So while the above is in factual event it is also a analogy for my life.
I am prone to depression which of course makes my like far more complicated than it would be otherwise. To a great extent it like a low level toxin in my life, it debilitates me so broadly that not only does it affect my ability to perform at work but even more for myself.
Make no mistake that I have a natural sense of self preservation however that is balanced against a quality of life question where
the intellectual question is that based on the circumstances of my
life do I choose to continue? I believe that I SHOULD own the choice
as to whether I live or not just as I believe that physically sick people should be able to make the choice as to whether to live or not based on a quality of life.
This is where my question is coming from, a quality of life perspective.
To live in a state of continuous fear and bitterness poisoning the lives
of those around you who love you and expecting them to assume
financial responsibility for you is something that I see as intolerable.
On the other hand how do you tell the people who love you that "on the whole" I'd rather be dead and have them accept it as a valid choice.
I am totally in tune with the material that you sent me in your reply but
I am literally one unemployment away from wanting to end my life. The problem is that there is so little "up side" to my life and at my current
age I can naturally expect things to generally trend for the worse rather
than the better.
This internal rift itself is such a burden to me, it's a lose lose situation.
I believe that I have the right to chose what is intolerable to me as a
quality of life decision. I choose not to abuse drugs, or alcohol etc, etc
because that choice is offensive to me in terms of it being against my
best interests and the terrible burden it exerts on those around you.
I would chose to be dead rather than do that, I would rather be dead than treat those around me immorally or illegally. Many people DON'T
and wouldn't make that choice and that is their choice to make.
My problem is how do you get people to accept an if, then quality of life
While it's not a great movie if you've ever seen Soylent Green it rather
explains where I'm coming from. The old man has seen enough of life
and has the choice to simply pass on. That is what I want if required.