This is a question I've been afraid to ask for some time now because it concerns my boyfriend who I've been in love with for about 3 years now. He is one of the smartest, most caring men I've ever met and in many aspects we have a really wonderful relationship.
However he has a huge problem with commitment, not just to me, but to anything, that is really beginning to scare me. We live in Los Angeles and his father is a very famous actor and not just a working actor but an Oscar winning movie star. I feel like he has spent his whole like trying to gain the approval of his dad, which is hard to do when you compare everything you do to one of the more famous people in the world.
This has become a borderline obsession with him and he is constantly trying to break into the business, but having lived off a trust fund much of his life, just doesn't have very good skills at following through on things and tends to give up as soon as there's a roadblock, which makes me wonder if it really is important or just a distraction? I could even handle that but he doesn't allow himself to enjoy any other parts of his life in the meantime, everything from talking about the possibility of a family with me to us getting a dog seems to terrify him and he answers almost every question with "I'll think about it" and gets upset when I press him for an answer or even just to have a conversation about any aspect of the future.
He's very slow to make decisions of any sort no matter how small and is oddly OCD about letting me sleep over at his home or coming into mine at all, even though we sleep together all the time when we travel, which we often do.
I know this all sounds a little crazy and most women wouldn't probably given up years ago but I myself have OCD and I recognize something in his behavior that goes beyond just male non-commitment. I've dealt with that before but this doesn't feel the same, this time I feel like he really does care about me but just can't explain all these odd quirks he has, a feeling I myself know well from dealing with OCD for years.
I'm not even asking for how to fix it because I imagine that would take a whole other conversation but can you give me any hints at all about if his behavior could be due to some kind of psychological phobia or anxiety
problem? I feel like just understanding what was going on in his head would help a lot. Thanks.