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Dr. Z
Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 10643
Experience:  Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
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Hello; My son is 6 years old and he is having a hard time

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Hello;

My son is 6 years old and he is having a hard time making friends because he is always either pushing them or annoying them. He always needs to win when they play games and sometimes cheats to win. I have talked to him many times and I can't get through to him. Even at school he doesn't have friends and the teacher told me that he is lacking social skills. My husband lives abroad and he comes and visits once ever 3 to 6 months. I am not sure if this is an issue or not. I ask my son if he wants to have friends and loves to play wherever kids are it's just that once he is with them he gets hyper and causes problems. He is an only child. I don't have any other kids but him. what can I do to help him make friends?

Dr. Z :

Hello

Dr. Z :

I believe I can help you with your concern regarding your son.

Customer:

Great

Dr. Z :

I am sorry that your son is having difficulties making friends, I can imagine how distressing that must be for him and for you to watch

Dr. Z :

I would like to ask a few questions to get some more information, so that I can better help you

Customer:

Sure

Dr. Z :

How long has your son been going to school? And did he go to preschool at all?

Dr. Z :

Also has he always been demonstrating this type of behavior or is this more recent?

Customer:

He`s been in school since he was 3 and he used to go to nursery on a part time basis since he was 2

Customer:

When he went to nursery he was biting kids, until he went to school and he stopped when he was 3

Customer:

from 3 to 4 he was fine

Customer:

then when we moved to a compound where there`s a lot of kids and his dad left, he started experiencing these issues. that was when he was around 4

Dr. Z :

And how does he behave at home with you?

Customer:

he`s fine at home.

Customer:

Sometimes he is stubborn

Customer:

but I deal with it

Dr. Z :

Alright, many children without siblings have some difficulty adjusting to sharing and showing empathy for others, but usually it resolves on its own as they get more acclimated to others and in group settings. It does appear that your son may be taking longer to adjust. A good type of therapy for this is called narrative therapy that can be done by you or a child psychologist if you like. It is basically reading stories that have strong morals and then acting them out through role playing and discussing why it is important to care for others, show empathy, share, etc... Here are some examples of good books that you may want to read with your son to promote conversation with him and help him develop good social skills.

Dr. Z :

This also can be a reaction to his father leaving and your son may have a slight depression, which can cause irritability as well, but usually that would show with other symptoms and would also the symptoms would appear at home too.

Dr. Z :

This is why I think he is just having a difficult time adjusting and I think narrative therapy and role-playing is a good next step for him.

Customer:

He has been recently diagnosed with mild ADHD.

Dr. Z :

Well that can be possible too, although the symptoms of ADHD would show at home as well

Customer:

we are working with a neuro-psychologist, but we just started with her.

Dr. Z :

A neuro-psychologist may be familiar with narrative therapy and role-playing, that is possible. And the neuro-psychologist can try to teach good social skills techniques to your son

Dr. Z :

But at home you can use these books as well and role-play with him too, to help him improve his social skills.

Customer:

I met with his teacher and she told me that the main concern for him are social skills. he`s doing well academically but the main issue is his social skills.

Dr. Z :

And this is why I think that the narrative therapy and role-playing are the best option because they are very effective in helping children learn proper social skills, empathy, etc... And the children really enjoy doing them too, because it is like a game for them

Dr. Z :

That is great that he is doing well academically, most children with even mild ADHD do not do well academically

Customer:

great. Thank you very much for your help

Dr. Z :

Anytime, is there anything else I can assist you with today?

Customer:

he`s doing very well with reading, writing he is excellent in math he may have some comprehension problems but progressing very well

Customer:

he goes to a British school and they start early and the expectations are very high. and he has been very capable meeting these expectations. He has support at home too.

Dr. Z :

That is very good that he is doing so well and that he has great support at home. I think this issue will only be temporary and will not be long term for him.

Customer:

Thank you very much. you made me feel much better.

Customer:

I will start reading these stories with him

Dr. Z :

Anytime, I am always happy to help. I wish you and your son the best of luck with everything. My goal is to provide you with excellent service, so if you ever have any further questions or concerns please do not hesitate to contact me at anytime.

Customer:

Thank you again

Dr. Z :

You are most welcome :)

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