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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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Long story, Ill keep as short as possibleOKMH0907217

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Long story, I'll keep as short as possible. In January 2008, I was attacked at work by a gang and shot in the back. Now, my MOTHER of all people, is "practicing without a license" in Psychology...she knows my finances are in a mess as a result, she WAS helping but stopped and started demanding I do "community service" - even after I told her NO. She insists upon it and has been hounding me about it to the point I had a panic attack (documented as I saw my doctor the next business day). Her OWN mental health is very poor which is obvious because A) she does NOT have the qualification to "treat" me, B) she's harassed me well after I rejected her demands, C) she caused a panic attack and won't even acknowledge I had one (because she caused it), D) at this point, she's long passed being emotionally abusive. The woman has a number of conditions - undiagnosed and untreated - and I'm no Psychologist myself, but having known her and many OTHER people all my life, you don't need to necessarily be a Psychologist to know she has multiple issues. My question is, is there any way to involve the state or some other officials against her will? She drove me to having flashbacks of my attack and I won't speak to her now, but we still have to interact for other reasons, unfortunately. What recourse do I have? She apparently thinks she's immune to anything and her sickness is going to force me to push her out of my life completely, which is what she wants I think. As an aside, she lost 2 infants in the early 1970's, I'm her only "child" remaining, and she's doing her best to ostracize me and pretty much do as much damage to me as she can, knowing it will make me withdraw from her so she can go have her little pity party. I'm sick of the abuse of a sick woman especially while I'm going through such a difficult and vulnerable time in my life! What can I do, if anything? We're in South Carolina. Thanks.

Submitted: 11 months ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 11 months ago.
Seeking expert counseling is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Dear friend,

I believe that I can help.

Your mother is damaging you and potentially others by practicing psychology without a license.

This is, of course, against the law. Your mother is doing this not because she is willfully breaking the law but because, perhaps, she is mentally ill.

In any case, you can put a stop to this by getting in touch with The South Carolina Board of Examiners in Psychology.

Complete instructions for filing a complain can be found at this website:

http://www.llr.state.sc.us/POL/Psychology/index.asp?file=complaint.htm

Alternatively, you can phone them during working hours at (NNN) NNN-NNNN

Do not let her bully or coerce you any longer and take action to help her and others by putting an end to this illegal practice and the possible harmful consequences she can cause and has affected you.

I shall keep you in my prayers for strength and courage.

Warm regards,

Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and 2 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 11 months ago.

Thank you, XXXXX XXXXX the site but am worried nothing would ultimately happen because while she has gone behind my back telling people "He (me) is nuts" - which in and of itself isn't "practicing psychology" - but I don't know for sure who all she has told that to. Heck, I've called her nuts too - she IS nuts - but I'm not making demands on her.


 


I guess what I'm trying to get at is where does a "family squabble" end and "practicing psychology without a license" begin?


 


I do have one neighbor who knows a little about this and I do know of one relative in Texas she talked to - he got back to me about it - and the neighbor has told me she's scared of my Mother, but I would certainly include her in any info I give to the state.


 


This started when a cousin's house burned down, and she (MK for brevity) was getting pity and attention. That's when my Mother blew up at me - in public on Facebook....and I saved a screen capture of it.


 


After I was shot, she began helping me financially. That day where MK's house burned down was when Mom yanked all her financial help, demanded I "show her respect," and since I've been doing that (ie: no sarcastic comments back to her when she treats me like a 4 y/o child), she's moved the goalposts as it were until now she's DEMANDING I do "community service."


 


I told her NO - please stop, I can't do that except on my own timetable....I joined the Freemasons and plan to do my own good works of MY choosing, but after I said NO (withdrawing my request for financial help) she has continued to insist on this. It's really apparently an obsession she has at this point.


 


She and I have the same physician and he's the one I saw the Monday following the Friday evening she pushed me so much that I had the panic attack. Monday - 3 days later - my BP was 157/107 and I have zero history of hypertension.


 


The doctor called her personally on the phone the following Monday and then I talked to him regarding roughly what her reaction was.


 


SINCE THEN, she asked I mow the neighbor's yard - something I might have done anyway - and I don't mind doing that since I know the neighbor (same one as I mentioned above). The neighbor was happy with the yard work she pays for, told me she doesn't pay much and is happy with it but thanks. I later relayed this to my Mom in hopes she would finally leave me alone.


 


Nope. Mom apparently called B (neighbor) to "check my story" and B said it was odd that Mom actually got a little upset and ask her THAT SHE RECONSIDER.


 


This has long stopped being about any financial help and has (after reflection now) ALWAYS been about her insatiable need for power and control over me.


 


We went over the book "Boundaries" at the urging of my own Counselor, and I let Mom know I'm being treated BY PROFESSIONALS (which she has known for years) and she previously claimed to be doing all this "to HELP me?" I had told her I don't ask my psychologists for money, that's what family is for...helping other family members in need when they are in their darkest hours especially...and that she could best help by helping me with my bills.


 


After about a month of relative calm, Mom went back to her old ways - in fact I get the distinct impression she approached it like a covert intelligence operation. I told her via "Boundaries" that I need help with bills the most from her and for myself my main "boundary" was that I need as much power and control over my own life as I can.


