Hello I believe I can help you with your concern
I am so sorry that your mother talks excessively like how you described, I can imagine how that would be exhausting
May I ask, when she talks excessively does she talk very fast?
Is your mother overly dramatic at all? Like does she ever exaggerate displays of emotion?
I would not say she is overly dramatic when she talks, but she overreacts, for example: she would be stressed out more than would be normal when someone has not locked the door and she seems to get a fright easily and would then frighten all of us with her verbal response
Is she sensitive to perceived criticism? And needs constant reassurance of approval?
I spoke to my sister whom she stays with and she feels she is definitely overly dramatic (previous question)
Okay, that is what I thought. I think your mother may have a disorder called Histrionic Personality Disorder and this causes her excessive talking. The excessive talking is a two pronged approach, to keep the attention on her and to also talk over you to avoid an criticism or any perceived negative comment that you may say. Here is a good link describing it in more detail for you
A good tactic to try to stop the excessive talking is to listen to them for a certain period of time, not too long, until you have enough information to try to formulate for yourself what yous mother is trying to communicate. Then ask them if they would mind if you interrupt her. Your mother may say no or that she had not finished her thought then, but you can say "Oh I thought you did finish your thought just then." Then when you interrupt, say something about what you hear and something simple and to the point, but if possible, something that reflects something positive about her. Don’t stop with a comment about her. Add some experience of your own that will confirm that you understand what they’re experiencing (e.g. memory, similar feeling, etc...). Then tell her you’ve been listening for more time than you have to spare (and more than you want to give away) that you’re really sorry, but you have work you have to do and you’ll have to continue this conversation later.
This allows you to actively listen to her, so that she feels validated, but also allows you to set boundaries as well
Individuals with this disorder have a hard time with boundaries, so it is your job to be firm with them. And at first she may take it personally, but eventually she will start to understand and respect your boundaries if you are consistent with setting them.
Thank you, XXXXX XXXXX have a look at the website. Are people with this problem ever able to get insight into their problem, or would we just have to cope with it? Any form of therapy worthwhile? (As far as I can remeber from medical school days, there is not too much that can be done for this problem...)
Well psychotherapy is usually a good type of therapy for individuals with this disorder. I would recommend either Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) or Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) as these therapies help to keep your mother on task and not try to dominate the session with excessive talking. These therapies will also help her gain insight onto her behavior as well and help her manage her emotions better, so as not to exaggerate them. Here is a small snippet on the use of psychotherapy for individuals with Histrionic Personality Disorder.
Thank you very much.
Now the treatment success for this disorder is mixed, I would agree with what you learned back in your school days, but it is still possible with those two types of therapies, which have the best success rate for treating personality disorders.
Anytime, is there anything else I can assist you with? I can recommend some books if you like as well
Glad I contacted you, we really considered Ritalin or something similar- not that she would have taken it!
Yeah I do not think that this was a sign of ADHD because like you said she was really good with tasks and keeping her focus. I think because this has occurred for a long time, it is a sign of a personality disorder.
Will pass on the message to the rest of the family.
Glad I can help you Lucille. My goal is to provide you with excellent service, so if you ever have any further questions or concerns please do not hesitate to contact me at anytime.