Hello I believe I can help you with your concern
I am sorry that you are having these issues with your girlfriend, I can imagine how distressing this is for you
First off I can definitely say that you do not have a Bipolar Disorder based on this behavior you just described.
Bipolar Disorder is where someone goes through long cycles (typically months) of depression (e.g. sadness, crying spells, hopelessness, etc...) and then shifts to usually weeks of something called Mania (e.g. bountiful energy, rapid thoughts, talks fast, insomnia, irritability, easily distracted).
This is his girlfriend. May I add a few of my concerns regarding the issue at hand?
Sure go for it :)
I will just post some of the links explaining Bipolar Disorder in more detail for you while you are typing
Here is a good link explaining Bipolar Disorder
My sweetheart gets to be very moody! With the blink of an eye he goes from being happy to screaming and fighting. He will get up in the middle of the night and "claim" he either hears or sees something.
And here is a link explaining Mania and Hypomania symptoms associated with Bipolar Disorder in more detail as well
I have read the signs and symptoms. There were a few that matched him to the tee
And thats why we are asking you for your expertise
Typically most individuals with Bipolar Disorder do not cycle that fast, unless it is a Mixed Episode, which is considered rare
What does he hear and see at night?
One time it was a shadow of a lady, the next it was he hears weird noises, while we are sleeping in the middle of the night he will wake me up and argue at me that I am hiding one of my cell phones and he can feel it vibrating. (none the while nothing turns out to be what he claims). ITs not often he will get a full nights sleep as he gets up in the middle of the night often, either to check my personal and or work cell. His new thing is checking underneath my pillow and asking me to roll over because he swears I am hiding something
Is it only at night he hears these sounds and sees these things?
I am really trying to understand him but he gets so moody so quickly
yes only at night
May I ask, is he a jealous person?
Thats a hard one. Again, he can be prince charming one second and bipolar the next. So its really hard to say
And when he thinks you are hiding a phone does he think you are cheating on him or talking to another guy at all?
yes and yes
I am a Leasing Manager very dedicated to my profession, all I do is work and come home. There are no reasons why he should act this way. I just dont understand we can have a wonderful evening and then right before we crawl into bed he gets into one of his moods and will make a statement that causes us to start fighting. I have been extremely patient and am trying to understand it but I dont know what else to think anymore
Well it sounds like he may have a delusional jealousy disorder. This is a type of Delusional Disorder, which can account for these symptoms.
wow. I would have never even guessed that one
This disorder can occur at anytime during someone lifespan, but it appears that the trigger is only at night for him for some reason.
With Bipolar Disorder, there would be cycles of depression and mania like I explained, but that does not appear to be the case
It also can be Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), but I am leaning more towards Delusional Jealousy on how you described his behavior
But here are the symptoms for BPD, just in case if you want to look it over
Now there is a difficulty treating a delusional disorder, but it does not appear to be severe with him at this time, but it can progress to more severe later. But the best type of treatment for him is called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). I can possibly recommend a therapist in his area that can help treat him if you like
Also the sounds and visuals he gets at night are called illusions. They are not hallucinations because they only appear at night, while hallucinations appear in the day and night. Illusions are more are mind playing tricks with our ears and eye sight (e.g. you are expecting a phone call and you think you hear your phone ring, so you check it, but it did not ring).
Dr Z is julio again i keep asking her to bring the other phone that triguers my episodes or what ever but she refuses how can we solve this issue
Well why is she refusing to bring that phone?
I refuse to bring my phone home because! it starts the arguments all over again. as soon as he sees it I get accused of sending instant messages to someone or talking to someone on it. The funny thing is, the service is turned off on it. It doesnt even work. But he swears I can still text someone or go on different websites
Okay, well what if you both got rid of the phone, like traded it in or donated it somewhere. Getting rid of it permanently. It most likely will not resolve a delusional disorder, but it may give some breathing room
Lets also point out that he goes through all my phones. Personal, work and the non-working. ITs sad because for a minute there he was even reading and checking my emails thru my phone
Yeah these symptoms do sound like Delusional Jealousy to me, especially the late night behavior. Getting rid of the phone will not solve this issue, but like I said it may give you some breathing room to get him treatment possibly
Mentally I am exhausted. I am constantly being accused of doing something, and I am not.
I understand, this must be tiring for you especially when you are doing nothing wrong. Typically a delusional disorder will get progressively worse as time goes on without treatment, which will cause you to be more emotionally exhausted.
So here is his suggestion. He suggests that all of my phones be put on my night stand next to me before bedtime. I dont see the point and I think it will only encourage another fight. What are your thoughts to this idea?
With delusional jealousy, he will keep making these kind of arrangements and slowly start to control your life more and more because his jealousy will grow and grow. While this may appease him right now, down the line there will be another suggestion and another suggestion that is aimed to help appease his jealousy. So this is not a long term plan. Now you can make this arrangement with him, but on the condition that he seek therapy as well, so you both will be getting what you want.
Okay great. I will suggest the idea.
Would you like me to try to find a good therapist in your area that can help?
that would be wonderful and greatly appreciated
Of course, anything to help. What is your zipcode?
One more note if I may add?
Okay give me a few minutes to see if I can find some therapists that can help you and your boyfriend out
Sure go for it
He had a mental evaluation done about a month ago, and got a clean bill of health. I told him that unless the situation was brought up for discussion it would not be diagnosed. Am I right or wrong?
You are definitely right. In fact individuals with Delusional Disorder are routinely not evaluated unless they commit a violent act. Individuals with this disorder can hide the symptoms of it, so he would have to talk openly about it with a therapist
Give me a couple minutes more to find some good therapists for you, I want to give you a good list to compare and contrast them each
okay thank you
Okay, well I think these therapists are pretty good. They all state they have experience working with Psychosis, which a Delusional Disorder is a form of psychosis, so I think they can help you boyfriend a lot. I think the first two are the most qualified and the next two are competent in this area
wonderful! Thank you
Also I wanted to provide this book on Delusional Disorder, it is considered the gold standard in reference for this disorder and I still use it to this day
okay thanks for that suggestion
I truly appreciate your help!
Anytime, is there anything else I can assist you with tonight?
No thank you. I truly appreciate your help regarding the situation. Your expertise truly means alot.
I am happy to help. I hope everything works out well for both of you. My goal is to provide you with excellent service, so if you ever have any further questions or concerns please do not hesitate to contact me at anytime.
Should your services be needed again can we specifically ask for you?
Yes you definitely can. All you have to do is put "For DoctorZ only" before you type your question and it will go directly to me.
oh ok awesome
I am just happy to help, best of luck to both of you :)
thanks again! Its hopefully going to be a better weekend this weekend! LOL..
You are most welcome, and I hope it will be a better weekend for you both as well.