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Dr. Z
Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 10643
Experience:  Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
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Hi have a question concerning my fiancé. I have been in a relationship

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Hi have a question concerning my fiancé. I have been in a relationship with her for the last five years and she claims she has depression. She takes pills for it. I used to Believe her 100% and try to help her as much as possible. I told her to go see a social worker but she says that once every six months is good. I wanted to get her a solar light which was recommended to her for winter she doesn't want to. she claim that she is crazy( her term) in front of all of her friend. She has a hard time to keep friend for more than two years because they eventually say she keeps wanting attention and being baby and they eventually stop hanging out with her. Her mom doesn't believe her and told her in the past that she was seeking attention by doing this. A social worker told her that her problem are very minor compare to the people she usually sees. She does seek quite a bit of attention in other way that claiming depression (likes to be the centre of attention). My question is, is it possible that someone claim to have a depression for the attention? If yes how can I find out? Could she of convicted herself she has depression? How do I help someone like this?
Thank you very much?

Dr. Z :


Dr. Z :

I believe I can help you with your concern

Dr. Z :

Give me a couple minutes to look over your question, so that I can give you best advice possible.

Dr. Z :

May I ask, is she overly concerned about her physical appearance at all?

Dr. Z :

And does she appear overly dramatic at all, with exaggerated displays of emotion?

Customer: Yes very much.
Customer: Yes sometime.
Dr. Z :

I think your fiance may have a personality disorder called Histrionic Personality Disorder, where she over-exaggerates her symptoms. She may have a mild depression, but this is compounded with her personality disorder to seem worse to her. Also many individuals with this personality disorder crave attention and will use illnesses or mental health disorders as an excuse to get that attention.

Dr. Z :

Here is a link explaining this disorder in more detail for you

Customer: What could I do to help her?
Dr. Z :

Well for this disorder, there are no magic pills. She would require weekly therapy typically in the beginning. Usually the best type of therapy for this is called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) or Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT).

Dr. Z :

Here are a few books that can help her though

Customer: Ok is this bad ? Does it get worst? Should I ignore her attention seeking if I find it doesn't make sense?
Customer: Should I talk to her about it I know she would get very mad about it.
Dr. Z :

Well ignoring her would make her seek more attention from somewhere else, so ignoring usually does not help. She has to change her thought process to be more objective and positive, which these two types of therapies can do. This is a serious disorder and it can get worse over time, but with the right treatment there is a high probability of success.

Dr. Z :

Well I think you should push her to go to weekly therapy, convince her that a therapist is an ally and can give her the attention that she wants.

Dr. Z :

So I would not use the personality disorder outright and tell her this, but gently push her into therapy

Customer: Ok thank you very much
Dr. Z :

Anytime, is there anything else I can assist you with?

Customer: Last question I was thinking of taking her to a naturopath to try natural remedie for her mental health and for her weight. What are your tough on it?
Customer: She told me she would like to when her mom mentioned it to her
Dr. Z :

I am not entirely familiar with naturopath approach, but some homeopathic remedies can help like the use of St. Johns Wort, Omega-3, Glutamate, Valerian Root, and 5-HTP all can help her symptoms. Also meditation and acupuncture has been shown in some studies to relieve her symptoms as well. I still think that the CBT and DBT therapies are more effective because they are gradual and changing her thought process to be more objective and positive, and they have no risk of side effects like medications. So I see no negative side in seeing a naturopath at all, but again do not expect miracles because a personality disorder is usually very ingrained in the mind at takes time to "cure"

Customer: Ok thank you this was my last question
Dr. Z :

Anytime, I am always happy to help. I hope your fiance gets better soon. My goal is to provide you with excellent service, so if you ever have any further questions or concerns please do not hesitate to contact me at anytime.

Dr. Z and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you