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Ask Dr. Z Your Own Question

Dr. Z
Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 6078
Experience:  Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
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Chat?

Resolved Question:

Chat?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.

Dr. Z :

Hello

Dr. Z :

There you are Robert, at first I did not recognize you because there is another customer that always uses the word "chat" and he usually wants to talk with Dr. Kaushick

Dr. Z :

How are you?

Dr. Z :

I will be here for a few hours, so just respond in the chatbox and I will be right here to chat with you

Customer:

Well i spoke to my ex and she played games as always i explained

Customer:

to you how i think my sun got cancer. But she babbled that the

Customer:

docter she also screwed rang everyday to hear how my

Customer:

eldest was, to me she never said a word. Yeeeghhh.

Customer:

I rang an old neighbour wih whom she ...

Dr. Z :

Hello there Robert :)

Customer:

Guess what he did he put on another voice and said that

Customer:

he was somebody else and the real one moved. The other

Customer:

neighbour denied that of course. But what i really tried

Customer:

to find out if the children saw a lot, cause one time i

Customer:

caught her with a neighbour she was holding a child

Customer:

which could see perhaps i need not have to be explicit.

Customer:

You were probably right she makes also stories up

Customer:

even going so far to tell she`s still a virgin an she looks

Customer:

very weird then. Maness, Julius is probably mine i`m

Customer:

not sure but sure she came from another man i sensed

Customer:

that and jumpde upon her she woukld first say no

Customer:

and again that weird look. There is a whole long story to

Customer:

that one but we skip it. I've ask her to keep the screwing

Customer:

out of sight for the kids am i right? Cause the youngest one

Customer:

feels obliged to lie to me that there even exists a neighboor

Customer:

prone to borderline too.

Customer:

She allies him, bribes him and learns him the silen-

Dr. Z :

I think she has pathological lying tendencies from what you are telling me or she is delusional and believes these lies. I agree that she should keep the "screwing" out of sight from the children as they do not have to be involved in this at all

Customer:

cing the secretiveness all bull, it`s a child with a psychopath.

Customer:

I'm worried, i can end it but than again foster or boarding?

Customer:

He will hate me even more than he does now beeing an ally.

Customer:

You may please.

Dr. Z :

I think the younger child may be allied against you because your wife is poisoning him against you. This is a difficult situation for you, but you cannot stoop to her level and bribe him either. You have to be the adult here and just be the best father you can be

Dr. Z :

He may be against you now, but eventually he will see the truth about your ex-wife.

Customer:

Thus none cause i don`t see him, you are nice, man are, but my

Customer:

female psych, the mother figure says if you must pull

Customer:

and beg let loose and le fxxk them themselves and only

Customer:

once a year send achristmas card.

Customer:

Women don`t die in trenches or in Normandie like we do.

Dr. Z :

I agree that you should not beg at all for your son's attention, but I understand that he is your child and it would be hard to just cut him out of your life completely

Dr. Z :

Women have it tough too in some circumstances, but this is not one of them. This is just involving you and your child. If your child will not believe you or will lie to you, then just be cordial to him and not push the issue. Eventually he will see the truth about his mother

Customer:

He does, i think he dissapears in his gamecomputer. He is

Dr. Z :

But she is good at manipulating and lying and it will take time for him to see this

Customer:

very sesitive and one time when bordy was mean, we both

Customer:

cried on pavarotti and van morrison very hard.

Customer:

I think he made a decision then.

Dr. Z :

He may have made the decision then, that is possible.

Dr. Z :

It sounds like he may have self-esteem or depressive issues based on these symptoms too

Customer:

A heath cordon against women or never cry again or

Customer:

once a year cry allday i don`t know but he was changed

Customer:

after the both of us crying and suffering because of bordy.

Customer:

Then later Youycare and the police tried to desroy his

Customer:

will to break him because he was to loyal towards me they

Customer:

thaught but forgot that he didn`t say anything bad about his mum

Customer:

so i leave him with his mum as long as it doesn~t become incest.

Customer:

I read that bordies are the worst divorced mothers, because

Customer:

their man left them so they decide to never ever let a child leave

Customer:

them , yes 3 hours per month with her outside in the car. You must have

Customer:

read or heard that??

Dr. Z :

I am very sorry that police did this to your son because he was loyal to you, and yes individuals with BPD are very bad divorced mothers because of their mood swings and anger outbursts.

Customer:

And is it an illness or are the y criminals? She with the little voice

Customer:

isn~t it sad a boy of only 16. And i think FreudXXXXX XXXXXer first you

Customer:

castrated me out of the relationship and now you have castrated

Customer:

your sun literally you ought to be shot.

Dr. Z :

I know it is tough seeing that for your son, especially since his mother is not a good maternal figure. Eventually he will see the truth as he gets older and will see that she has been lying to him, but it takes time because she is very good at manipulating

Customer:

I wrote on internet the cheating program the line:

Customer: Customerskincancer, Ufurior breastcancer, Marnix testiclecancer, Julius kills mum.
Dr. Z :

Why did you write those?

