Seeking expert counseling is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.
I believe that I can help.
This man is keeping his true identity and circumstances hidden from you and this is somewhat suspicious
but he always give a listening ear
You know little about him for 5 years.
ya, i only came to know about his divorce this year
Giving a listening ear is easy to do .
Have you dated him?
for lunch or dinner only
Does he want to be intimate?
yes. he ever asked to go to a hotel this May before I came to know his divorce from his insurance fren
but i refused
i become emotionally attached to him
Do you think he may be a player and have several women in his life?
i only have him as my opposite gender fren
But he wants benefits.
he is a teacher at a famous junior college here
A great opportunity to meet women.
for the past 5 years I also try to expand my social circle to know more guys
but i only met conman
online fren who wants to ask for sex at first meet up
Why do you think he hides his past?
or my colleague and friend tried to introduce those very low skilled man to me
only when I asked him then he will say that
or else he will not automatically reveal his past
he is right also
ppl never ask he will never say
Someone who is hiding his past may be lying by omission.
This is a conman too.
what do you mean lying by ommission
Not telling the whole truth.
Omitting some of the truth.
I dont understand why I always meet those guys
conman in various form
I am a uni grad and an Accountant now
Because there are lots of players out there and you must appear to be too naive or trusting.
There ARE good men out there, but you have to learn about them carefully.
how to learn
i find that i always dont have luck in finding a life partner
Watch their eyes, their body language, and learn about their history. See how they treat servants or waiters or strangers or children or animals.
See if they are always checking out other women.
he is just like normal
he brought his gf or wife to attend the workshops
and when i questioned him he said they are just fren
Some people are narcissists and they are the best con men, the best liars, and they can fool most people.
but he has a decent master degree and work as noble teacher in famous school
You can tell by their body language what they are.
That has nothing to do with character or honesty.
i dont really know how to read body language
Observe the person and use your instincts and your emotional intelligence. Don't listen to words, use your feelings.
my feeling is he is a nice man
always give me a listening ear
as a fren
and wants to go to motel with you.
that is after we know about 5 yrs
ok la forget about this guy
my concern is how to find a decent life partner
tell you a bit of my past
I first tried to get a boyfriend when I was at high school
but my classmate rejected me
I went home to cry for the whole afternoon
then come to my college time
I also secretly admired a guy but only after one year I came to know he got gf
third one was when I graduated and went to church
and a church fren admired me..........
but I fall sick and diagnosed mental illness at that time
so I forced to leave the church and heading home
at that time I was very depressed by family life events ie late mom accident and hospitalisation for one month
then my brother onset of mental illness also
my dad got tyroid
my family biz collapsed
everything out of control
all these things I never told my 5 years guy fren
i also hiding sth
thought if we are partner i will reveal to him
What was your diagnosis?
i then left my country Malaysia to Singapore
Is it true?
and I have been treating this illness here for the past 10 yrs
and on recovery journey
psychiatrist and counselling
and medication? Which ones?
Do you have hallucinations?
yes. but no more now
everything in control
with monthly visit to counsellor
and quarterly visit to psychiatrist
Perhaps you were having hallucinations because of a great deal of anxiety or depression.
i got a mental history of 14 yrs
I have a very sad family
Do you still take risperdal?
Are you back in the church?
no. join other church
now I am very active in joining activities
to learn many things
You should go to a church where there are single men and lots of social occasions.
ie job related, family issue, opposite gender, health, etc
my church guys are mostly married at my age
i turn 40 this year
Workshops are good too for meeting men. Church is often a place to meet good people who have single relatives.
the thing is my church good fren, a lady, is also looking for man
she is 46
Are there nice places you can go together to meet men?
yes. but chance to meet conman also there
a govt dating agency
i already registered on 28thSept for a workshop
Go slowly with any new man until you get to know him well.
talk about how to attract opposite gender, successful relationship, marriage
3 talks in a day
in fact I have already joined the govt dating agency for the 8 yrs
Go to the workshops and you will find others who are looking for serious relationships.
as a platform to meet guys
Keep trying because someone wonderful will come into your life. You have to be patient. It is difficult.
used to meet various guys ie conman but not get cheated,
and meeting other eligible guys
All you can do is keep trying.
but often we do not develop further bec of different qualification, diff family background
i am the only degree holder in family
my 2 adopted brothers are casual labour
guy also look for my family background
one question here
i used to rely much on Christian friend last time
but these few years I learn much on psychology after i go to see counsellor
the CBT does help me a lot
so i keep explore into it
i find that psychology is easier to learn
and help me a lot in my life
in term of improving colleague relationship, handling family issue, opposite gender relationship
And it will help with self-confidence and the ability to meet good men.
after seeing counsellor I become stable in current job for the past 5 yrs
maintain a friendship with this guy for 5 yrs
i used to change more than 20 employers in my 10 years working life
after 10 years of low pay and frequent changing of job, no opposite gender fren
now i got a stable job
my counsellor doing a wonderful job for me
Seem that you are lucky with a good one.
in my journey of looking for life partner for the past 20 yrs
i encounter a lot of frustration
keep trying until i scare not to go for it
You are not alone.
i know if i am with someone right i can do much better in my life
You cannot hurry love.
You are right but have not yet met Mr Right.
dont kow when can i meet the one
already 20 yrs
You are trying. That is all you can do.
Are you looking online as well?
scare of online scam
Maybe you should.
i used to encounter this and reported police
i rather meet someone in person
during the workshops
i dont like online fren
You can try
ya i know this
i already disappointed
why none of the good guys will attract to me
If you quit looking then you will never find anyone.
If they don't attract you then don't date them.
It is hard for a good woman or a good man to find someone.
so far only those man like physical handicapped pastor, mentally ill but low skilled worker, autism uni grad confess to me
is it bec of my self image
why only these guys come to me
whom I dont want
If you don't love yourself nobody else will.
Try this book
This is the link for USA puchase but you can buy it world wide:
i will go to bookstore to find this book
I shall keep you in my prayers.
Warm regards XXXXX XXXXX
we shall end here
Thank you so much, then. I wish you God's blessings and good fortune.
Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC