Hi Lauren, I am sorry that the chat was not working for you before.
Technical glitches happen though
How are you?
hi , i'm ok i got thru it anyway
it is like u thought with the healing proccess,,,, but it was reallly painfull i know he was trying to b careful tho , there wasnt a female dr there but a nurse came in to
I am sorry that there was not a female doctor, still I am glad that your requested a female nurse be present. So everything is okay physically?
yeah just really the bruising and tears he was very concernd that my boyfreind was in jail,, he said like i was told it was violent, he also took time to tell me about where the injurys were and why it was so painfull, but everything will be normal when healed
And how did it feel, emotionally, when he was telling you this?
it gave me some more relief, im less anxiouus he did give me medicine tho for that until i can see my dr
That is good, he sounds like he was a really good doctor that genuinely cared for you. I am glad you went and got some relief that everything will feel normal again when you heal.
he did seem to care alot but it did help havin the nurse there too,, that part was bad , the exam was, but like i said i know he was trying hard not to make it that way
I understand, I am sorry that you did have to go through the examination, but I did want to make sure that you were physically healthy.
yeah and im glad u told me to do it or i would never b able to sleep tonite, the medicne is helping alittle now too i took one
What was the medicine he prescribed for you?
it says ativan
Yeah that was the medicine I recommended for you, its a benzodiazepine. They are very effective for anxiety and they have sedation properties to help you sleep too
is tht one good for this ?
oh jus saw wht u wrote
It is very fast acting and you usually see the effects within an hour or two. Now if you use it for a long period of time, it is a physically addicting medication, so you have to wean off the medication and should never stop it cold turkey. But if you use it once in a while as needed, then you will definitely not have this problem at all
i dont want to use it very much then,, i want to keep tryin these other ways u have shown me
No problem, the techniques and books will definitely help you. Also if you want to try using natural supplements. St. Johns Wort, Omega-3 (Fish Oil), Valerian Root, and Glutamate are good natural supplements you can use as well to help reduce depression and anxiety.
i really havent slept tho, my eyes look like they r starting to have black circles, i know im really feeling kinda ugly right now and not eating
but when i try to eat i feel sick a llot of the time
I am so sorry, that is the depressive and anxiety symptoms causing you to not sleep well and not eat. You are not ugly at all I bet, you just went through a traumatic experience and you are not feeling like yourself.
no i dont feel like what i normally did at all, i hope it goes away soon, i keep taking showers thats prob weird to
im not acting like mysellf either
No its not weird, you feel, and do not take this the wrong way "unclean" like he spoiled you in a way because of what he did to you. These feelings you are having will go away, but it will take time. You are not acting like yourself because this trauma had a big effect on you and you need time to heal. I bet using the Ativan tonight will help you sleep though, even though you did get a low dose probably.
The techniques and therapy take time to help you heal, which is why I recommended the medicine for some immediate relief, until the techniques start to be effective for you.
yeah u said it exactlyy how i feel i dont take that the wrong way at all, unclean is a good way to put it,,, also i kept feeling like he has ruined me an i have been thinking who would ever want to b with me now.,,but it was good to hear tonite from the dr that it atlest physically go back to normal
the dose says 5 no, 0.5 mg
That is a very low dosage, no worries there. Remember what I told you the other night, you will meet a guy that will understand and respect you. He will take it slow with you because he is the kind of the guy that just wants you to be comfortable. I know it doesnt feel that way now, but one day you are going to realize that he did not ruin you and that you are stronger than that, and that you will overcome this because you are a strong individual.
it helps that u tell me that cuz youre right it doesnt feel that way now but i beleive u
i have told just 2 people my friend that im staying with and another friend who i couldnt talk to while i was with my boyfriend cuz hes a guy
i hav never been a mean person i dont think but i feel like thats all i was to him today when he was texting me
i hav no reason to be angry at him
You are just angry at him because he is a guy and all those feelings of anger your want to give your ex-boyfriend you cannot so you are displacing them to this other guy.
It happens sometimes, and it is perfectly natural
ok i see,,,,i feel bad and then i do it again to him but he is so good he is just letting me do it and ignores it
Most likely he understands, if you apologize and explain to him that you may do it to him in the future because of displacement, I am sure he will understand further and help you through this
ok yeah i will try to explain tht to him then i dont want to keep doing that its not fair i know, he is trying to get me to go do something outside of this house but after the other day at the restarant i dont really want to
i just dont feel safe i guess
and im not sure whats happening yet with my boyfriend i jus know hes still in jail
they r supposed to tell me if he gets out
Do you realize you are still calling him your boyfriend? If you do not feel safe, that is understandable and you should take it slow, especially during the first two weeks, but your should not hermit though either.
The police will definitely tell you when he gets out, it is a part of the rape shield laws in most states.
yeah your right i am still saying that im not sure why
now my friend has been tellin me all the things that were bad about him that she didnt tell me when we were together , and tht is actually helping
That is good that is helping, they are trying to be supportive the best way that they can.
