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Dr. Z
Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5743
Experience:  Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
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Hello Dr Z, I had the chance to rekindle with someone I

Customer Question

Hello Dr Z,

I had the chance to rekindle with someone I like and met a year ago. But I think I may have blew it once more by trying to impress him too much. And as a result, I think I may have too offputting. We had a date last Tuesday, and it went well overall. We have been exchanging some text mesages since. He happens to be Jewish (practicing), and today I sent him a message, saying that I hope he was resting well. As for me, I danced for two hours - high intensity - both fun and useful for exercise.
It's been over 8 hours that I sent the message; and sabbath is now over in Paris, and he did not reply to me.
I think I was to anxious to talk to him, and I did a faux pas by sending him that message, which may have been inappropriate.
I feel nervous now, and fear that I may have blown my chances with him once more....
I tend to be very spontaneous, and sometimes don't think about the consequences of my actions. How do you interpret his silence? Are my chances gone out the window?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.

Dr. Z :

Hello again

Dr. Z :

I think it is too early to tell if you "scared him off" so to speak.

Customer:

Ok, but you agree that what I wrote was inappropriate.

Dr. Z :

Usually guys sometimes do not like to look "needy" and will wait sometime to text back or he may have made plans and instead wanted to provide you with 100 percent of his undivided attention

Dr. Z :

I dont think what you wrote was inappropriate, you asked if he was resting well

Customer:

Ya, but then I say that I danced my heart out for two hours. That's kind of not considerate of him is it?

Dr. Z :

Well not necessarily, does he know that you like to dance?

Customer:

Yes, he does. But he is also sort of the jealous type. But the truth is when I go out to dance, it is for the dancing, not for meeting guys. I literally get a work out on the dance floor. But he has never seen me in action to really know that

Dr. Z :

Okay, well then he may be a little jealous, but usually that will make him call you sooner to get details about the dancing and to confirm that you did not meet any guys. I think so far what you did was alright with the text and I do not think he would interpret it as inconsiderate.

Dr. Z :

So how long have you been dating this guy?

Customer:

Well, I met him a year ago, we went out on a couple of dates, then I scared him off by telling him that I had genital herpes. I did not hear back from him after that. A year later, I see him on the same dating website, and decide to send him a message. He suggested that we go out last Tuesday; the date was rather positive, and we have been sending a couple of text messages to each other every day since. Except for today where he did not answer.

Dr. Z :

Well it sounds positive, but it is still too early to tell if he responded negatively to your text or not. I dont think he should though. Your text seemed pretty innocuous in my opinion. If he does not respond in 24 hours, you can send another text explaining that you went dancing just for the sake of dancing and that you hope he is enjoying his weekend.

Customer:

ok, will do. Should I wait more than a day before writing to him?

Dr. Z :

I would definitely wait at least 24 hours till your write him...play hard to get ;)

Customer:

Ok, I will as hard as it is for me to play hard to get.

Customer:

Thank you.

Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5743
Experience: Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
Dr. Z and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Thank you Dr Z. He wrote to me and said that we should meet again :)

Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.
Great news :) I hope it goes well for you :)
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Yes, it is. Merci beaucoup. You'll most likely hear from me again sometime in the future.

Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.
You can contact me at anytime, I am glad I can help :)

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Dr. Z
Dr. Z
Mental Health Professional
5743 Satisfied Customers
Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.