Hello I believe I can help you with your concern
I think it is good that you are being concerned about your boyfriend given his past
1. It is possible that his criminal record will hurt him with upcoming jobs in the future, but if this is the only reason he has a criminal record, most likely he is not a habitual criminal and probably will not do it again.
2. The medication he is on is typically for ADHD and not OCD, so it probably will not help with OCD. Vyvanse is a stimulant medication that is designed to help individuals focus more and help manage ADHD symptoms.
Typical OCD medications to start with are the SSRI antidepressants, like Zoloft, Paxil, Luvox, Celexa, and Lexapro.
If he does get into a fight with his sister, I would be concerned for him as well because you dont want to see him get arrested again for trying to help
It happens living with someone who has a compulsive disorder, it is not common by any means, but it does happen. The medication and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) help manage the compulsive behavior and thoughts
So it sounds like he may have some impulse control issues, but they seem to be mild because he is not the one instigating these situations and during 2 of them, he was actually protecting someone.
3. I am concerned about his behavior where he says he will commit suicide if you and him break up because this is a tactic meant to guilt you into staying in the relationship and this is not healthy behavior by any means
Well because it is a stimulant, you do not want the Vyvanse to be too high because it can actually trigger more OCD behavior
No individuals with OCD do not necessarily have higher rate of suicide compared to others without OCD
So he does not speak to his sister, but is planning on living with her
That does not seem like a good idea that will not end well
Well based on his behavior he may have anger management issues, as he responds physically when someone aggravates him (e.g. the woman with the oranges). Also the Vyvanse can cause irritability too
I think you should hold off on marriage at this point because you do have some valid concerns. I am more concerned about his history of violence and that he said he will commit suicide if you leave him..
Individual with anger management issues typically make excuses to justify their behavior
If you plan to quit, you should just say that you are not ready and that you do not feel like you and him would be a good match. This way you are not blaming him directly
I would not quit just yet from this relationship, just move it slower and see how he behaves. I do think that what you have pointed out are red flags though
If he takes the right medications it will help, but a stimulant like Vyvanse will not help with anger so much and usually does not help with OCD. I think he should switch to an SSRI to help with these behaviors
Well there are a number of ways to help you. Low self-esteem is a form of mild depression and most of this is caused by negative thoughts so the goal would be to change that negative thought process to a more positive one.
So this link may help you, it contains a technique I use with patients called a thought record. It will help you keep track of any negative thoughts you have. You put the negative thought on paper, the emotion accompanying, the evidence to support it, and the evidence against it. Then I want you to come up with an alternative thought for the situation (more positive and plausible). This will help you change your way of thinking to be able to think more positive and not automatically go to a negative type of thinking.
In addition, this Positive Belief Record can help you as well
You get scared because you think they are better than you in some way, when they are not. They are just another person like you. Your low self-esteem is caused by you not realizing all the positive skills and attributes you have, you put too much focus on the negative self-critical beliefs
I recommend giving him a chance for a couple months and observe his behavior, just continue to go slow with the relationship
If his behavior becomes worse, then I think ending the relationship would be wise
Anytime, is there anything else I can assist you with?
Well what do you believe you are you having difficulty with at work in being a professional?
Okay, well you can be nice to people, just try to keep your boundaries and be remember that these are not friends, these are coworkers. Also the trusting easily can be remedied by having a mindset where you should only share work information with your coworkers, and only limited things about your personally. Remember at work it is a different world then in real life. If you want to be more professional, then talk more about work and not about personal issues.
Anytime, I am always happy to help
If you have any other questions or concerns please feel free to contact me at anytime.
I want to wish you the best of luck with your boyfriend and I hope I provided you with excellent service today
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