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Dr. Z
Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5113
Experience:  Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
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For doctorZ only,,hi sorry i couldnt get the chat to work so

Customer Question

For doctorZ only,,hi sorry i couldnt get the chat to work so i was going to try opening a new one if u r here?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.

Dr. Z. :

Hi Lauren, I am sorry that the chat was not working for you before.

Dr. Z. :

Technical glitches happen though

Dr. Z. :

How are you?

Customer:

hi , i'm ok i got thru it anyway

Customer:

it is like u thought with the healing proccess,,,, but it was reallly painfull i know he was trying to b careful tho , there wasnt a female dr there but a nurse came in to

Dr. Z. :

I am sorry that there was not a female doctor, still I am glad that your requested a female nurse be present. So everything is okay physically?

Customer:

yeah just really the bruising and tears he was very concernd that my boyfreind was in jail,, he said like i was told it was violent, he also took time to tell me about where the injurys were and why it was so painfull, but everything will be normal when healed

Dr. Z. :

And how did it feel, emotionally, when he was telling you this?

Customer:

it gave me some more relief, im less anxiouus he did give me medicine tho for that until i can see my dr

Dr. Z. :

That is good, he sounds like he was a really good doctor that genuinely cared for you. I am glad you went and got some relief that everything will feel normal again when you heal.

Customer:

he did seem to care alot but it did help havin the nurse there too,, that part was bad , the exam was, but like i said i know he was trying hard not to make it that way

Dr. Z. :

I understand, I am sorry that you did have to go through the examination, but I did want to make sure that you were physically healthy.

Customer:

yeah and im glad u told me to do it or i would never b able to sleep tonite, the medicne is helping alittle now too i took one

Dr. Z. :

What was the medicine he prescribed for you?

Customer:

it says ativan

Dr. Z. :

Yeah that was the medicine I recommended for you, its a benzodiazepine. They are very effective for anxiety and they have sedation properties to help you sleep too

Customer:

is tht one good for this ?

Customer:

oh jus saw wht u wrote

Dr. Z. :

It is very fast acting and you usually see the effects within an hour or two. Now if you use it for a long period of time, it is a physically addicting medication, so you have to wean off the medication and should never stop it cold turkey. But if you use it once in a while as needed, then you will definitely not have this problem at all

Customer:

i dont want to use it very much then,, i want to keep tryin these other ways u have shown me

Dr. Z. :

No problem, the techniques and books will definitely help you. Also if you want to try using natural supplements. St. Johns Wort, Omega-3 (Fish Oil), Valerian Root, and Glutamate are good natural supplements you can use as well to help reduce depression and anxiety.

Customer:

i really havent slept tho, my eyes look like they r starting to have black circles, i know im really feeling kinda ugly right now and not eating

Customer:

but when i try to eat i feel sick a llot of the time

Dr. Z. :

I am so sorry, that is the depressive and anxiety symptoms causing you to not sleep well and not eat. You are not ugly at all I bet, you just went through a traumatic experience and you are not feeling like yourself.

Customer:

no i dont feel like what i normally did at all, i hope it goes away soon, i keep taking showers thats prob weird to

Customer:

im not acting like mysellf either

Dr. Z. :

No its not weird, you feel, and do not take this the wrong way "unclean" like he spoiled you in a way because of what he did to you. These feelings you are having will go away, but it will take time. You are not acting like yourself because this trauma had a big effect on you and you need time to heal. I bet using the Ativan tonight will help you sleep though, even though you did get a low dose probably.

Dr. Z. :

The techniques and therapy take time to help you heal, which is why I recommended the medicine for some immediate relief, until the techniques start to be effective for you.

Customer:

yeah u said it exactlyy how i feel i dont take that the wrong way at all, unclean is a good way to put it,,, also i kept feeling like he has ruined me an i have been thinking who would ever want to b with me now.,,but it was good to hear tonite from the dr that it atlest physically go back to normal

Customer:

the dose says 5 no, 0.5 mg

Dr. Z. :

That is a very low dosage, no worries there. Remember what I told you the other night, you will meet a guy that will understand and respect you. He will take it slow with you because he is the kind of the guy that just wants you to be comfortable. I know it doesnt feel that way now, but one day you are going to realize that he did not ruin you and that you are stronger than that, and that you will overcome this because you are a strong individual.

Customer:

it helps that u tell me that cuz youre right it doesnt feel that way now but i beleive u

Customer:

i have told just 2 people my friend that im staying with and another friend who i couldnt talk to while i was with my boyfriend cuz hes a guy

Customer:

i hav never been a mean person i dont think but i feel like thats all i was to him today when he was texting me

Customer:

i hav no reason to be angry at him

Dr. Z. :

You are just angry at him because he is a guy and all those feelings of anger your want to give your ex-boyfriend you cannot so you are displacing them to this other guy.

