I feel a bit like I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
I'm trying very hard to keep it altogether as I have a 5 yr old daughter to take care of but sometimes I feel as tho the weight of the world is on my shoulders and pretendingalm the time that in fine and everything is ok for the sake of her and everyone around me can't last too much longer as I'm worn out, sad
& fed up with having to be the responsible one all the time.
My sister has a diagnosed mental illness / BPD and my daughter father is a high functioning drug addict. I left him 6 mths ago after he gave me two black eyes whilst I was trying to help him detox. I moved to the other side of the country where my sister lives and since being here she seems to have worsened in her condition.
We had a business together and she decided she was unable to work and left me with the responsibility of everything. She's also been self harming and acting aggressively toward my child.
Consequently ive had to distance myself somewhat from her whilst taking on all her wk responsibilities.
I'm feeling alone and physically isolated from everyone as I moved to put some distance between my daughters father and I and demonstrate to him that j coukd not take anymore of his drug related issues.
Meanwhile my daughter is sad and doesn't really understand why we left 'home'.
Very few friends know of all these issues as I e tried to protect both by not letting other people know so much about their behaviour.
to this one of the few people who I could lean on - a client who was a married man I had developed a relationship with and was in love with ended our relationship seemingly because of all the drama my sister and ex partner caused in my life
Some days I just want to shut down. But I have to carry on and act responsibly and don't want my daughter to see me unhappy or feel insecure or unsafe but life just feels so hard some days that I feel if I didnt have her it would be so easy just to end it allbin I carry on desperately trying to make her life happy despite all the other drama around us