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Dr. Z
Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4414
Experience:  Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
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Hi my boy friend has a fettish for older women & masterbates

Resolved Question:

Hi my boy friend has a fettish for older women & masterbates in front of them he needs help where can he go
Submitted: 10 months ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 10 months ago.

DoctorZ :

Hello I believe I can help you with your concern

DoctorZ :

I am sorry that you boyfriend has been exhibiting this type of behavior, I can imagine how distressing this must be for you

DoctorZ :

The professional that he should see is a sex therapists as these are the best trained therapists for atypical sexual behaviors such as this.

Customer:

yes we where to be married in november but i can not live with him anymore after he was charged by the police.

DoctorZ :

I can imagine why you would not want to live with him, this is a sign of sexual addiction and fetishism that he has been displaying and a sex therapist is the perfect professional to help him with this.

DoctorZ :

Conceivably any therapist can counsel him on this, but a sex therapist would be ideal

Customer:

Ok i will look one up, i wanted to help him this way

DoctorZ :

I think that is very admirable that you are willing to help him. A sex therapist will help him find the root cause of his behavior and will help to eliminate it as well

DoctorZ :

Will he be forced to go to counseling because of the charges from the police?

Customer:

i would think so after his court date in January 2014, but i wanted him to start it straight away

DoctorZ :

I think if he does it would show the court that he wants to get treated and they will be more lenient on him

Customer:

yes thats what i thought

Customer:

Can i just ring any sex therapist or do you need a referral

DoctorZ :

I am forensic psychologist and I routinely testify in court, especially with sexual related issues and if he seeks treatment this early and gets a positive letter from his therapist showing his progress with treatment it will be favorable for him by alot

DoctorZ :

You can call them and if they have openings they will schedule an appointment with him.

Customer:

ok i have been with him 9yrs but i no he has had a history of this many years ago, & they put him on medication so his penis would not get up

Customer:

He did not do this type of thing he just flashed

DoctorZ :

Okay so they must have determined that he had an addiction to this behavior to put him on the medication

Customer:

well thats what he told me!

Customer:

but he has been fine for 11 yrs

Customer:

Or may be that he just got court this time

DoctorZ :

And in the 11 years he has not sought counseling?

Customer:

i thought we had a good sexual relationship,

Customer:

no not at all, no counceling

DoctorZ :

You probably do have a good sexual relationship, but for some reason he has an abnormal fetish that brings about compulsions to exhibit this behavior.

DoctorZ :

The issue that I would have is that he did not recognize the escalation of his compulsive impulses to ask for help before he did what he did.

DoctorZ :

This is what counseling can help him with, recognize when the compulsive behavior is too overwhelming to seek help

Customer:

Yes i see, i feel so so bad, i can not tell my family or my 4 children

Customer:

I have had to tell a lie to them all

DoctorZ :

You should not feel bad at all, this is not your fault. I understand why you cannot tell your family and it will be hard when you do, but your family can be there to support and help you through this

Customer:

No i think they would be just discussted with him

Customer:

sorry about my spelling

DoctorZ :

No worries about the spelling. I can understand why your family would react that way, but they may be able to support you through this ordeal so that you do not feel like you are going through it alone.

Customer:

Yes but i said we would still be friends & keep in touch, if i tell them then we can not still be friends

DoctorZ :

Oh okay, well then that makes sense. Well at least you are getting help for him, that is very kind of you. And I would also encourage you to seek counseling too because you were about to marry this man in a couple months and now it suddenly ended from this incident, so that must be somewhat traumatic for you

Customer:

Yes it is but i am trying to stay strong, so no one finds out

DoctorZ :

I can see that, but keep counseling in mind for yourself if you ever feel overwhelmed.

Customer:

Ok thank you its been good getting it off my chest

DoctorZ :

That is good, I am glad I can help you with that. Is there anything else I can help you with?

Customer:

No thank you again

Customer:

Oh sorry is there any way i can print this out, so i can show him

DoctorZ :

You can use your mouse to select all the text on the chat and copy and paste it in a Word document. Also after you rate me an email should be sent to you with a link to this chat so that you can always access it in the future.

Customer:

ok thank you, XXXXX XXXXX great day

DoctorZ :

You have a great day too and best of luck with everything. My goal is to provide you with excellent service, so if you ever have any further questions or concerns please do not hesitate to contact me at anytime.

Customer:

Thank you

DoctorZ :

You are most welcome.

Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4414
Experience: Psy.D. in Clinical Forensic Psychology with a background in treating severe mental illnesses.
Dr. Z and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

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