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Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).
I am sorry to know bout your situation.
Could you please clarify the core issues affecting you? I had a hard time understanding your words. What I think you meant is how conflicted you feel because of experiencing homosexual preferences, and the conflict it creates around telling your wife about it, now that she presents a fragile health condition because of recent strokes. Is this what you meant? You also said she already knows about this situation but you have avoided discussing about it, and that in your family there are several relatives with homosexual preferences but who are ware of the price to pay if acknowledging it because of the prejudices and stereotypes around homosexuality. Did I get it right?
Thank you for your clarification. I am sorry to know this incident ha happened impacting your peace this much, but I think you have handled it very assertively getting your attorney's support in order to set a clear boundary and not to allow any form of abusive implications or statements about your persona. I also believe your decision to protect your wife from this is wise and necessary, specially taking into account her fragile health condition.
It's good to know you and your wife have been able to dialogue and build your lives together, respecting each other regardless of your differences and sexual preference. You are right, now your priority is to protect and promote her mental and physical health and well-being, not allowing anything to undermine it.
Only you know how upsetting and frustrating it could feel to be the target of such implications, but you are coping with it the best possible way. Venting, expressing your feelings is always necessary, essential for effective coping ad good mental and emotional health, and here is when a healthy support system is so important, from caring family to close friends. We all need and deserve support, specially when feeling overwhelmed by life issues, and there are also times when counseling could become an ideal and unique source of support, specially it our support system is limited or for extra help when coping with painful circumstances.
Painful experiences like this do happen and the best you can do is to cope with them as much as you can, and that's what you have been doing, becoming stronger from them, and refocusing on what truly matters, on what needs your attention, You know your priorities and just need to keep doing a good job taking good care of yourself and wife, treasuring what you have built and enjoyed together for all these years.
I hope it makes sense to you.