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TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5763
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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Dear, I have been married for about 1.5 OKMH1001217

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Dear, I have been married for about 1.5 years, from the very first beggining I noticed that my husband has anger managment problems, he gets angry and nervous for Absulotly no reason, he always tries to show that am mistaken, my family even his family, he underestimate everyone and tries to degrade every one. He is so errogant and thinks he is the best. Even when he knows am right he tries his best to frustrate me and degrade my capacities. When I got pregnant he didnt change, he didnt make get enough rest, it was stressfull pregnany fighting most of times for no reason. He gets angry with no reason to mention. After I deleivered my baby, he gave me and the baby hard time. The baby was abused from the first week till now. We have visited many mental health professionals who prescribed some medicine for him, but he refuses to take them cause he fears medicine and a lot of other things like flighing and death. I know that during his twenties he has been in truama due to an accident, a big fight that has chaned his behavoir skills. He is refusing to take medicine and he is driving me crazy. I threatened many times that I would leave him and file for divorce, this has helped to change his behaviour with baby. But still he has this insulting behaviour. How to deal with such type of a person especally that I dont want to leave and leave my kid behind he is only 9 months old?

Hello, I'd like to help you with your question.

If your husband is not willing to get help, it can be very frustrating. Getting someone to get treatment when they refuse is always difficult, especially when dealing with an adult that you have no control over. You want them to see the importance of taking care of themselves but for some reason, they refuse. It can be upsetting when you care about the person and they will not listen, especially when they are hurting you and your child.

If your husband is refusing to do what the doctors and therapists are recommending, you could try enlisting the help of friends or other family members. Sometimes a person will listen to someone from outside of their immediate family because they are not so easy to dismiss.

Here are some other resources to help you with ideas on how to help your husband:

I Am Not Sick I Don't Need Help: How to Help Someone with Mental Illness Accept Treatment-Xavier Amador.

However, if your husband is emotionally abusing you and abusing your child, you may need to take your child and leave. Seek the help of your family if possible. If not, you might need to seek help from a shelter in your area. Here are some resources to help:

If you do feel it is safe, you could also try a controlled separation. The idea of a controlled separation is not to end your marriage, but to allow your husband to see that his behavior is causing hurt and pain in your marriage. You can take your child and leave your husband for however long it takes him to seek help and take it seriously. If he does not, then you might need to consider divorce. Any person with out of control anger issues can potentially be dangerous. You and your child deserve to be safe and not have to face his anger every day. Here is a resource to help you:

Should I Stay Or Go? : How Controlled Separation (CS) Can Save Your Marriage by Lee Raffel

You might also want to consider seeing a counselor on your own. If your husband will not cooperate and go, then going on your own can provide you with the support and help you need to decide how you want to proceed with your marriage.

I hope this has helped you,

TherapistMarryAnn and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
I hope my answer was helpful to you. If you have any more questions, please let me know.


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