I have a 14 year old daughter who is having difficultly getting up and going to school everyday.
On days that she managers to get to school, she will suffer from a panic
attack then be unable to complete a full day of classes. We've tried on several occasions get her to see a therapist, unfortunately she refuses to see any therapist. Even when a therapist agrees to come to our home, my daughter will lock herself in her bedroom and refuse to speak to anyone.
This has been going on for the past two years. Her mother is at her wit's end. If she can't get our daughter to go back to school on a regular basis within the next month, she plans to send her away to residency school for children with metal disorders. I should also mention that during this two year period, our daughter was diagnosed as being bipolar
. Medication was proscribe.
What happened two years ago: Shortly before our daughter's 12th birthday, our home was raided by the police. It seems that my now ex-wife had sexually molested one of her severely autistic clients. A client that she provided "facilitated communication". This autistic person can not speak on his own without the assistant of my wife and her keyboard. Through this method, she fell in love with this retard man, and had sex with him. Unfortunate for her, in New Jersey, it is a felony to have sex with someone who is legally declared mentally incompetent. The details of this sexual relationship was written in the police search warrant. Our children, (son and daughter) were just coming home from school at the time of the police raid. In the confusion, the warrant was left on the kitchen counter. The children read the warrant. We immediately sat the children down to have a family discussion about what had happened, but our daughter refused to talk about it. I tried many different approaches to bring up the subject, to no avail. Furthermore, she began avoiding me all together. To this day she will not speak to me. After the raid, my daughter started missing school. At that time she was in the 8th grade. She missed 42 days of school that semester. Despite missing that many days of school, she still graduated to the next grade. (My daughter is quite precocious.) It was during this period that my wife had our daughter diagnosed as having bipolar syndrome. (I've always found this diagnoses as extremely coincidental to the legal troubles that my wife is having.)
It took a year of investigation before the prosecutors indicted my wife on aggravated sexual assault charges. She is currently awaiting a trial date. We are now divorced and living in separate residence. My daughter lives with my wife by choice. Yet, she is still missing school. She did
not complete the 9th grade. The public school system fails to come up with an answer of how to keep her going to classes without threatening some kind of DYFS action. At the request of my wife, the school system has advanced our daughter this time to the 10th grade. To this day, I am receiving robo calls from my daughter's school letting me know that she is still missing classes.
My question to you: How do we get a 14 year old child (who has gone through the above history) to willfully talk to a therapist and face this horrible family reality so that she can return to being a functioning student in school and take back her life?
No one here has the answer here. Please help.