Customer:

He will endure this to an Ed Kemp point i am afraid and kill her with a garden tool, she asks for it as a bordie who commit suicide more often. I call this behaviour of hers

Customer:

implicit suicide, i load myself but don`t dare killing nyself let another do it. She tried that several times with me too.

Customer:

In Holland we have examples you don`t know of course but find together

Customer:

an American one, ML King? Edgewise

Dr. Z :

I do not think your son will kill your ex-wife, most individuals with depression do not do this actually, so you should not worry about that. But if you are concerned, you can push for your son to seek out therapy and help himselg

Dr. Z :

*himself

Customer:

JFK? 60% Malolm X you know some controversial borderlines they are not

Customer:

all bad people but go to far. Lady Diana. Sometimes i had to flee for bordy

Customer:

and her rage Jesse Jackson to moderate. Among politicians as we

Dr. Z :

I think JFK and Malcolm X were more narcissistic than BPD, many individuals in power have narcissistic tendencies.

Customer:

see they know with gut feeling what's wrong and draw people into

Customer:

a movement. Sometimes it`s easy bloody Mexicans they take our jobs.

Customer:

My first wife that you had never could have guess of corse was border

Customer:

line too. Father alcoholist mummie victim, she herself lying,

Customer:

cheating rhat1s all you seem to doooooo like the song. I made her also

Customer:

a little more human and she works now with Dutch foreign aid in

Customer:

a high function but of course always in war zones with

Customer:

heated young soldiers utility and sress cancelling like bordy now is escort

Customer:

abusing be abused and cash in.

Customer:

You please cause i tend to make statements but there are answers in it

Dr. Z :

I did not know that your first wife had BPD too, I sense a pattern here from your relationships

Customer:

more of a kind how you could help them, insight is zero with

Customer:

bordies makes no sense, denying, dissociating or you are a liar

Customer:

or jeaulous. A lot of hurt i'm typing here and Don Quichotting.

Customer:

You please take your time if you have a brilliant idee?

Customer:

Dr.M and Dr. Z's tactic is let loose the passed, but if you talk

Dr. Z :

Well it is difficult to interact with someone who has BPD for a sustained period of time, but not impossible. My question is why do you want to interact with these people? It would be better if you moved on and focused on people that are more supportive and helpful for you

Customer:

so much about it that you are completely ill you never touch the

Dr. Z :

I think the past is something you cannot change, you can only change and focus on the here and now

Customer:

subject at all, i forgot everything from my first wife, so i will forget

Customer:

26 years with this one cause from their site it was fake. i

Customer:

believed in something they used me and Father Theresa let them.

Dr. Z :

They did use you and I am sorry for that, but you have learned and become a stronger person in spite of that. Use that to your advantage to help you move on from this stress and ordeal

Customer:

My mother was mentally ill later late onset schizophreni an if

Customer:

i only looked at her she slapped me. She only hit me and i took

Customer:

for my siblings the role of badboy to disr]tract from the lunatic so they

Customer:

had the idea of piece of sense, she used to hit only me and

Customer:

later on a sister who was beautifull, so i never learned

Dr. Z :

That was very brave of you to protect your siblings like that

Customer:

according to mark to connect to non violent people and then he stopped

Customer:

also jehemyaring about socializing cause i walk right into the

Customer:

wrong direction. I should seek a woman the motherfigure and Mark

Customer:

said. Normal women are aliens to me and revers, people sense

Customer:

that you're from a war zone.

Customer:

Any idea?

Dr. Z :

It is possible that seeking out a woman with these qualities may help you, but I think you need to work on yourself first. You do have unresolved stress and issues from being married to someone who obviously treated you so poorly. If you get into another relationship, these trust issues and unresolved issues will effect you greatly

Customer:

It must not be walking only on different eggshells it must be real love

Dr. Z :

Yes I agree it should be real love

Customer:

something i am able to sense but always rejected.

Dr. Z :

Well I think when you are ready, you should seek out true love, but until the past does not bother you so much, only then you will be truly ready to seek out a new relationship

Customer:

She must be really good asembled and high selfesteemed cause the others ware -1 selfesteem they did it with the garbage man not offending the man it`s a good job.

Dr. Z :

I understand, it will take some time to meet this woman, so be patient and careful with your heart. I do not want to see you get hurt again

Customer:

Think there's a chance? Someone likes me without me wrapped in

Customer:

a harness?

Dr. Z :

I think there is a chance, but you will have to work on yourself and let the past stay in the past or it will effect your ability to be in a relationship and also be patient for the right woman

Customer:

You mean never mention the passed or what. I am trying to figure

Customer:

out what happend where it went wrong and then bend that. It is

Dr. Z :

I mean do not let the past effect you greatly. I know you were hurt and used, but you will have to release those past issues and focus on the present and the here and now

Customer:

impossible toerase the passed and invent the wheel again?