Dr. Z. :

It happens sometimes, and it is perfectly natural

Customer:

ok i see,,,,i feel bad and then i do it again to him but he is so good he is just letting me do it and ignores it

Dr. Z. :

Most likely he understands, if you apologize and explain to him that you may do it to him in the future because of displacement, I am sure he will understand further and help you through this

Customer:

ok yeah i will try to explain tht to him then i dont want to keep doing that its not fair i know, he is trying to get me to go do something outside of this house but after the other day at the restarant i dont really want to

Customer:

i just dont feel safe i guess

Customer:

and im not sure whats happening yet with my boyfriend i jus know hes still in jail

Customer:

they r supposed to tell me if he gets out

Dr. Z. :

Do you realize you are still calling him your boyfriend? If you do not feel safe, that is understandable and you should take it slow, especially during the first two weeks, but your should not hermit though either.

Dr. Z. :

The police will definitely tell you when he gets out, it is a part of the rape shield laws in most states.

Customer:

yeah your right i am still saying that im not sure why

Customer:

now my friend has been tellin me all the things that were bad about him that she didnt tell me when we were together , and tht is actually helping

Dr. Z. :

That is good that is helping, they are trying to be supportive the best way that they can.

Dr. Z. :

I think you should go out here and there, but nothing big yet with a lot of people. And I think you should go to outdoor things for the first couple weeks, because sometimes crowded places can trigger a panic attack.

Customer:

so go out wher to start? u r saying i should do outdoor things maybe? what kind of thngs?

Dr. Z. :

Well like coffee, resteraunts, bbq, etc... as you can do these things outdoors. Or if the place is not very crowded then you can do it indoors too.

Dr. Z. :

I just do not want to see you be a hermit because while you will be safe if you do not live your home, you will also not be living though

Customer:

theres a big football game tomorrw here so im def not going anywhere it gets crowded here but yeah i see what your saying,, i dont want to be so the only place im comforable is home

Dr. Z. :

It will take some time for the anxiety to go away, but you will get there. Just take it one step at a time and do not push yourself unless you feel ready

Customer:

ok that is good i will just try small things maybe next wk.,, i think the med is working i am feeling it

Customer:

how long does it last ? im feelin kinda strange too

Dr. Z. :

Describe strange for me?

Customer:

like im sort of feeling mellow but kinda dizzy too

Dr. Z. :

Dizziness is a side effect, especially your first time using it. This is why I always recommend patients to use it at night the first time because the dizziness and drowsiness can be strong for some people.

Customer:

ok good im glad thats the med then

Dr. Z. :

Yeah dizziness, drowsiness, difficulty concentrating are all common side effects of the medication. If you take it consistently, these side effects become less and less as you get used the to the medication.

Customer:

ok yeah the concentrating i was alreaddy having some problems wth but i am havin that prob even more right now

Customer:

atleast maybe i will slleep at some point with this medicine an then mayb not feel so not pretty as i do right now.

Dr. Z. :

Lauren, you are pretty do not ever think that about yourself. Just inside you do not feel as pretty because of what happened, but this is only your perception and it is not accurate due to the trauma. It will get better for you, and I think the Ativan should help a lot. If you want you can split the pill and take another half if you need some extra help in going to sleep.

Customer:

i dont want to think that but it is just there, and then i think all over again who would wantto b with me, i know its not healthy or good but i wish i could stop the circles my mind goes in, i will take anotherr half i want to sleep so im not thinking so much

Dr. Z. :

I know it is tough right now for you and healing will not be an easy journey for you at times, but I am confident that you will make this journey and that you will become stronger than before. The feeling that no one will want you is a negative thought. Try to focus on objective and positive thoughts, like you will get past this trauma, you will become stronger than before this incident, and you will meet someone that respects you the way you deserve. I know it is hard to think positively, but if you try to focus on that, it will improve your mood

Customer:

ok i will try that ,, if u think i will make it an be stronger then i will beleive it to, u said u wouldnt steer me wrong an i beleive u, this really isnt me i am actually never like this so negative, i am going to work on that

Dr. Z. :

Trauma can cause a pessimistic view of the world. Right now you are going through a rehabilitation process of your psyche and while that will take time, it can also cause you to become stronger than before. You will have to be patient during this and there will be some rough patches, but you will heal and there will be a lot more positive than negative during this process.

Dr. Z. :

The point of the therapy and the techniques is to empower you and bring you control again.

