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I believe I can help you with your concern
Give me a couple minutes to read over your entire question, so that I can be able to help you better.
Ok. I didn't know how public this would be so I didn't use my wife's real name.
Its okay I understand, actually after we are done with the chat, I can hide it for you so that it will not be publicly available as well.
So you are both in couple's therapy, is that right?
Every two weeks.
And she is seeing an individual therapist, is this someone who specializes in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT)?
Not sure about that, but our couples therapist has advised it for my wife.
A friend of mine said his wife did it and it helped
I think you have described a lot of symptoms associated with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Here is a link providing more details on this disorder for you
DBT is the best therapy to treat this disorder too
Here is a book on it and website too
So I think if your wife at least tried DBT therapy, there is a possibility to help your marriage out and strengthen it
Ok, I'll check those links out. What can I myself do besides trying to get her into a DBT therapist?
Well you can read over the DBT self-help website link and that book to go over techniques with her to help her. Also these books can help you interact with her and help her as well.
This disorder is very severe and takes a time to treat, so you and her will have to be patient with the treatment as DBT is very gradual
I have the "I hate you..." book, and am aware of the "eggshells" book.
That is good, those are two excellent books on this disorder. The DBT book will help provide the right treatment techniques to help "cure" her BPD
Her symptoms aren't quite as severe as her mom's, but they're getting worse.
Well I think the counseling is helping to lessen her symptoms, but without DBT they will get progressively worse unfortunately
So do you think we're treating the wrong thing with the meds? Isn't BPD only resolved by the therapy and not meds?
The medications help to lessen her symptoms to a degree, although there are no medications specifically for BPD, but DBT therapy is the only true effective "cure" for BPD established currently
I'll look into the DBT method. What should I look for in a good DBT professional, any questions we should ask them?
Well I can look around your area and compile a list of good DBT therapists for you if you like? Good questions to ask is how they were trained in DBT, how often they use it, and how often they treat individuals with BPD. Those are the top three I would ask
That'd be great! I'm going to write those questions down.
What is your zip code, so I can look in your area?
As to how they were trained, what am I looking for in their answer?
town is Bend, Oregon. It has three zip codes.
You want them to be trained at school or at a practice from a supervisor, but if they say they took a weekend course at a workshop that is not sufficient.
Okay give me a few minutes to compile a list for you
So I think these three therapists are best for your wife as they are all proven DBT trained
Thank you! I'll check them out. Have a good day!
You as well, I wish you the best of luck with your wife and that her treatment goes well. My goal is to provide you with excellent service, so if you ever have any further questions or concerns please do not hesitate to contact me at anytime.