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Ask Eleanor, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1517
Experience:  Marriage & Family Therapist/Prof. Counselor for 20 years
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Hi, Can you give me advise about this facebook post. She

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Can you give me advise about this facebook post. She is my sister-in-law. I have not seen her or my brother in 2 years at Christmas in 2011. They are abusive verbally or just pretend you don't exist. tried facebook for periods but then she would get rude and mean and I blocked cut her off. My brother did have major by-pass surgery that had an issue (surgery went from 1 1/2 hours to 3 1/2 hours in his legs) but home doing fine. I don't want a relationship with any of them. I have not responded to her post (she is a type that wants a response) all the people who posted was giving her advise/comfort. The only one who hit the point was to tell her to let go because she is being bitter. The post is directed to my 25 year old daugther who doesn't read her posts. I did not go to the hospital to see my brother he is angry when he sees me and it wasn't the time for him. I did not call, facebook message or sent a card but just prayed. I still think the best thing is say and do nothing. My brother too is a very bad alcoholic so here is a start of his health problems. Anyways do I need to do anything about the post and she replied to her friends also below (just that hit of violence). I just been ignoring it I think that is where my power is. (P.S. I tried many times over the years to talk with her; to talk our problems out; she uses the time to try to get back instead)

Just wanted to say thank you to some family members of David's family that have not asked how he is doing. This is why you guys are not what I consider family and I will leave you on my friend list until I get back from the hospital and then you can consider yourself unfriend always! Just a heads up...he has never ever done or talked negative about any of you and if it were me that you were doing this to it would not bug me....HE IS YOUR FAMILY OR SUPPOSE TO BE!!!! You make the drama that you say everyone else does. I am so done with your games...Oh tell your mom too! You know who you are!!! Tell her to stop friend requesting me too!!! I am so done!!!!!! — feeling annoyed.

I am sorry to all my family and friends to post this...but this stuff has gone on long enough and I was to have to face them it would not be a nice thing. I know facebook is not the place but it is better then other ways that could get me in trouble....These people are crazy and they blame everyone for all the problems in there life......OH!!!!!!! I am so upset!!!!!

It hurts that they are so mean towards us but mostly him. My family have shown more compassion then some of his. I have tried to be friends his sister over and over again and every time she kicks me off her facebook (5 Times or more) I really don"t need people like that and it is sad. I have really tried the best I can with what we have been given. I really don"t want people to think it is me. But then I do know that everyone that really knows me knows that I am not all the things she and some of the others say I am. Oh well I always learn the hard way but at least I try....

Thank you and David said to tell you all thank you for the best wishes. I thought he would be mad when I told him what I had said but he said the truth hurts.

Thank you Aunt Helen I do believe this as well...but they are not family to me and that is fine, they can hate me for what ever reason but it hurts to hear him say they are not what I see them as and they end up hurting him. Hurt me anytime but do not hurt the people that I love and know do not deserve it. I am really feeling better about everything this morning...I have been blessed with who I have close in my life and that is what really matters...
Hello, I know it is very upsetting to read a post like this on FB. Your sister-in-law is being passive aggressive with you and any other family members to whom she may be referring; and you are absolutely right to not respond. She is trying to provoke a reaction from you and your power does indeed lie in not getting hooked by her into replying. Alcoholics and those enabling them live a life of high drama and are always wanting others to join them in their craziness. I think choosing to take care of yourself and keep your boundaries with them is a very wise and healthy decision. I hope this helps. Chat back if you have any questions. Take care, Eleanor
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Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Thank you! I was thinking I was on the right track. I will continue with no reply to her. Have a great day!

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