Thank you for the time to read this, I really appreciate it. I am writing with reference to my ex boyfriend, with whom I broke up a month ago. I broke up with him due to lifestyle differences, goals and also because I saw reactions and behaviors in him that made me not feel comfortable in the relationship. By taking this distance from him, I now can see more clearly that deep down I left the relationship because of the things he said that happened to him. He said that his father hit him severly when he was a child, being a very strict and conservative christian. He also mentioned that he did
not get any kind of affection from either his father or mother, and he resents them for that. But what is disturbing is the fact that his brother also mistreated him and was later diagnosed with bipoler disorder. And he told me that when he was approximately 3 years old he was convinced that his parents were not his real, biological parents and told them that his real parents lived in China and wanted to reunite with them. That behavior went on for months, until his parents sought professional help, and supposedly the psychologist said it was a phase he was going through, but nothing major. Another thing that concerned me is that he says he has always have sleeping
problems, but he does not want to take sleeping pills because he does not want to become dependent on them. Honestly, he does not have a job for the past year, and he sleeps at different times, not at a consistent schedule, which to me is quite weird. The other thing is he suffered from what may be panick attacks because he said a few years ago, before he started exercising he would feel short of breath and thought that might be something like a panick attack or not. Then, it seems that he has hallucinations, where he sees spiders but when he was once at home he said he saw one, which was not the case. He also stated that he often wakes up with "weir marks on his body", for no apparent reason, and then the marks go away on their own. I honestly didn't think he had a problem at first, but recently I've seen contradictory statements about his parents, work, he is constantly changing his thoughts about everything, which is startling to me. Some days he says his family doesn't like him, and then he says they are the best people he has known ???
When he told me how his dad abused him physically, I said I was sorry that he was abused, and at that moment he turned things around and defended his father's behavior saying "he did that because that way I would not do bad things anymore". Also, he was raised in the middle of the country and stated that his parents never invited anyone at home and he didn't have friends to play at his house/their house. In sum, I think he really needs professional help and feel bad about not being there to support him. But I am a single mom and chose to end the relationship because I know helping him goes beyond my capacity and I don't want to get hurt either. My question is, should I tell him as a friend that I think it would be good for him to see a psychologist? Would that be positive, or should I stay away from him?
Thank you so much for your time.