Hello I believe I can help you with your concern
I am so sorry to hear about your grandchild grieving, I can imagine how much this distresses him and you to watch
I would like to ask a few questions to get some more information, so that I can better help you
May I ask why he is grieving?
His mom passed away abt 2 yrs ago. He now lives with me his dad's mother. He has a lot of anger build inside of him along with the grieving
So he has been grieving and angry for the last 2 years? Or has it only been the last 6 weeks?
He hs been like this every since my son got custody of him. We did not get to see him for abt three years because his mom kept him from us.
Oh wow, I am so sorry. Well I want to give you this handout on grief, which is a natural process, but I think your grandson is going through something called Complicated Grief and may need to a child or adolescent therapist to help him
Complicated grief is difficult to treat and is very similar Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) because the child suffered through a trauma with the passing of his mother
I am aware of that. Your advice is helping me, because I have bn making phone calls today no one is in until Monday.
I am sorry, that is unfortunate that no one is available today. For him, therapy would be a gradual process and there are no quick fixes. I would not recommend medications at this point yet because of the side effects and because psychotherapy has not been tried yet. I can show you a few techniques to help him process his grief and anger in a more positive way if you like, but like I said this is a gradual process and will take months until he is "cured"
So the best type of therapy to treat his symptoms would be something called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). CBT has a premise that your symptoms are caused by negative thoughts, so if we change his thought process to be more positive and objective as well, then his symptoms will lessen.
So this link may help you, it contains a technique I use with patients called a thought record. It will help him keep track of any negative thoughts he has. He puts the negative thought on paper, the emotion accompanying, the evidence to support it, and the evidence against it. Then I want him to come up with an alternative thought for the situation (more objective and plausible). This will help him change his way of thinking to be able to think more positive and not automatically go to a negative type of thinking.
In addition, these two worksheets are very good at helping lessen anxiety and depressive symptoms. It can help him focus on the big picture and the objective/positive thoughts and outcomes because right now he may be focusing on negative future centered around hopelessness.
Okay.Will you send these to my email addess?
Actually I am not allowed to directly email you anything, that is the rules the administrators set up. But these worksheets and links I gave you will be saved in your JA account forever, so you can always come back to it
Also this worksheet is really good at retraining his anger, so that he can express it in a more assertive way and not let the anger control him
Will I be able to come back to this?
Yes you definitely will. A link of this chat should be sent to your email or you also bookmark this chat using this link as well.
Also these books should be very helpful for you too
Just go to amazon and purchase them?
Yeah if you want to go to Amazon at purchase them, I just wanted to give you all resources available to you. The techniques I provided are free though
Okay.. Here I see save and exit at the bottom. Should I click on it when I amdone?
Actually save and exit will not close the chat, you would have to rate me to close the chat (the smiley faces at the bottom of the page).
I am enjoying this chat. You have been very helpful to me. After today I just did not know which way to turn. So I came to this site.
I am glad that you found this chat helpful. If you need anything else you can ask follow up questions free of charge or you can ask new questions and you can ask for me by putting "For DoctorZ only" before your question.
I know it is difficult on how to help your grandson, but you are doing the right thing by asking for help and getting guidance. It will take some time till your grandson feels better, but with the right treatment he will get there.
This is how I feel. I know he needs help. I am giving it my best with what I have.
I know you are, and so far you are doing a great job. Just continue to be supportive and give him the right tools to get better (e.g. therapy).
Well I guess I will sign off now. How do I get back into this area if I need too?
Well you can click on the link in your email and there will be a box for follow up questions if you like. Or you can go to the JA homepage and log in. Then under a bar called My Questions you will see this question and you can click it to ask follow up questions.
My goal is to provide you with excellent service, so if you ever have any further questions or concerns please do not hesitate to contact me at anytime.
Thank you so very much for your help. Have a great weekend. Be blessed
You are most welcome :)
Before you sign off though, I would very much appreciate if you could rate my performance in helping you so that I can get credit for this question. Thank you very much