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I believe that I can help with this issue.
You may be suffering only from physical abrasion due to several factors: -his size is a big factor and could be stretching your vagina wall to the point of irritation, despite using lubrication
-as a woman ages the skin in her vagina wall becomes thinner and less resilient
-if he is uncircumcised then he might not be as hygienic as a circumcised man, but with proper hygiene and extra effort, he can be.
-the sperm is a slight irritant, and if you have any slight abrasion, and it is already irritated, then you will have painful discomfort.
His having a drink a day should not affect you in any way, and this would not make him an alcoholic.
There are two sexual pain disorders that are listed as mental health issues. I will mention them briefly but I do not think that your pain is psychological, though it may be.
Dyspareunia, meaning painful intercourse, can be caused by anxiety which produces tension in the vaginal mucosa and produces pain. Anxiety will soon replace sexual enjoyment. It is a very common symptom in women and can have a number of causes. About one out of three women who have had gynecological surgery will experience dyspareunia. Pelvic inflammatory disease, infections, and scars will also be a cause. So it is a physical base that causes pain and mental distress.
If failure of lubrication is the only cause (and at age 60 your internal lubrication may have decreased) then it is not listed as dyspareunia.
The other sexual pain disorder is Vaginismus, which is a cramping contraction of vaginal muscles when a woman attempts intercourse, but this does not seem to be what afflicts you.
For a very detailed article on dyspareunia listing causes and various treatments (which are matched with the causes), please read this comprehensive article:
I strongly urge you to visit your gynecologist to determine the exact cause(s) of your pain. Don't throw the baby away. You can probably fix this, and the sooner the better because you do not want to develop further aversion to sexual intercourse as this would further harm your relationship with this man, with whom you other wise have a decent relationship.
I wish you great success in treating this and then moving on with your life without this obstacle.
Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC