My husband and I got married in December last year, and were together for 1 years prior to getting married.
We are from different countries, we meet 4 years ago when I was on holiday overseas. Coming from different countries has meant that our relationship has had to overcome many difficulties, including distance and the stress
of applying for very complicated partner visa's and just waiting...to see what happens.
I came here to live with him and his family, here in South America. I had lived with him at his mothers place for 4 months previously and had not enjoyed my time there, for various reasons, but we didn't have many other options available to us and my career means I can work freelance from almost anywhere in the world. In this country a lot of grown children still live at home due to the cost of living compared to earnings in this country. It is almost impossible for middle class or poorer people to move out to their own apartments, so much so that a lot of my husbands friends have moved overseas.
I have been very unhappy here, at first I struggled with the language and didn't know what was going on a lot of the time, my husband would just not mention important details to me, or would just forget to tell me things. I told him so many times that this was a problem, but it still hasn't changed...which can be infuriating.
During the course of applying for our Partner visa, which he took an extra 3 months to complete for all of his details, always blaming others, or forgetting to do something, or the worst just kept saying, yes I will do that...and juts actually not doing it. I started thinking, his actions are completely out of line with his words. Again very frustrating for me, and it would make me angry. Now I am at the point where I just don't get angry, if he needs to do something, we talk about it, I tell him what he needs and then I wait, to see if he does it without me saying anything...and you know what, he doesn't even when says he will. He has the same problem with his mother, she will ask him for help with something for her business, and says he will help, but then doesn't do it until the very last minute and by this time she is so angry and screaming at him.
Honestly, I have felt there were moments this year that I was going crazy, and that is so unlike me, I normally am quite content and happy. I know that this year has been stressful for us both but I am starting to see things he does in another way, and think that maybe I have allowed these things to be okay, because I am in a foreign country away from family and friends and any support network. There are many more things and situations I could explain but I will leave it here for now. I do not want to live my life in this way, and feel like I am constantly fighting a battle to get him to do things that are his responsibility, I get my things done and am always waiting and waiting and waiting for him...sometimes for weeks and months. But I know that he can do things very efficiently and quickly when it is something he needs or wants. So infuriating...I think I want to end our relationship before children come into the picture...I don't knwo what to do.