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Rafael M.T.Therapist
Rafael M.T.Therapist, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 3189
Experience:  MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
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I need to talk to someone.

Resolved Question:

I need to talk to someone.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Rafael M.T.Therapist replied 1 year ago.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Could you please join the chat for us to talk about your concern?

Customer:

hi

Customer:

I need to get urgent help

Customer:

I feel disappointed

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Please tell me about your concern

Customer:

I came to Australia 5 yrs ago , from Iran , and went through harassment at work, changed my workplace and wastreated unfairly again , but I worked had passed all exams and applied for higher rank jobs

Customer:

then I was promised a training position in a medical specialty if I did a job I did that

Customer:

and was told despite me being hardworking a panel membet didn't like me

Customer:

and I was told to work somewhere else for 6 months and to return

Customer:

I was arranged all of that

Customer:

and then I was given an offer interstate

Customer:

to come and work for a while and they were going to give me the job I wnated

Customer:

I accepted and moved

Customer:

and now they are not giving me the job they said they will

Customer:

and I've lost the chance that I had in the old state

Customer:

I feel like giving up

Customer:

they treat me poorly

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I am very sorry to know about this serious and overwhelming situation.

Customer:

I feel like there is a weakness in my personality that makes allows them to treat me like crap

Customer:

they bring me down

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

What you are describing here does not show any fault in your personality but very abusive people, from harassment to discrimination and dishonesty.

Customer:

My mother told me not to tell them treat me so poorly

Customer:

she told me to get help

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I cannot imagine how painful it could have been for you to relocate to this country so far away from your family and friends and undergo all these traumatic situations.

Customer:

yeah

Customer:

well no one cares

Customer:

I mean people who gave me the job don't care.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Don't you have any friends at work who have witnessed the harassment in the past and then the discrimination and manipulation you have undergone with current employer?

Customer:

in first job, yes

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

In Australia the law also protects people from abroad who suffer discrimination, abuse, harassment. They are never acceptable.

Customer:

I got lucky that some ppl realized and moved me from that situation, they had an abusive driector who refused stop harassing him

Customer:

they made him resign

Customer:

and moved me

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Did they help you to stop it, were you able to file a report and get a solution and fair treatment then?

Customer:

moved me to another hospital

Customer:

they made him resign but wanted me to keep quiet about me

Customer:

they blamed me

Customer:

they said my medic knowledge was poor, but the truth is that I had passed a medical exam before taking that job

Customer:

so my knowledge was good

Customer:

but i lost confidence to use ir

Customer:

it

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

This is unacceptable, really a nightmare, so they enabled the abuse and forced you to resign while protecting the perpetrator, right?

Customer:

so I did well in the second hospital

Customer:

they didn't force me to resign just moved me

Customer:

to another hospital

Customer:

in which I did well

Customer:

but I left that state

Customer:

there is something wrong in my personality

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

That's very sad, then you never reported the harassment and the abuse since they pushed you to resign, that's illegal and should never be allowed. I am sorry to know you were subject of such abuse.

Customer:

I have been through hell because of that, i just dont know what

Customer:

that was one of many

Customer:

I need to change soemthing about me

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

What about feedback from friend and family, what could that be, since what you are describing here shows no fault in your actions but discrimination, harassment and mistreatment.

Customer:

my sister told me that you get treated unfairly wherever you go, so t here must be something wrong with you

Customer:

it was clear harrasment

Customer:

but I blame myself

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Could you describe what happened for me to better understand it?

Customer:

why does it always have to be me

Customer:

yes

Customer:

I start with most recent case

Customer:

its not much of harrasment but false promise

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

OK

Customer:

they told me to come interstae and work for them

Customer:

and they were going to give me a training job when they had an opening in November

Customer:

I told them that I had a real chane in the other state

Customer:

they seemed really keen

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I see.

Customer:

I came and now they don't want to give the job to me

Customer:

they say they have better candiadatea

Customer:

that noone can promise me a job

Customer:

until it is sealed on the paper.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Did you get paperwork, a document with the job offer, or stating tat they were going to give you this other job once you come back?

Customer:

no

Customer:

they wouldn't do that

Customer:

I knew they wouldn't so I didn't ask for onw

Customer:

I'm such an idiot to take their word for it

Customer:

they said I'm not as good as the other registrar

Customer:

the truth is they treat me so poorly

Customer:

I have lost interest

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

That's a core problem. As you know from experience now, if your employer is not reliable and does not put on paper what they promise, they could state they never offer anything and you would have no way to protect yourself.

Customer:

I have a job , but they are not giving me waht they promised

Customer:

the training position that the lured me by to go interstate

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

This is very sad and frustrating for anybody in your shoes. perhaps what happened is that you have been too naive trusting these people, and they have taken advantage of that.

Customer:

its not the matter of legality

Customer:

this is about human relations

Customer:

interpersonal skills

Customer:

they were nice to until a week before interviews

Customer:

and suddenly they became vile

Customer:

I was so stressed

Customer:

I didn't have a back up plan

Customer:

and they could see me stressed and they would treat me poorly

Customer:

I m so done

Customer:

I feel deceived

Customer:

but I cant tell anyone

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Absolutely, there is no respect, accountability, even necessary maturity to work as adults, and that's why you need to be more proactive and not trust people that way, now you know that they could and would take advantage of yo if you allow them too. Obviously these people do not have your values, and trusting them would not help but expose you to new incidents.

