Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).
I am very sorry to know about this overwhelming situation.
No matter how much a person may try to justify this pattern of dysfunctional behavior, it's obvious how distorted his personality and behavior had got, and this is not about an isolated episode, an accident, but a very serious issue happening for long period of time.
I do not guess about people, there is no way to know for sure which disorders he may have based on your story. It"d take a close evaluation to find out, but I can say that these issues are rooted in personality disorders, that the person knows very well what he's bee doing, and that he may have felt empowered by his neglectful and abusive actions.
It's about dishonesty and manipulation, and a morbid pleasure from betraying a person in your shoes, who has invested affection, trust an part of her life in a relationship for this long.
I can see you have been in the chat but without replying, and it seems obvious to me that it is the chat's technical problems what may have been limiting our communication. I'd change from chat to postings in order to make sure we can dialogue.