Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).
Could you please tell me what's your question?
basically I am confused.i need about 2 minutes to write it out and you can tell me what you think
Sure, no problem.
ok here I go
about 3 and half years ago I was in the city partying hard with my friend.i had about 3 grams of cocaine and a equivelant to about a bottle of bourbon.i was partying a 100 miles an hour.i ended up in a different nightclub about 3am where I started to get dirty looks,one person walked past and said that I am going to get bashed.i eventually walked out and had a cigarette.i thought I was paranoid and walked up the lane way and caught a taxi.i was on the main strip where about at least 8 people were either mobile phone taping me or on the phone and looking at me.i told the taxi driver to go to the casino.i ended up at the the main entrance at the casino and there where two cars right behind me there,who got out and got of there mobile phones.end of story I was there until 6am scared shitless but nohing happened.
but just two months ago I started to do security and ended up working in the city where two former workers from that area work with me.and there has been a lot of what the f**ks.just last week I caught the train home.i got of at my train station I saw one male out of the ordinary with a mobile phone head piece,and 100 metres further down I saw another male with a mobile phone head piece.these two guys looked very suspicious.further down my street as I was on the mobile phone.it was dark and no one around another male crossed the road with his hooded jumper and face covered staright passed me
end bit he walked passed me with his head down
would you know what this means
Then from the first episode 3.5 years ago to this recent experience, there has not been any other situation like this?
no. we did not meet each other. somehow through work
I actually thought I freaked out on cocaine but it looks real to me now
The first episode could be easily explained as a psychotic reaction to the drug you used, but taht was the only time you used cocaine, right, or have you been using it tor other drugs since then?
I have used it about a dozen times after and about 20 times before.i have never freaked out on it.i can actually remember everything the following day
I see, then I am sorry to hear this but you could have caused or triggered a psychotic disorder from the use of cocaine. Some people, depending on their nervous system, could just have one use of cocaine and get mentally ill-psychotic for the rest of their lives, while other people could take long to become aware of the damage caused by drugs that powerful as cocaine.
ok I understand.i have been reading about it for the last 5 days and I agree.but just wondering about that episode with the hooded person
One core issue with these powerful drugs is that they do actually change-undermine your brain chemestry, and from there the way you perceive reality, feel, cope with it and more, thus depending on how your body process the drug, it would affect you in different ways.
I am not a criminal but if he had an intention to cause harm would he had done it because it was a dark street.did I prevent him from fighting me because I was on the mobile phone
Our minds work creating and reinforcing associations, connections, and even when you could not remember or be aware of it, these processes could get triggered by new situations, which would stimulate subconscious material,memories, fears, and you could then find yourself having a reaction involving high anxiety and paranoid ideation from there.
No way to know how much of this perception of what happened truly matched reality or not, the only way to find out is by evaluation a pattern of similar scenarios , which would show if this was actually a concrete threat or a subjective experience.
I understand that.i 100% believe that I was set up there.i know my area very well I have been here for 20 years.those two guys where they were standing and dressed didn't belong there.also those two guys are from a gang at work.i spoke to one of the guys the following day and asked if they are after me.he said no but at the end of the conversation he asked if I knew bob I asked why because he copped an heart attack.he was a samoan guy and also at my train station was an islander appearance male
I see, then it would make sense to believe this was a real situation and not just a paranoid episode.
yes.i am just wondering if they were trying to scare me to leave. check out my reactions or because I was on my mobile did not attack
Right, unhappily there is no way to know, only by monitoring - observing these people behavior you would find out. Obviously, feedback and information from other people close to you, healthy-assertive coworkers or people you know would be necessary for you to be able to assess situations like this one, when in doubt about their nature.
one of the males I currently do not see because he works at a different site.the other one is a duty manager. he is on a different line. prior to that incident he was always avoiding me.but once I made the phone call to the other person and explained to him what happened,and now he has started to talk to me.
That's very odd, could have a connection for sure. My suggestion is for you to be careful, promote good relationship with co-workers, avoid conflicts with people you know are into criminal activities, and enrich your social network with people who have healthy and productive life styles.
a few days later at work,i actually said that I want o go home because I am about to have a nervous breakdown .i told everyone and everyone is interested in the story. i saw him outside and said to him was 3 and half years ago I got chased from the city.he straight away said that I needed to see shriek without hearing my story
I have quit my job
I am sorry to know that. I do always believe that we all need psychological support in order to effectively cope with life issues that become too stressful or lead to any form of dysfunction or serious problem-limitation. Ii think you could really benefit from counseling, from assessing what append 3,5 years ago, to present situation. It's obvious that this has deeply affected you to the point of leaving your job, then it is very important for you to feel safe and confident enough to take good care of yourself, get a good job and take good care of every important area of your life.
thanks. i just cannot work out the situation. or if there will be revenge attacks as they know my address
That's one more very good reason for you to get professional support to assess your situation and what would be the best, XXXXX XXXXX to have right now.
You're very welcome. Thank you for trusting me. Please look for this support from counseling and from your support system (close healthy friends and family members).