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Dr. Z
Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 10587
Experience:  Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
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I am a sophormore in college. I dont have very many friends,

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I am a sophormore in college. I don't have very many friends, a close circle. I'm not disliked by anyone at my school but since my school is small, it is very cliquey. Everyone has their friends and no one is really invited. I live in a house off campus with three girls from my sorority. It sucks. They leave the house a mess. They'll leave food out for days or weeks and let it rot. I mostly eat all of my meals that are provided by my school so I don't make much of a mess and if I do, I clean it up. It's embarrassing how gross our house it but I don't feel like I should have to clean it because it is not my mess. Also, since my room mates are close friends, I'm basically the outcast. They go everywhere together and will just leave me here, do not even invite me. Besides my room mates, I've recently lost my close circle of friends. On my birthday a few weeks ago, they would not do anything with me and I ended up sitting in my house alone while they went out and gave blow jobs to guys. Ever since I confronted them about it, they have also left me out. They wont even speak to me now. I want to transfer to another school near by. The school that I am looking at is larger (less drama, more people), has my major that I am going for, and the sorority I am in so I can join it. I'm just asking from an outsider POV what you think I should do? Thanks.

Dr. Z :

Hello I believe I can help you with your concern

Dr. Z :

I am so sorry that you have been going through these issues at your school, with your friends and roommates, I can imagine how distressing this must be for you.

Customer:

Yes, it is.

Dr. Z :

May I ask, what disadvantages or negatives do you see about going to another school?

Customer:

Right now, I do not see any. The school that I am looking at is also closer to home for me.

Customer:

My mom especially is concerned that I am throwing away my education because of these people but I disagree because I am able to do the same major and career path at the new school

Customer:

Also, I came to this school not knowing anyone here, at the new school I know several people that are my friends from high school and I have been keeping in touch with.

Customer:

I'm just trying to figure out if I am over reacting or if this choice might be a good idea for me.

Dr. Z :

Well I am trying to understand the timeline, but how long do you feel you have been unhappy with your social situation at your school?

Customer:

Probably since this school year has started so the middle of August

Dr. Z :

So it has been only around a month and a half, would that be fair to say?

Customer:

Yes.

Dr. Z :

I also transferred schools after my sophmore year for personal reasons so I know what you are going through. The only downside for me was that I lost some credits in the transfer and had to take a full load the rest of the way to graduate on time. Now you can start looking at transferring schools, and go through the application process, but if things get better by the end of the year the you can withdraw, that is your choice. But it does not hurt to plan ahead just in case things stay the same or get worse.

Customer:

That sounds good. I'm just not sure how to convince my parents of this. I'm not concerned about my dad's reaction but my mom is having a hard time understanding. She likes to think that I'm just being dramatic, haha.

Dr. Z :

I think she will understand in time, give her a logical argument on why the new school is better for you and your career/education, then most likely she will see it your way.

Dr. Z :

But you should also tell her that you will not transfer to another school after this, that is most likely what she is worried about too

Customer:

That's funny that you say that because I was talking to her earlier and she said something like "So if you can't make friends anywhere you're just going to transfer again?"

Dr. Z :

Exactly and I think she just wants reassurance that you will not do that

Customer:

I think I am going to tell her that the new school has more variety of people and will be less drama for me and easier to make friends.

Dr. Z :

That is a good way of putting it too, I think that will help her understand more

Customer:

Alright, well thank you very much. I think that is pretty much all I needed was to know I'm not crazy haha

Dr. Z :

You are definitely not crazy at all. A lot of college students go through this.

Customer:

Thanks for answering so quickly! I hope you have a good day

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