Customer:

i see .., i would like controll again thts for sure, im glad there is a way which meanns there is hope, thank u for giving that to me

Dr. Z. :

Anytime, but 99 percent of this is all you. You are the one with the strength, I am just a guide :)

Customer:

well a good guide then :)

Dr. Z. :

Thanks, XXXXX XXXXX just happy to help you with your healing process

Customer:

wow ok i thin the extra hallf is alreadyw orking i think i can sleep now

Dr. Z. :

Thats good, I am glad it is helping you. I told you it was a very powerful medication

Customer:

thank u for all your help.., yeah its really crazy cuz i really havnt been this tired all week

Dr. Z. :

Well you are exhausted, and that does accumulate over time. Your body can only take so much. I hope you finally get a great nights sleep tonight, you deserve it

Customer:

thank u drZ i wil go to bed now then

Dr. Z. :

Considering its past 1AM over there in WV, I think that would be a good idea. I am glad we got the opportunity to speak more tonight

Customer:

yeah wow it is already past 1 i am it goes fast when i talk to u,, i am very glad too, hope u hav a great nite too , in ? , not sure where u r, :)

Dr. Z. :

I am in California actually, so it is not too late over here. I hope you have a great night and upcoming weekend. If you need anything, do not hesitate to contact me Lauren :)

Customer:

ok , thank u, i will :) nite

Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5113
Experience: Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
Dr. Z and 3 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.
Thank you very much for the positive review and very generous bonus Lauren, I truly appreciate it a lot!! I hope you have a wonderful upcoming weekend and if you need me for anything, please do not hesitate to ask.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Hi doctorZ,,,I guess this really isn’t a follw up ?, more jus an update to let u know I have re read (& re read) and thought about and everythin we talked about and am feeling very determined rite now to really overcome all of this,,,,today my friend that im living with took me to go get manicures/pedi as she knows what ive been thinkin about myself and my selfesteem and wht my EX boyfriend did that’s making me feel not very pretty anymore,, and anyway I re read what u told me about it being about how I feel on the inside after this happened and your right, I don’t feel right, I feel unclean stil & I know that’s just one of the many weird thoughts in my head. Sorry I’m rambling I know, what im trying to say is I got up the courage to go out t oday and now im glad I did because the mani/pedi did make me feel better and im not sure that would’ve happened without all your encouragement & I wantd to tell you thank u : ) Lauren

Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.
Hi Lauren,

That is great to hear that you went out and got the mani/pedi and that it helped to make you feel better. It will take time, but you are doing the right thing taking one step at a time and going slow. I am happy that I gave you the encouragement to do that, but remember you had the strength in you to do this, I was just your guide. I am very proud of you Lauren, you are doing great :)
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.
Oh and keep the updates upcoming, I love to hear that you are doing well :)
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

hi doctorZ,,,


it has been exactlly a wk now an this was a rough day but got thru it. in the afternoon i tried to just go for a walk with my guy friend outdoors on the rail trail which goes by the river here but eveytime joggers came up behind us it was freakin me out so we turned around but atlaset i got out i guess?


im not sure wht this is about but im rememmbering more & more now, stuf i dont want to remember is coming back to me that im not sure i might need to tell them about tomorrow? although dont want to


Lauren


 

Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.
Hi Lauren,

Congratulations on getting through the week, I know this week has not been easy for you, and today must have been a difficult day for you. But you got through it and I am very proud of you taking small steps on your road to treatment. It will be a long journey, but you are very strong and you have a good support structure of friends by your side, which will help you immensely.

What you are describing with the joggers is called hyper-vigilance, this is where you are always on edge and very tense and react to every external stimuli that causes an overexageration reaction. This is related to anxiety and PTSD. But you are right by looking at the positive and saying that it was good that you went out.

Sometimes victims will remember more of the incident as time goes on because the trauma of the incident is starting to allow you access to those memories. I am assuming that you mean you are not sure if you want to tell the police about these new memories that you are having, when you say them. I understand that you do not want to tell the police about these new memories because that can re-traumatize you and bring you back to the incident that started this, but I think it would be important to tell them and give them all the information possible to convict him. Now the extra information may or may not help with their investigation and prosecution, but I think its important for you not to keep it in, for your owns psychological health, and also for police to decide what may or may not be important for their case.

When these new memories come back, remember to focus on the present and focus on not what happened in the past, but you are going to become and not let this define you. Remember you are Lauren and you are someone that can decide their own future, you have more control than you think. You keep focusing on the present and how you are going to become stronger from this, will make those memories not as traumatic to you because you will realize that is not you now and that while you went through a traumatic event, you do not have to be traumatized now.

I wish you the best of luck Lauren and I hope you continue to see lots of progress during your second week because I have seen a lot of progress during your first week :)

I

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