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Ask Rafael M.T.Therapist Your Own Question
Rafael M.T.Therapist
Rafael M.T.Therapist, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 3191
Experience:  MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
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My boyfriend has just lost his job and he now thinks that he

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My boyfriend has just lost his job and he now thinks that he can live without one by using the power of his mind that he won't need to pay his bills or rent. I'm worried he will end up homeless. He also believes that he can control people and what they are going to do

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I'm very sorry to know about your friend.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Is this the first time that your friend experience this tipe of behavior? How old is him?

Customer: I'm not sure if this is the first time. He's 29
Rafael M.T.Therapist :

The fact that he is truly believing that he can control other people's mind and behaviors show that he's experiencing a psychotic problem distorting his ability to access reality.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Do you know if your friend is using any kind of drugs?

Customer: What advice would you give to me as he doesn't see there is a problem and won't see his doctor, I'm his only support system his family live away and he doesn't speak to them really, nor does he have friends really. He can get quite agitated when I try and rationalise with him. He used to be an alcoholic but stopped drinking four years ago. He also took drugs, he's not on anything now.
Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Everything you said is very concerning because it shows a person with an alcoholic problem or abuse drugs. Apparently he did not receive any treatment. If he has not been using drugs or alcohol, but is presenting this delusional ideas/thoughts then it is obvious hes suffering a mental illness unless, he happens to have a medical condition or a neurological disorder, tumor or any other medical condition that could causing this symptoms...

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

But everything seems to point at a psychotic symptom on a mental health condition. The personality traits and behavior you have described are common in people with mental problem and here we are talking about a person who is an alcoholic and abused drugs but who has not receiving any treatment, and who has not a close effective support system what could easily lead to the present scenario.

Customer: I want to leave him but I'm worried about what will happen to him. I can suffer from depression and I'm worried about how it will start to affect me
Customer: I was married to an abusive man and was abused by my teenage daughter for two years after i left my husband she has thankfully calmed down now. I'm really looking for a man who is stable and reliable.
Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Unhappily in these cases the person uses to isolate and alienate himself and without treatment, dependency will be for him to get worse since he's not only having delusions but acting them out, self neglecting and refusing to getting any help even to listen to you as his friend.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I'm sorry. Are you dating this person or are you only friends?

Customer: I'm dating this person
Rafael M.T.Therapist :

If you suffer with depression and have a hard time coping rehabilitating from it, I do not see how a person in his situation, with this serious mental health problem, could be a positive presence in your life, at all.

Customer: He is quite needy as he only has me and I'm worried what will happen to him if I go. He also says he can take things from shops and no one will look at him while doing this so he can take without paying so again I worry about the police being involved.
Customer: Also I will be quite upset as I've been with him for a year and still have feelings for him
Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I can see this is overwhelmingly sad and frustrating for you, but the only thing you can do is to focus on what you can control, taking good care of yourself while trying to promote his insight and accountability. He will continue to be the only one with the power to choose if he wants to receive necessary support or not and commit to his rehabilitation. Right now, all the behaviors he has been presenting are very destructive, and sooner or later would lead him to a bigger crisis and to legal problems, and as sad as it may sound, I am afraid that would be the only way for him to get the support he needs, forced by circumstances, having to afford the consequences, otherwise he would continue to fuel an unreal world that would not help him nor anybody around him,.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

You need to stay alert in order to request an intervention as soon as you see his mood and mental health getting worse, since only then professionals could get him into treatment without his consent.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I think many time sit's much better for people in his shoes to face legal problems right away for them to be referred for psychological - psychiatric treatment, than waiting too long until the situation becomes much more serious.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Does it make sense?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

The more time it takes for him to get treatment, the higher his chances to get more legal problems and to have to afford more serious consequences. That's why I suggest people in your shoes not to passively behold all these serious issues, when aware of how dysfunctional the person has become, but to look for immediate support from mental health professionals, and if needed to report to the police what is happening for them to refer him to necessary treatment program, where he would be evaluated and treated.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Could you see my reply?

Customer: Yes thank you
Rafael M.T.Therapist :

You're welcome. Thank you for replying. This is very sad, and only you know how painful it feels, and that's why you need to have a proactive approach here allowing you to take better care of yourself, while supporting him as much as he allows you to. Everything beyond that limit depends on him not on you.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Please get all the support you can from your own support system for you to take good care of yourself and cope as good as possible with this serious situation, and if you have not been receiving counseling support, please consider it since depression could get worse if untreated specially with long term problems and challenges like this one..

Customer: Ok thank you very much
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