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DrMichael-MD, Psychiatrist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 6
Experience:  Board Certified psychiatrist with 25+ years diverse experience, specializing in Child & Adolescent Psychiatry.
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HELP- Stages of Relationship

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Can someone please explain to me the stages of relationships? True love vs infatuation? Please help.

When two people meet and fall in love, initially the person's body releases a lot of hormones which is the first feeling of "being in love." These love hormones actually change the way the brain and body thinks and feels, which is one reason why "being in love" feels so good and is so exciting and feels like being high.

Also during the first stages of a relationship there are a lot of fantasies about how wonderful the person is and how you will "live happily ever after" etc.

After a while, the love hormones wear off and you are no longer in the state of "falling in love." Also, the relationship has gone for awhile and you are beginning to see more of the "real" person, warts and all. You realize the person you fell in love with is not perfect, and has some flaws and irritating habits. It is also when the relationship gets "real" and you have to do some work in the relationship.

Some people who jump from relationship to relationship do so for the "falling in love" high, but leave the relationship when it gets "real" and there is work to do.

After people have dated for awhile and "played the field" at some point most people realize there is no "perfect" person, and that they will have to commit themselves to one person..flaws, warts and all.

People often say.."When you meet the right person you will know it." Many singles who are still looking and frustrated in not finding the right person often don't really believe this. However, it is pretty much true. When you meet that right person, it just feels right and comfortable, and you don't have to play any games. They love you just the way you are.

Of course this right person is not perfect, and neither are you. True love is accepting this fact, and staying together anyway even when it is not exciting and glamorous and doing the hard work that all relationships require.

One final observation: Sometimes the type of person a person tends to "fall in love" is not the best person to settle down with. The classic case of this is always falling in love with the "bad boy" or "bad girl." Yes, the bad boys and girls are exciting, but sometimes they don't work out as a long-term companions. Sometimes you have to drop the excitement and drama if you want a long term, steady commitment.

Hope this little bit of information has been helpful.

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