 


Hardly a lot to ask as I think each individual should have power and control over their own lives no matter what the circumstances are.


 


So, Mom "moved the goalposts" instead of "wanting my respect," she went on full-scale assault of my main boundary - "Community Service" - trying to wrestle as much power and control over me for HERSELF as she can.


 


It's just evil, insidious, and she couldn't be doing MORE harm if she tried I don't think. Her actions speak volumes.


 


The issue is PROVING all this stuff....


 


She did go Thursday to the pre-arranged weekly session I have with my Counselor, but that info would be confidential I would think so again, my biggest concern is how do I prove my accusation?


 


If necessary, and I don't want to but will if it will help, I could record a phone conversation with her but I need to know what sort of things she needs to say before the state takes any action.


 


Sorry this is so long but it is quite complicated as most such cases probably are....thank you!

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 11 months ago.
Get yourself a recording device for the telephone:

Product Details

VEC TRX-20 3.5MM Direct Connect Telephone Record Device (ADAPTER ONLY) by KJB

click the link.

 

You can also get hidden cameras and recording devices.

 

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_8?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=hidden+camera&sprefix=hidden+c%2Caps%2C207&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Ahidden+camera

 

copy the entire link for the page.

 

I wish you great fortune with your new counselor.

 

Warm regards,

 

Elliott

Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and 2 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 11 months ago.

Thanks, XXXXX XXXXX have something for recording already as I was recording lectures over the phone a couple of years ago.


 


I guess I'm still wondering about where a family squabble ends and practicing psychology w/o a license begins?


 


She's been so horrible these last few months the fact I'm even thinking about reporting her to the state should say something as to that.


 


Also, she's been lying/telling half-truths/lies of omission to my Counselor while I was there with her for the 30 mins or so we had. I had to email my Counselor 2 long emails explaining "what Mom said" vs. "what the whole truth is."


 


She's a pathological liar and a drama queen for starters. As I said - no need to BE a Psychologist to see a lot of what she's doing is not just immoral and unethical, but probably illegal.


 


I just need "the law on my side" and need more information on what sorts of things the state is looking for in order to intervene and possibly charge her with a crime, or ordering psychiatric care of HER?


 


Otherwise, all I would accomplish is getting her side of the family ticked off at me, not that that's such a huge issue at this point because they see the abuse and do nothing and even avoid my attempts at reaching out to them - only the doctor did anything about it so I'm probably going to lose almost her entire part of the family either way.


 


Nothing quite says "I love you" like stabbing someone in the back and twisting the knife over and over and over again.

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 11 months ago.
Dear XXXXX,

Don't go to counseling with her. If she is treating OTHERS then you should report her. If she is just treating you, her son, they will do nothing. If she is advertising her services then they will intervene. If it is only your work against hers, then nothing will happen.

If her family is that opposed to you then you have already lost them and so you have nothing to lose except your self-respect.

Stand up for yourself.

I wish you great success.

Warm regads,

Elliott
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and 2 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 11 months ago.

well, having her come to counseling....the idea there is that she won't listen to me at all and I'm hoping she'll listen when it comes from someone else. At least she listened to the doctor, even if she lied about why she came. After the first session, my hopes of much good coming from it went out the window when she kept telling her lies.


 


Oh well. I guess she'll find out she's not nearly as smart as she thinks she is when SHE is old SHE needs help, and I won't be there for her.


 


At least I won't pull all the crap on her that she has on me. I'll just tell her up-front.


 


I know if I'm not out of the will by now, when HER mother dies, she'll just use that as another wedge/blunt instrument/whatever you want to call it. It won't work because with her own insanity and massive ego, it looks like I will have to give her what she wants - kicking her out of my life so she can go have her pity party "I lost all my children, waaah poor me!"


 


I DO know those two children she lost has tons to do with this but she doesn't want to BE helped. She's trying to destroy my life and my health and obviously I can't let that happen.


 


Otherwise, I'm formulating a way of tersely putting all this so I can expose her lies in front of the Counselor and see what Mom says under pressure when she can't have time to plan and plot like she's been doing.


 


One way or the other, this all stops and stops now. Next Thursday despite what the Counselor might say, I'll just ask the string of short, pointed questions to paint the picture that she is, in fact, attempting to do me harm because of her own ego and faults.


 


I do apologize for the length of this exchange, but there are literally decades of things involved. She'll know what I'm talking about when I challenge her since she's been at the center of it.


 


It just so happens my biological father is a PhD in Psychology but keeps out unless I ask him something because he actually does know not to treat his family. They've been divorced since I was 13.


 


Enough with the family junk. I try to help Mom when I'm the one needing help and she's so sick she's been using me to satisfy her needs for drama, power and control. Doesn't matter what I do, I'm pretty much screwed out of relationships with her side of the family, thanks to her.


 


She's toxic and sick and/or just plain evil....manipulating someone who is a victim of gang violence while trying to work my way through school?


 


I don't need this bad influence in my life, no matter who it is. She's even using the fact I give a damn to extend this crap and her sisters and HER mother apparently don't care.


 


Okay. Fine, then....I'll break off contact with them as well. She leaves me no choice.


 


Thanks.

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