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Ask Rafael M.T.Therapist Your Own Question
Rafael M.T.Therapist
Rafael M.T.Therapist, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 3191
Experience:  MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
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I think my husband (of 3 years) age 56 has undiagnosed Aspergers.

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I think my husband (of 3 years) age 56 has undiagnosed Aspergers. He also has a number of OCD habits and also drinks at least 2-3 beers per night along with shots of whiskey. He does not think he has a drinking problem and is very self focused as well as extremely parsimonious. Can these traits improve with therapy, medications etc? It is becoming very difficult to live with him and he has major hoarding tendencies with refusal to take any action.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I am very sorry too know about your situation.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

This very serious, since what you are depicting here shows a very dysfunctional person with serious chronic mental health problems, from alcoholism, Aspergers, to OCD, and I think personality disorders too, plus the hoarding issue.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

This is very complex and if 3 years of marriage this situation has not improved at all and he refuses to change, then I do not see any realistic hope for him to get better nor your life together.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Psychotherapy, both individual and group are necessary for each one of these disorders, but would be helpless or just not happen if he refuses to change and get the help he needs.

Customer:

I understand all of this. He has made some attempts, it gets somewhat better but then worse again. He is an engineer with a stable job but expresses dislike of any of his superiors and difficulty with getting promoted.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

All the disorders you mentioned are chronic mental disorders, but rehabilitation is possible, but could only happen through long term treatment with the full person{s commitment and hard work,

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I see, then he is functional to that point.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

WOudl he be willing to get necessary psychological treatment for all these disorders?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

He needs what is know as "dual diagnosis" treatment, and it will be tough, since according to your message he has alcoholism besides of these other obsessive-addictive disorders, personality problems and the possible Aspergers.

Customer:

I have asked him to do that a few times and he always tells me he can fix his own problems. I do believe he recognizes he has problems. We have made major progress with some of the hoarding issues but he actually goes through trash to make sure I have not thrown anything away every week on trash day. Basement is a nightmare and he gets very angry with me if I try to clean garage or basement. He knows I want to put my car in garage but seems to always have other needs and mine not important.

Customer:

He does have OCD issues such as always having to wash his hands before he eats and wont touch any food with his bare hands unless they are clean. Dish towels have to be washed separately from everything and other things like a sign on the dishwasher that says either clean or dirty if not set accordingly, it upsets him.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Right. the problem is that with the alcoholism, and the other disorders the tendency would be for his .your situation to get worse and not better, thus unless he addresses these disorders and issues with necessary professional support, he would not get better,and your mental health and well-being would get even more undermined.

Customer:

I think I have known this for some time, just need professional advice. I think I will have to seek some therapy to deal with all of this. I seem to like to try and fix people as I am an NP but this is one at age 60 I dont think I need the rest of my life.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Absolutely

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I fully support your plan, since this would be overwhelming for most people in your shoes.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Coping is tough, but essential otherwise you would get very seriously mentally affected by it.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

He needs professional treatment for sure,and it would take long term, not a couple of sessions.

Customer:

Thank you for your help.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

You{re very welcome, than you for your trust.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Please feel free to contact me to follow up, since I am here willing to support you as possible.

Rafael M.T.Therapist and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

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