How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC Your Own ...

Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5469
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
54658078
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

The past two years of my life have been the worst ones of my

Resolved Question:

The past two years of my life have been the worst ones of my life. I am 28 now and don't know how to deal with the issues. I try to let go and I can't. I try to be happy and I can't. I have found more so this past year I have become more angry and down right rude to people. I once was happy. What can I do to let go and to be happy again? Are there any medications or over the counter things I can take?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 1 year ago.
Hello, I'd like to help you with your question.

Before I can answer, I need some clarification. When you say that you try to let go, was there something in particular that you need to let go of? Was there abuse in your past or other trauma issues?

Thank you,
Kate
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Two failed relationship where both men have played head games with me.


 


One I was with for 8 months and the other for 4 years.


 


The one of four years told me when we called it quits for good that he loves me, wants to have a family with me and marry me, but doesn't want to be with me. A few years ago we were going to have a child and due to health reasons, the fetus was lost. He blames me for it and for the decisions we have made as well as the doctors. I lived with him for pretty much the entire relationship. I helped him buy his house and paid half of everything and the complete remodel. In the end he said the only money I will give you is $50.00. I lost everything that we bought together. We broke up two years ago in October. This past year I had to go for MRI's and Xray's on my brain and head and he stayed in contact and asked me to keep him informed as to what is going on. He said he still cared even if we weren't together and that he still loves me. Once he started dating this new girl in July, I haven't heard from him; which isn't a bad thing. But he made it a point to tell me I should end my life.


 


The man I was with for 8 months, we weren't dating, but lived together and was basically in a relationship without the title. He was seeing another girl at the same time and both of them played head games with me. He used to make me dinner every night, text me all throughout the day and complain about the other girl. He would tell me that he doesn't want her to come over because he wants to spend his time with me. But he has also made it a point to tell me that he doesn't care; that he can't care because it would make things more complication. He would make it a point to call or text me when he was working or hanging out with her to see how I was doing and just to chat. He used to joke around with me about getting married and said if my birth control doesn't work and should he happen we get pregnant, he wouldn't leave me. He is pretty much the only man I have fully let in and felt comfortable with and in the end we got into a fist fight and he moved out. This was December 2012. Haven't heard from him since.


 


Besides my personal issues, I have fallen into deep financial issues. I was charged with something in February that I didn't do. I had to get a lawyer that cost me $2500 and the fees and fines are up near $3000. It was my sister's fault and my older brother told me I can't blame her for it. Needless to say, I found out I have no family. My mom and younger brother called me up at work to tell me my actions were ruining the family instead of being supportive and having my back. I haven't talked to either one of them since February. I talked to my sister and older brother for about a month after and hung out with them a lot. But now they only call me when they want something and constantly tell me about this vacation and that vacation and always say "you should've came" when I didn't even get an invite.


 


My work stress has gotten me so angry to the point where I'm ready to walk out any day now. The only thing holding me back is owning my own home and car, living alone and having to pay for everything.


 


One of my bosses keeps telling me that I need a good man in my life to help with the burden and to keep my head straight. The other boss told me I should have kids as it'll teach me patience. He also keeps telling me that I an condensending and think I am better than everyone.


 


I am at my breaking point and just don't know what to do.

Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 1 year ago.
It sounds like you have been through a lot. I am sorry to hear about your relationships and the lack of support from your family and bosses.

With your relationships, it sounds like you ended up with two men that had personality disorders. To be so uncaring and to encourage you to hurt yourself are signs that they both had severe issues. No one in a relationship directly hurts the other person as your ex's hurt you without having serious personality disorders.

It may help you to first explore what personality disorders are so you can not only see if they fit your past relationships, but understanding what you experienced can help you heal. Here is a resource to help you:

http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/go/information/get-info/personality-disorders

It sounds like there might also be some family members with issues as well as your bosses. Your family should be supporting you and your bosses should never be so personal with you as they have been. You might have a case with the EEOC if your current boss continues to make personal suggestions as he is doing:

http://www.eeoc.gov/

You may also want to consider talking to someone at length about what you have been through. Therapy can help you sort through your feelings and give you guidance on how to put this in your past and cope with current situations you are in. Try asking your doctor for a referral or you can search on line at:

http://www.goodtherapy.org/find-therapist.html

Healing from what you have been through and learning new ways to cope does take time. But with therapy and self help, you can work through your past and be free of your symptoms. Self help can especially provide you with support through self help groups and a chance to understand why you feel as you do. Here are other resources to help get you started:

http://outofthefog.net/

http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2010/12/04/6-steps-to-manage-anger/

http://www.ehow.com/how_4693802_deal-family-problems.html

Remember to take care of yourself most of all. You have suffered through a very difficult time in your life and you deserve to be treated well. Sometimes that means doing it for yourself, unfortunately. Find support through therapy and friends and seek out ways to help yourself feel better. Deep breathing, time to yourself or time away, talking to friends and on line support can all help you to feel better and gain a new perspective.

I hope this has helped you,
Kate
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5469
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 1 year ago.
I hope my answer was helpful to you. If you have any more questions, please let me know.

Kate






May I please request that if you find the service I provided helpful at all that you rate me with three or above? Your rating is the only way I am reimbursed for my answer. Thank you so much!

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
< Last | Next >
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
  • I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well! Claudia Albuquerque, NM
  • Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion. Kevin Beaverton, OR
  • Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
    I feel better already! Thank you.
    Elanor Tracy, CA
  • Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem. Julie Lockesburg, AR
  • You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions. John and Stefanie Tucson, AZ
  • I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!! Janet V Phoenix, AZ
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/Dr.Keane/2013-8-20_204325_drkeane.64x64.jpg Dr. Keane's Avatar

    Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    5024
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC's Avatar

    Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    3733
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/DrAkiraOlsen/2012-2-20_746_AkiraADpicmain.64x64.jpg Dr. Olsen's Avatar

    Dr. Olsen

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2336
    PsyD Psychologist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/norriem/2009-5-27_134249_nm.jpg Norman M.'s Avatar

    Norman M.

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2193
    UK trained in hypnotherapy, counselling and psychotherapy and have been in private practice. ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), UKCP Registered and ECP.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/PsychologyProf/2010-07-15_171248_logos060400409.jpg Dr. Michael's Avatar

    Dr. Michael

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2177
    Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KURTEMMERLING/2010-07-23_215531_just_ask_picture1.jpg Steven Olsen's Avatar

    Steven Olsen

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1727
    More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education