Hello I believe I can help you with your concern
I am so sorry that you are feeling this way, I can imagine how distressing this must be for you
It definitely sounds like you are feeling hopeless right now, which can be a sign of depression. May I ask for what precipitating events are causing you to feel this way?
Also, may I ask how long have you been feeling this way?
A lot happened.
I was raped
I am so sorry, I cannot imagine how traumatizing that must have been for you
Beaten by my father and abused by my grandfather
I hate my life more than anything right now
I am so sorry. You mentioned that you have tried medications in the past, but have you been to see a therapist because I believe that you have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and therapist can be helpful in lessening these symptoms and helping you gain back control of your life.
I've gone through DBT I've been tosses from one counselor to another. Infact I jave yet a new one that has no idea what os going on with me. No one trys to help me. They get to a point and then toss me away just lile everyone else does
That is very unprofessional of them and I am sorry that they are doing that and making you feel that way. Have you tried going to a women's support group or a domestic abuse support group. This way there are other women there that have gone through gone through something similar and they can be a support network for you, so you do not feel like you have to go through this alone. In addition, I have found that the women at support groups know good therapists in the area that will help you and not "toss" you away like your previous therapists
I can also provide you with some self-help therapy books that will be beneficial to you, but I do think a support network would help you as well
I live in a small community. There aren't things like that. I just have to numb the pain- cutting
Well you do not have to numb the pain by cutting. Because you live in a small community, I can provide you with some resources for online therapy, that can be helpful for you.
I don't want to die
And that is a good thing, I do not want you to die either. What you went through was a horrible and traumatic experience that no one deserves to go through. But right now we have to focus on getting you better and on the road to recovery from this horrible trauma you endured. It will not be an easy journey, but I can promise you that you will be stronger afterwards.
I would also like to recommend these books for you as well
I can't do it alone anymore. No one wants to help me
I think online therapy can be very helpful for you because it seems like the therapists in your small community are not helping you, but these online therapists can be very valuable. Here are a couple links for you
These therapists are very qualified and can help support you so that you are not going through this alone
The rapist took my life so I don't have a job anymore
I am sorry to hear that, that is definitely not fair to you. These hotlines can help provide you with resources in your area that can be low cost for you or possibly free
The only reason I paid for this was because I needed toy to save me frome myself
How would you like me to save you from yourself?
Please tell me... these thoughts and feelings are normal
Please tell me the truth
I'm not crazy
After going through a trauma like you briefly described, they are definitely normal and expected. You are definitely not crazy, but I think you are hurt and that in order to heal from that emotional/psychological hurt it will take time with the right therapy and therapist.
The captain of the emergency squad that I worked for raped me...used his power and aboused me. I am the one that got fired and he got his job back
I'm a nothing. I don't matter. So why should me being here matter?
You do matter because you are a unique individual and no can take that away from you. I am sorry that this person did that to you, but that was his choice and not yours. With some of the tools that I provided for you, you can gain back control of your life again and show him and the world why you matter and why you are important because you do matter a lot!
I wish I felt like I do...I feel like a piece of dirt being kicked from one shoe to another. No one will take thetime to examine that piece of dirt, because tthat's all it is...dirt. I am just along for the ride. As I go I get kicked around stepped on grounded into a painful surface
And as time goes on I just start to crumble more. Nothing can put me back together
I'm starting to crumble
I know that is how you feel now, but that is not you. What you are feeling is the perception you have of yourself after what this man did to you. I want to help you gain a new perception of yourself that is more positive
I know that you do not want to go this alone, and I do not want you to go through this alone, that is why I am here for you right now
Then talk me out of it please...............I don't want to die
If you feel like you may hurt yourself, then you have to go to the hospital and get evaluated in person by a mental health professional. A therapist is only a guide to help you and support you through this, but 99 percent of the strength is in you and it is there, you just have to use the tools that I provided for you.
I want to help you, which is why I think seeing a therapist will be very beneficial for you. The online therapy is typically cheaper than face to face therapy, so that can be good option for you.
K sorry for being a bother
You are not being a bother at all!! Do not think that way, because I am here on chat I can only provide you with the tools that can help you.
No offense it doesn't help the loneliness
I know it does not, but the two hotline that I provided for you can help you find resources, likes groups in your area, but can also provide you with online groups, so that you do not feel alone
Ifd what to do right now. I can't stop crying..I'm shaking.
I want to cut so bad...
I know you do, but you have to go to your urgent care right away to protect yourself, because you are very valuable person that deserves protection and safety.
None thought about that when I was getting raped@
I think that you are valuable and you should think that too. If you go to the hospital, they will help you right now to prevent you from cutting yourself.
You must protect yourself physically, just as much mentally.
The journey of recovery from a trauma like you had will be long and hard, but I am positive that with the right treatment and support you will overcome this
Is there anything else I can do for you?
I really wish there was a simple trick to help you feel better right this second, but with effective therapy it does take time. But if you ever want to talk and discuss these issues, I am always here for you
In addition, I want to introduce you this technique that can help. CBT has a premise that your symptoms are caused by negative thoughts, so if we change your thought process to be more positive and objective as well, then your symptoms will lessen. So this link may help you, it contains a technique I use with patients called a thought record. It will help you keep track of any negative thoughts you have. You put the negative thought on paper, the emotion accompanying, the evidence to support it, and the evidence against it. Then I want you to come up with an alternative thought for the situation (more objective and plausible). This will help you change your way of thinking to be able to think more positive and not automatically go to a negative type of thinking.
In addition, these two worksheets are very good at helping lessen anticipatory anxiety/depression for PTSD and helping you focus on the big picture and the objective/positive thoughts and outcomes.
Also individuals with severe PTSD have a poor coping mechanism, so this worksheet will help you develop a better coping strategy to manage your symptoms better.
This worksheet is called a positive belief record that can help you replace your negative self-critical thoughts with more positive self-beliefs.