Have Mental Health Questions? Ask a Psychiatrist Online
Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).
Could you please join the chat for us to talk about your concern?
I need to get urgent help
I feel disappointed
Please tell me about your concern
I came to Australia 5 yrs ago , from Iran , and went through harassment at work, changed my workplace and wastreated unfairly again , but I worked had passed all exams and applied for higher rank jobs
then I was promised a training position in a medical specialty if I did a job I did that
and was told despite me being hardworking a panel membet didn't like me
and I was told to work somewhere else for 6 months and to return
I was arranged all of that
and then I was given an offer interstate
to come and work for a while and they were going to give me the job I wnated
I accepted and moved
and now they are not giving me the job they said they will
and I've lost the chance that I had in the old state
I feel like giving up
they treat me poorly
I am very sorry to know about this serious and overwhelming situation.
I feel like there is a weakness in my personality that makes allows them to treat me like crap
they bring me down
What you are describing here does not show any fault in your personality but very abusive people, from harassment to discrimination and dishonesty.
My mother told me not to tell them treat me so poorly
she told me to get help
I cannot imagine how painful it could have been for you to relocate to this country so far away from your family and friends and undergo all these traumatic situations.
well no one cares
I mean people who gave me the job don't care.
Don't you have any friends at work who have witnessed the harassment in the past and then the discrimination and manipulation you have undergone with current employer?
in first job, yes
In Australia the law also protects people from abroad who suffer discrimination, abuse, harassment. They are never acceptable.
I got lucky that some ppl realized and moved me from that situation, they had an abusive driector who refused stop harassing him
they made him resign
and moved me
Did they help you to stop it, were you able to file a report and get a solution and fair treatment then?
moved me to another hospital
they made him resign but wanted me to keep quiet about me
they blamed me
they said my medic knowledge was poor, but the truth is that I had passed a medical exam before taking that job
so my knowledge was good
but i lost confidence to use ir
This is unacceptable, really a nightmare, so they enabled the abuse and forced you to resign while protecting the perpetrator, right?
so I did well in the second hospital
they didn't force me to resign just moved me
to another hospital
in which I did well
but I left that state
there is something wrong in my personality
That's very sad, then you never reported the harassment and the abuse since they pushed you to resign, that's illegal and should never be allowed. I am sorry to know you were subject of such abuse.
I have been through hell because of that, i just dont know what
that was one of many
I need to change soemthing about me
What about feedback from friend and family, what could that be, since what you are describing here shows no fault in your actions but discrimination, harassment and mistreatment.
my sister told me that you get treated unfairly wherever you go, so t here must be something wrong with you
it was clear harrasment
but I blame myself
Could you describe what happened for me to better understand it?
why does it always have to be me
I start with most recent case
its not much of harrasment but false promise
they told me to come interstae and work for them
and they were going to give me a training job when they had an opening in November
I told them that I had a real chane in the other state
they seemed really keen
I came and now they don't want to give the job to me
they say they have better candiadatea
that noone can promise me a job
until it is sealed on the paper.
Did you get paperwork, a document with the job offer, or stating tat they were going to give you this other job once you come back?
they wouldn't do that
I knew they wouldn't so I didn't ask for onw
I'm such an idiot to take their word for it
they said I'm not as good as the other registrar
the truth is they treat me so poorly
I have lost interest
That's a core problem. As you know from experience now, if your employer is not reliable and does not put on paper what they promise, they could state they never offer anything and you would have no way to protect yourself.
