Hi I need some relationship advise please from a psychologist
I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years, but lately i have been feeling very independent and very distant from him. I'm not sure why i feel like this but it is upsetting me. I don't know if i just want to be on my own but i also love my boyfriend very much. I'm very confused why i feel like this. I understand its common to feel more independent as you go through your relationship and through the stages, but its more of a niggling feeling that something is not right.
I have only every been in 2 relationships in my life the one i'm in now and the one i was in from the age of 14 to 18 i am now 22 years old and met my now boyfriend when i was 18.
The only thing is i was not really ready to get into a new relationship when i got with my now boyfriend but i really liked him and he was moving to university and it felt right at the time to go into a new relationship. Now i am thinking did
i give it enough time between my relationships ? was i single long enough? at the end of the day i was only single for about 6 months in-between.
I know the guy i am with now is definatley what they call 'the one' and i see him in my future and i can see myself getting married to him and even having kids with him, but for some reason i feel like there is something missing and i am not sure what it is :(, its so frustrating, its not that i want to be in a new relationship with someone else.
Yesterday i spoke to my boyfriend about how i have been feeling again, he already knew i haven't been feeling myself lately within the relationship, hes even noticed saying he feel like he is giving 100% to the relationship and for some reason im only giving 80% which is true something like a wall is in between us getting in the way of me wanting to give 100% but i do not know what? i decided yesterday that i needed a break, he was very angry at first but after he had calmed down and when i explained to him that i need time to find out what i am feeling and thinking then come to a conclusion on whether i should still be in this relationship or not. so we are still currently a couple but im just not spending time with him at the moment until i have worked things out in my head, i dont feel its fair to him im not giving the 100% he is he deserves 100% from me.
i get upset just thinking about it because i cannot understand why i feel like this i have the most amazing caring loyal boyfriend and yet i cannot feel the connection i used to have for him but i know i still love him because i do not want to give him up.Everyone says that he is a good guy that there are very few as genuine as he is. his personality in my opinion is spot on hes so much like me its sometimes scary.
i see single people having such fun flirting and so on and just being their own person and i do get a jealous. I even find myself asking people in relationships how long they have been together to see if they have been in a relationship longer than me and my current boyfriend.
I have felt similar a year into our relationship but it passed maybe this will too? Maybe i should be on my own? Im so scared of losing this amazing man and making a big mistake!
Any advice would be appreciated