I have been married for 38 years, and is

Resolved Question:

My husband and I have been married for 38 years, and sex is a very big problem in our marriage. The problem seems to be that my husband believes that a women's nipples must respond to holding each other and kissing. Needless to say I have always had inverted nipples. The problem is so traumatic for us that we never have sex any more. My husband believes without the nipples responding that I must be withholding my heart from him, so no response no sex and no marriage. He has gotten to the point that he is considering separating.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.

Dr. Z :

Hello I believe I can help you with your concern

Dr. Z :

I am so sorry that you and your husband have been having these issues in your marriage, I can imagine that this is causing you some great distress

Dr. Z :

I would like to ask a few questions, to get some more information so that I can better assist you today if that is okay with you

Dr. Z :

Has your sex life always been an issue for you and your husband?

Dr. Z :

Have you both every sought out couple's therapy at all for this issue?

Customer:

Sex has been an issue for us, he has a bigger sex drive than I have which can be quite a problem. We have had some counseling, but no one seems to take me seriously when I tell them about this problem.

Dr. Z :

Well it seems like his problem is unusual and not common because he is equating love and intimacy with your nipple reaction. It is very similar to when men cannot get erections, but are attracted to their mates, so just because they do not get an erection does not mean they are not attracted to their partner, just like because your nipples do not respond in a way he wants does not mean you are not happy to be with him

Dr. Z :

I think couples counseling is a good approach to this, but I think you and him should see a certified sex therapist as they understand these issues more than just a traditional couples therapist.

Customer:

Thank you, XXXXX XXXXX see that happening though, he says he's tried that and it didn't do much good, besides without good health insurance it would probably be quite expensive. Thank you for your advise.

Dr. Z :

What do you think your husband would be willing to try to help repair your relationship?

Dr. Z :

Because I do think the issues are with him and are not your fault at all, you cannot help that your nipples are inverted that is just genetics

Dr. Z :

I can also look for some sex therapists in your area for you and check on prices as some therapists work on a sliding scale where they charge lower fees for individuals with no insurance.

Customer:

I think he would be willing to do most anything, although his is retired now and on social security.

Dr. Z :

Well there are no medications that can help him with his, only therapy would help with this issue because this is a cognitive issue that he is having where he believes that because your nipples are not reacting, then you must not love him. This is why I think sex therapy is the best option to help him understand more.

Dr. Z :

In addition, this book is very good too and may help you both as well. It can help him see things in a more objective manner too

Customer:

Thank you for your input.

Dr. Z :

Anytime, is there anything else I can assist you with today?

Customer:

No, thank you for the book suggestion I will buy it and get my husband to read it with me.

Dr. Z :

I hope the book helps. Do you still want me to look in your area for possible sex therapists, just in case?

Customer:

I would appreciate that very much.

Dr. Z :

Sure, what is your zip code?

Customer:

34266

Dr. Z :

Okay, give me a couple minutes to compile a list for you

Dr. Z :

So these are licensed sex therapists in your area that may be able to help you and your husband with this issue.

Customer:

Thank you

Dr. Z :

You are most welcome. I hope you and your husband can resolve this issue swiftly for the sake of your marriage. My goal is to provide you with excellent service, so if you ever have any further questions or concerns please do not hesitate to contact me at anytime.

Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 6020
Experience: Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
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Dr. Z
Dr. Z
Psychologist
5411 Satisfied Customers
Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.