I have a job , but they are not giving me waht they promised
the training position that the lured me by to go interstate
This is very sad and frustrating for anybody in your shoes. perhaps what happened is that you have been too naive trusting these people, and they have taken advantage of that.
its not the matter of legality
this is about human relations
they were nice to until a week before interviews
and suddenly they became vile
I was so stressed
I didn't have a back up plan
and they could see me stressed and they would treat me poorly
I m so done
I feel deceived
but I cant tell anyone
Absolutely, there is no respect, accountability, even necessary maturity to work as adults, and that's why you need to be more proactive and not trust people that way, now you know that they could and would take advantage of yo if you allow them too. Obviously these people do not have your values, and trusting them would not help but expose you to new incidents.
they felt sorry about me
Why not? You have your family, friends and good coworker
and said they have another job coming up soon
I have 6 of them
all different personalities and expectations
if one is unhappy , he/she will make sure others are too
Anybody in your shoes would get depressed, I would for sure, and that's why you cannot allow this to happen again, from now on be cautious and do not trust unless the person-company d=show they deserve and have gained your trust
anyway , they said they might have another job coming up soon
and if I do well they 'll give me an interview
and may take me on for a few months to wait for the training position for which I have to apply , interview again
When the job environment is not healthy and friendly, even when you are good doing your job, it could become very stressful and frustrating, undermining everything.
I can't do this anymore
but i have no choice.
it undermines my ability to focus and I realized that I have started to make mistakes
I never made mistakes bfoere
they are minor
Then please reassess your options here for you to choose what you truly believe is worthy and healthy for you, not only now but in the long run.
but I don't like it at all.
I don't want to give up on my dream of becoming a specialist
and i need a job too
I immigrated and now all myfirends in iran are married
finished they specialist training
and I am wrecked spinster
who immigrated in the hope of a better life
what a mirage
Then it seems you need to work on it but with a more cautions and assertive approach in order to avoid being manipulated this much.
I'm so tired
but they want me to deliver more
I'm not in to give more to people who disrespect their word
but how can I tell them that
You need to set your health and well-being as a number one priority and set good boundaries too, in that way nobody would be able-allowed to use or abuse you.
setting boundaries , how?
I have to return to that place tomorrow
and I just don't feel like it
also I need to find a job
a better one
When somebody promises you a job, ask for a document, something written showing they are giving you this new job after you comply with their requirements.
they gave me the job
but not the real training one
they couldn't do that
so I took their word for it
I support that, it seems absolutely worthy and even necessary to explore other options while having income, then once you get something better you can just move on.
what do I do tomorrow
I have 3 months to find another job
and belive me they may not be better than this one
its me I told me
somthing is wring with me
Only accept what you know would be good enough for you and not something that would undermine your career in the long run.
I'm not sure what to do
Do not leave your job without having got a better one first, taaht's essnetial
Of course , that runs for 3 more months. I feel like leaving hospital system
you don't know what a medical person life is like
its so horrible
the bosses can make you feel like crap any time of the day or night
I suggest you to look for professional individual counseling where you could explore and process all these challenges and issues, get a clearer mind, and develop more skills for effective coping and for you to choose what is truly the best for you with professional support.
Does that statement mean my session has come to an end?
Right, and that's a reality many if not most people in the filed have to afford, sad and frustrating but true
what was that?
can you explain please?
I think the best way for you to take good care of yourself, cope with these overwhelming situations and find out if there si something you can improve in yourself to make things work better for you is counseling.
I know that.
people in your field I meant
but i wanted to have online councelling
can't go one physically
I see, then you have different options. Here there is a new program, you could try it.
Please remember, on justanswer.com, your information is NOT confidential, but is public. But on pearl.etherapi.com, we can speak confidentially, over a secure network.
I am willing to support you there as possible https://pearl.etherapi.com/connectme/164
Taking into account the local limitations for you to get counseling.
I'm so worried
Please review the information there and feel free to schedule an appointment.
can i log on to that network and continue talking?
I will be there available in two hours since have a session with another client in 5 minutes.
We could meet in two hours from now
Would that work for you?
I need to get some sleep and get some rest to face the music tomorrow
I wish i never wake up
have a good time
Then please rest and you would be able to keep working on it with a clearer mind tomorrow.
You too, thank you for your trust.