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Dr. Z
Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 10547
Experience:  Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
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My husband has been working out of town for quite a few years.

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My husband has been working out of town for quite a few years. He usually comes home every other weekend. About 6 months ago he had a terrible bout with depression. The doctor finally found meds that seem to help him. He is on Lexapro 2X daily. Since being on this med he seems totally different. He recently told me he was thinking about asking a coworker to move in with him because she has to commute over an hour each way. He also joined a golf league with work. The same girl is on his team and pictures are taken weekly for work bulletin board at work. He liked one of the pictures of the two of them and told me he was going to frame it for his apartment. We have been married for 39 years and he has never acted this way before. The coworker is 27 years old, my husband is 57. Something is definitely different. Could it be his meds or is he having an emotional affair with this girl?

Dr. Z. :

Hello I believe I can help you with your concern

Dr. Z. :

It is true that Lexapro is one of the best SSRI antidepressants for treating and depression and this would explain his improvement in behavior, but I agree with your concern that he may be having an emotional affair or possibly a physical affair with this woman as the Lexapro would not account for a certain fascination with one person like this.

Dr. Z. :

In fact there are more reports of Lexapro causing impotency or decreased libido then causing an attraction to one particular person.

Dr. Z. :

It is possible that the medications are causing him to feel good and wanting to explore a relationship wish someone, albeit an emotional relationship, and this is why he is acting in this way


I confronted him abt this, he denies it. Things seem to be getting worse between us, we fight constantly on the phone and the distance between us isn't helping much. He said he's willing to go to counseling even though he feels we don't need it. I really don't know what to do. My gut feeling is something is going on between them. They took a business trip together. My husband had to fly a day early, but he picked her up from airport and they went to dinner. He said he wouldn't tell me these things if something was going on.

Dr. Z. :

It is true that he would not usually tell you if something is going on between them, but for men they usually do not believe an emotional affair is cheating and this is why he may not understand the ramifications of his actions. But it is a positive sign that he is willing to go to counseling to talk about it.

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