Customer:

well

Customer:

they felt sorry about me

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Why not? You have your family, friends and good coworker

Customer:

and said they have another job coming up soon

Customer:

the bossed

Customer:

I have 6 of them

Customer:

all different personalities and expectations

Customer:

if one is unhappy , he/she will make sure others are too

Customer:

bosses

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Anybody in your shoes would get depressed, I would for sure, and that's why you cannot allow this to happen again, from now on be cautious and do not trust unless the person-company d=show they deserve and have gained your trust

Customer:

anyway , they said they might have another job coming up soon

Customer:

and if I do well they 'll give me an interview

Customer:

and may take me on for a few months to wait for the training position for which I have to apply , interview again

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

When the job environment is not healthy and friendly, even when you are good doing your job, it could become very stressful and frustrating, undermining everything.

Customer:

I can't do this anymore

Customer:

but i have no choice.

Customer:

yeah

Customer:

it undermines my ability to focus and I realized that I have started to make mistakes

Customer:

I never made mistakes bfoere

Customer:

they are minor

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Then please reassess your options here for you to choose what you truly believe is worthy and healthy for you, not only now but in the long run.

Customer:

but I don't like it at all.

Customer:

I don't want to give up on my dream of becoming a specialist

Customer:

and i need a job too

Customer:

I immigrated and now all myfirends in iran are married

Customer:

finished they specialist training

Customer:

and I am wrecked spinster

Customer:

who immigrated in the hope of a better life

Customer:

what a mirage

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Then it seems you need to work on it but with a more cautions and assertive approach in order to avoid being manipulated this much.

Customer:

I'm so tired

Customer:

but they want me to deliver more

Customer:

I'm not in to give more to people who disrespect their word

Customer:

but how can I tell them that

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

You need to set your health and well-being as a number one priority and set good boundaries too, in that way nobody would be able-allowed to use or abuse you.

Customer:

setting boundaries , how?

Customer:

I have to return to that place tomorrow

Customer:

and I just don't feel like it

Customer:

also I need to find a job

Customer:

a better one

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

When somebody promises you a job, ask for a document, something written showing they are giving you this new job after you comply with their requirements.

Customer:

also ....

Customer:

they gave me the job

Customer:

but not the real training one

Customer:

they couldn't do that

Customer:

so I took their word for it

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I support that, it seems absolutely worthy and even necessary to explore other options while having income, then once you get something better you can just move on.

Customer:

what do I do tomorrow

Customer:

I have 3 months to find another job

Customer:

and belive me they may not be better than this one

Customer:

its me I told me

Customer:

somthing is wring with me

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Only accept what you know would be good enough for you and not something that would undermine your career in the long run.

Customer:

I'm not sure what to do

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Do not leave your job without having got a better one first, taaht's essnetial

Customer:

Of course , that runs for 3 more months. I feel like leaving hospital system

Customer:

you don't know what a medical person life is like

Customer:

its so horrible

Customer:

the bosses can make you feel like crap any time of the day or night

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I suggest you to look for professional individual counseling where you could explore and process all these challenges and issues, get a clearer mind, and develop more skills for effective coping and for you to choose what is truly the best for you with professional support.

Customer:

Does that statement mean my session has come to an end?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Right, and that's a reality many if not most people in the filed have to afford, sad and frustrating but true

Customer:

what was that?

Customer:

can you explain please?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I think the best way for you to take good care of yourself, cope with these overwhelming situations and find out if there si something you can improve in yourself to make things work better for you is counseling.

Customer:

I know that.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

people in your field I meant

Customer:

but i wanted to have online councelling

Customer:

can't go one physically

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I see, then you have different options. Here there is a new program, you could try it.

Customer:

yes?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Please remember, on justanswer.com, your information is NOT confidential, but is public. But on pearl.etherapi.com, we can speak confidentially, over a secure network.

Customer:

right

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I am willing to support you there as possible https://pearl.etherapi.com/connectme/164

Customer:

right

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Taking into account the local limitations for you to get counseling.

Customer:

yes

Customer:

I'm so worried

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Please review the information there and feel free to schedule an appointment.

Customer:

can i log on to that network and continue talking?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I will be there available in two hours since have a session with another client in 5 minutes.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

We could meet in two hours from now

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Would that work for you?

Customer:

no mate

Customer:

I need to get some sleep and get some rest to face the music tomorrow

Customer:

I wish i never wake up

Customer:

anyway

Customer:

have a good time

Customer:

bye

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Then please rest and you would be able to keep working on it with a clearer mind tomorrow.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

You too, thank you for your trust.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Bye

Rafael M.T.Therapist, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 3189
Experience: MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
Rafael M.T.Therapist and 2 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

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Rafael M.T.Therapist
Rafael M.T.Therapist
Director / Psychotherapist
1851 Satisfied Customers
MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach