Hello I believe I can help you with your concern
Give me a few minutes to read over your question and then I will be able to give you the best advice possible.
I am so sorry that your boyfriend cheated on you like this, and yes this is cheating. I can imagine how hurt you are feeling right now.
May I ask, have you ever suspected that he had low self-esteem or maybe a mild depression before?
Hello, thank you for your willingness to help!Yes, he shared this with me many times, and I always supported him. He did not finish his education, has no car at the age of 35 - and this makes him feel bad. I told him that he will reach his goals, little by little! that he must believe in himself. I have a Master's degree, and he always reminded me that...
And did he ever meet these women at all or was this only online cheating? I am not dismissing it because yes this is cheating and infidelity, I just want to get an idea of how he did it
That was only online cheating, and he never tried to meet them in real life. Moreover, he cheated with unknown, random women, as he told me, he feels "brave" and "not shy" then... In real life, he is a reserved person.
Okay, so I do agree that this was mostly for his low self-esteem and that is why he sought validation from these women. This made him feel more confident in some ways to be valued by other women. It also explains why the women were not very attractive either because he just wanted validation from anyone of the female gender.
So it is possible to get the trust back in the relationship, but it will take a lot of time for him to earn that trust back.
I suggest that he has to be transparent, that means no passwords on the computer or phone and that you can look at it whenever you like with no questions asked. Also I would suggest couples counseling as well because I am not entirely sure he understand how he hurt you
Also for some reason he did not feel validated by you 100 percent and that is because of his low self-esteem. I think couples counseling will help him understand that better that you love and adore this man
Thank you. Do you have any tips, from your experience, which helped betrayed partner to gain trust and respect back, or it only comes with time?
I think these three books will help as well. The first two are geared towards you both as a couple and the last one is geared for him to help him with his mild depression and low self-esteem
It comes in time, but he will have to prove it through his actions. You cannot take his words at face value anymore
I think couples therapy will help you both immensely. It will help you regain the trust back and hopefully can strengthen your relationship more
Thank you for the suggested materials!I totally agree, that it would be good to visit a couple therapist.thank you!
Anytime, I am always happy to help. Is there anything else I can assist you with?
Thank you, XXXXX XXXXX I got the point.