I think you should go out here and there, but nothing big yet with a lot of people. And I think you should go to outdoor things for the first couple weeks, because sometimes crowded places can trigger a panic attack.
so go out wher to start? u r saying i should do outdoor things maybe? what kind of thngs?
Well like coffee, resteraunts, bbq, etc... as you can do these things outdoors. Or if the place is not very crowded then you can do it indoors too.
I just do not want to see you be a hermit because while you will be safe if you do not live your home, you will also not be living though
theres a big football game tomorrw here so im def not going anywhere it gets crowded here but yeah i see what your saying,, i dont want to be so the only place im comforable is home
It will take some time for the anxiety to go away, but you will get there. Just take it one step at a time and do not push yourself unless you feel ready
ok that is good i will just try small things maybe next wk.,, i think the med is working i am feeling it
how long does it last ? im feelin kinda strange too
Describe strange for me?
like im sort of feeling mellow but kinda dizzy too
Dizziness is a side effect, especially your first time using it. This is why I always recommend patients to use it at night the first time because the dizziness and drowsiness can be strong for some people.
ok good im glad thats the med then
Yeah dizziness, drowsiness, difficulty concentrating are all common side effects of the medication. If you take it consistently, these side effects become less and less as you get used the to the medication.
ok yeah the concentrating i was alreaddy having some problems wth but i am havin that prob even more right now
atleast maybe i will slleep at some point with this medicine an then mayb not feel so not pretty as i do right now.
Lauren, you are pretty do not ever think that about yourself. Just inside you do not feel as pretty because of what happened, but this is only your perception and it is not accurate due to the trauma. It will get better for you, and I think the Ativan should help a lot. If you want you can split the pill and take another half if you need some extra help in going to sleep.
i dont want to think that but it is just there, and then i think all over again who would wantto b with me, i know its not healthy or good but i wish i could stop the circles my mind goes in, i will take anotherr half i want to sleep so im not thinking so much
I know it is tough right now for you and healing will not be an easy journey for you at times, but I am confident that you will make this journey and that you will become stronger than before. The feeling that no one will want you is a negative thought. Try to focus on objective and positive thoughts, like you will get past this trauma, you will become stronger than before this incident, and you will meet someone that respects you the way you deserve. I know it is hard to think positively, but if you try to focus on that, it will improve your mood
ok i will try that ,, if u think i will make it an be stronger then i will beleive it to, u said u wouldnt steer me wrong an i beleive u, this really isnt me i am actually never like this so negative, i am going to work on that
Trauma can cause a pessimistic view of the world. Right now you are going through a rehabilitation process of your psyche and while that will take time, it can also cause you to become stronger than before. You will have to be patient during this and there will be some rough patches, but you will heal and there will be a lot more positive than negative during this process.
The point of the therapy and the techniques is to empower you and bring you control again.
i see .., i would like controll again thts for sure, im glad there is a way which meanns there is hope, thank u for giving that to me
Anytime, but 99 percent of this is all you. You are the one with the strength, I am just a guide :)
well a good guide then :)
Thanks, XXXXX XXXXX just happy to help you with your healing process
wow ok i thin the extra hallf is alreadyw orking i think i can sleep now
Thats good, I am glad it is helping you. I told you it was a very powerful medication
thank u for all your help.., yeah its really crazy cuz i really havnt been this tired all week
Well you are exhausted, and that does accumulate over time. Your body can only take so much. I hope you finally get a great nights sleep tonight, you deserve it
thank u drZ i wil go to bed now then
Considering its past 1AM over there in WV, I think that would be a good idea. I am glad we got the opportunity to speak more tonight
yeah wow it is already past 1 i am it goes fast when i talk to u,, i am very glad too, hope u hav a great nite too , in ? , not sure where u r, :)
I am in California actually, so it is not too late over here. I hope you have a great night and upcoming weekend. If you need anything, do not hesitate to contact me Lauren :)
ok , thank u, i will :) nite
Hi doctorZ,,,I guess this really isn’t a follw up ?, more jus an update to let u know I have re read (& re read) and thought about and everythin we talked about and am feeling very determined rite now to really overcome all of this,,,,today my friend that im living with took me to go get manicures/pedi as she knows what ive been thinkin about myself and my selfesteem and wht my EX boyfriend did that’s making me feel not very pretty anymore,, and anyway I re read what u told me about it being about how I feel on the inside after this happened and your right, I don’t feel right, I feel unclean stil & I know that’s just one of the many weird thoughts in my head. Sorry I’m rambling I know, what im trying to say is I got up the courage to go out t oday and now im glad I did because the mani/pedi did make me feel better and im not sure that would’ve happened without all your encouragement & I wantd to tell you thank u : ) Lauren
it has been exactlly a wk now an this was a rough day but got thru it. in the afternoon i tried to just go for a walk with my guy friend outdoors on the rail trail which goes by the river here but eveytime joggers came up behind us it was freakin me out so we turned around but atlaset i got out i guess?
im not sure wht this is about but im rememmbering more & more now, stuf i dont want to remember is coming back to me that im not sure i might need to tell them about tomorrow? although dont want to