Dr. Z :

You cannot erase the past, but you are able to not let it effect you in such a great manner

Customer:

You think i am subconsciously self pitying?

Dr. Z :

No, I think you are hurt and your are very guarded emotionally and this means your mind is trying to protect you from getting hurt again so it hold on to the past a lot

Customer:

Seeking situations that look like what happened in the passed and say see?

Customer:

It`s diffucult? Pantsering or to gullible as bordy says she screwed

Customer:

him or her and then beeing hurt.

Dr. Z :

I think you interpret current situations and expect them to be like they were in the past because that is what you are used to

Customer:

Like an other lunatic looking around suspiciously in the room oft the psych?

Dr. Z :

No, not a lunatic at all. I think you are hypervigilant and anxious about repeating the issues from the past caused all this pain in your life...this is natural given the circumstances.

Customer:

ptss one time a friend of mine and i drove in renault (duck) an

Customer:

suddenly 15 French police with machineguns pointed at us

Customer:

itwas in th60's so hash marihihuana por book. My friend lay psychotc jaemmering under

Customer:

his seat for his mother so afraid was he for the police so i talked to the chief let them

Customer:

inspect the car told them we were fond of France shook hands and they dissappeared in the dark it took me a while before i calmed my friend. This non fear at all was that

Customer:

psychopatic or because i was used to violence and ready to get killed

Customer:

by mum? You undertand?

Customer:

Thus learned (in a weird way) in the passed to deal with suddenn violence?

Dr. Z :

I understand and this can be considered PTSD most definitely. This is why I think these events still strongly effect you and why I think by fixing yourself internally and emotionally you will be ready for a healthy relationship.

Customer:

|My sister a bordy is scared to death and has 27 locks on all doors.

Customer:

But she is bodrderline, should i get that fear also get back no i've other fears

Customer:

for bordy for instance. How am i going to get rid of that. By exposure

Customer:

does bordy senses my fear and condenscense and bulies?

Dr. Z :

Well it takes time usually CBT therapy, like we talked about, can help you move past this issues so that they do not effect you so greatly. Also Dr. Mark is an EMDR therapist, which is a type of therapy that can help you move past this trauma, I would ask him about EMDR

Customer:

cbt is?

Dr. Z :

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).

Customer:

That`s life :)

Customer:

Something with eyes is impossible i have the opposite i cannot

Customer:

see movies help me the eyes move rapidly and then what does the therapy

Customer:

i`ll explain the opposite

Dr. Z :

Well I am not an EMDR specialist, so I cannot say what would happen if you have an issue with your eyes, but I think you should at least ask Dr. Mark about and get his opinion on it since he knows more about it then I do

Dr. Z :

It does not hurt to at least ask

Customer:

eye movement d... r....?

Customer:

desentization

Customer:

rapidly

Dr. Z :

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR).

Customer:

Impossible i found out yesterday that my eyes connected to my brain

Customer:

make me tired

Customer:

i look it up on the internet it was offered by the other psychiatrist.

Customer:

Shall we finish?

Customer:

thank you very much, for some time beeing not lonely and learning?

Customer:

Change behaviour is very difficult.

Dr. Z :

Anytime, I am always happy to help. I think it may be an option for you to get over the past trauma for yourself.

Dr. Z :

It will be difficult, but not impossible for you

Customer:

Oh i thought he went home!

Dr. Z :

No, the website it going through issues and keeps disconnecting for some reason.

Customer:

No i aready worked hard 7 8 years therapy Dan Casriel style you know

Customer:

that therapy? The End. My eyes!! thanks Z.

Dr. Z :

Yeah I have heard of that type of therapy, usually it is a form of group therapy though

Customer:

One thing i suffered 8 months and am over bordy, she did nothing and

Customer:

still thinks we got something and talking about it is impossible. She

Customer:

does not understand that i don`t tolerate an other man, woman you love

Customer:

man you fight. Everytime after contact i am frustrated that she does not

Customer:

understand that i have high sefesteem and don`t give my body

Customer:

to everybody like she does.

Dr. Z :

I can see that, but remember you are not going to focus on her. You are going to focus on yourself and let her do whatever she wants because it does not concern you anymore.

Customer:

So also not via her if she belongs to me, she`s mine i`m helas no cuckold.

Customer:

Shall i say that before or after the hail Maries as a mantra?

Customer:

that she is not my concernI End chat thanks.

Dr. Z :

Yes say it both before and after for yourself, remind yourself that you are bigger than her and that she will not effect you anymore

Customer:

ok bye

Dr. Z :

Goodbye Robert :)

Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 6078
Experience: Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
Dr. Z and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Online Z? For a chat?


 

Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.
Yes I am here for a chat if you like Robert

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Chat Now With A Mental Health Professional
Dr. Z
Dr. Z
Psychologist
5461 Satisfied Customers
Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.