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Dr. Z
Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5978
Experience:  Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
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hi, ive just realised that for the past 3 years ive subconciously

Resolved Question:

hi, ive just realised that for the past 3 years ive subconciously been trying to overcompensate for a dissapointing failure at school. how do i come to terms with it and free myself going forward?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.

Dr. Z :

Hello I believe I can help you with your concern

Dr. Z :

I am sorry that you believe that you had a "disappointing failure" at school, I can imagine how distressing that must make you feel at times.

Customer:

hi dr z

Dr. Z :

Typically when someone is trying to overcompensate for something in the past, they are focused on negative thoughts about the past and not necessarily focusing on the present or future. So a goal would be to think more objectively about the future and avoid focusing on the past

Customer:

yes i cant seem to b able to shake it off

Customer:

i see

Dr. Z :

Hello there, well I do have a few good therapeutic techniques that may help you

Customer:

that would be great

Dr. Z :

Before I explain those techniques, can you tell me what happened at school for you to call it a failure?

Customer:

yeah sure

Customer:

i failed my final year

Customer:

growing up i had great expectations

Customer:

both from myself as well as others

Customer:

andi guess it was both a shock and surprise that i never really accepted

Dr. Z :

I am so sorry that happened to you, do you think this experience may have caused a bit of a depression for you?

Customer:

yes

Customer:

probably very much so

Customer:

i dont think ive ever really recovered from that depression

Customer:

come to think of it

Dr. Z :

Okay, well I have the perfect therapy techniques for you to help you recover from this. It is called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). CBT has a premise that your symptoms are caused by negative thoughts, so if we change your thought process to be more positive and objective as well, then your symptoms will lessen. In addition, CBT focuses only on the “here and now” and does not focus on the past at all, which may be helpful for you.

Customer:

sounds good

Dr. Z :

So this link may help you, it contains a technique I use with patients called a thought record. It will help you keep track of any negative thoughts you have. You put the negative thought on paper, the emotion accompanying, the evidence to support it, and the evidence against it. Then I want you to come up with an alternative thought for the situation (more objective and plausible). This will help you change your way of thinking to be able to think more positive and not automatically go to a negative type of thinking.

Dr. Z :

In addition, these two worksheets are very good at helping lessen depressive symptoms. It can help you focus on the big picture and the objective/positive thoughts and outcomes.

Customer:

thanks

Dr. Z :

Also individuals with some depressive symptoms have a poor coping mechanism, so this worksheet will help you develop a better coping strategy to manage your depression better.

Dr. Z :

Also this worksheet will help you replace your negative self-critical beliefs, with more positive self-beliefs

Dr. Z :

In addition, I believe that these two books will be excellent for you as well

Customer:

do the worksheets have to be done in any order

Customer:

thanks

Dr. Z :

No the worksheets do not have to be done in any particular order, but the more you practice the worksheets the faster the objective thought process becomes ingrained in your brain to a point where it will be habitual. You see right now with your depression you are focusing just on negative thoughts and not on the whole picture, this CBT will help you change that. Here is a good diagram to illustrate what I mean

Customer:

i see, that makes a lot ofsense

Dr. Z :

Also if you would like you can take the Natural Supplements of St. Johns Wort and Omega-3 (fish oil) to help improve your mood as well

Customer:

ok

Customer:

dowa st johns of worts raise your dopamine levels?

Customer:

does*

Dr. Z :

I think with these worksheets and the books you should be fine with helping to retrain your brain effectively to not focus on the past

Dr. Z :

It raises your Serotonin levels actually

Customer:

thats excellent

Customer:

oh i see

Customer:

can i ask a second q

Dr. Z :

Sure go for it :)

Customer:

how would one overcome fear of overachieving

Customer:

i guess it would be centered on fear of becoming snobbish

Customer:

or being arrogant

Dr. Z :

Well that has to do with self-confidence in some ways, and I think the What-If technique and the Positive Belief Record that I gave you can help with that because you have this overwhelming sense of trying to prove yourself by overachieving, which means you are not confident in who you are now

Customer:

i see

Customer:

i can see that link

Customer:

ok

Customer:

thats been a great help

Customer:

ill give those exercises a go

Customer:

thank you v much

Dr. Z :

Anytime, I am always happy to help. Is there anything else I can do to assist you?

Customer:

no i think thats prob the root of the problem

Customer:

thank u v much

Customer:

this is the first time im using this service

Dr. Z :

Okay, well I hope everything works out well for you. My goal is to provide you with excellent service, so if you ever have any further questions or concerns please do not hesitate to contact me at anytime.

Customer:

what do i do now

Customer:

thankyou

Dr. Z :

Well now all you have to do it click on one of the smiley faces that you see at the bottom of your screen and click submit

Customer:

i can see how the exercises will really train the thought process

Customer:

and rework assumptions and aspirations

Customer:

ok

Dr. Z :

The CBT exercises are very effective, it is the most evidence based therapy in the world with 1000's of studies to back it up

Customer:

yeah ive heard of it before

Customer:

thanks a lot dr z

Dr. Z :

You are most welcome, good luck :)

Customer:

thanks! u2

Customer:

catchya l8a

Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5978
Experience: Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
Dr. Z and 2 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

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Dr. Z
Dr. Z
Psychologist
5376 Satisfied Customers
Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.