Hello I believe I can help you with your concern tonight
I am so sorry that you are feeling this way, I can imagine how distressing this is for you
I do agree that you do exhibit symptoms of depression and anxiety, most likely from your abusive marriage. This abusive marriage hurt your self-confidence, so you lack the self-esteem to feel like you can change for the better.
Fixing this will take time and we have to concentrate one step at a time because if you focus on everything at once it will overwhelm you
Now I think raising your self-esteem will make you more confident and will help you feel strong and in control again
Thats just it, it is not permanently broken. You can fix this and you will get better. May I ask, why do you feel the need to fool everyone. You have helped so many people, as you said, I am sure some people that are close to you want to help you through this difficult time in your life
Okay, but what about family?
Wow, that is very admirable that you have helped your family so much, it says a lot about your character, but the reason they think you are so strong is because you have not confided in them with your problems either. I am sure they would be willing to help you too if you told them your issues
Do not even worry about me, I am on the Pacific Time Zone, and there is no time limit on this session, so I will spend time with you for as long as you need.
I am not sure of what type of therapy modality you are currently in, but have you heard of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)?
Do not worry this service is for you to vent and to get some answers and help. I am in California as well.
I am sorry that you are feeling this way, I did want to point out that the Wellbutrin you are on is a decent antidepressant, but there are also more effective ones out there as well if you wanted to try that.
No worries, I can manage with slow typing I will be here for you and you can take as long as you need to type
And because you are familiar with CBT, have you used the Positive Belief Record yet?
It looks like this
Its okay, like I said you can take all the time you need, I do not have time limits, my goal is to give you ample time to get the help you need
I know its not in your vocabulary, that is why this worksheet is going to force it in there. I know you are resistant to thinking differently, but it is imperative to help you get better
You basically replace your old self-critical thoughts with more positive self- beliefs
And you keep practicing this until it becomes habitual, this will help retrain your mind
No I am not thinking that at all, and it is definitely not too late for you. Have you thought about changing your antidepressant to a more effective antidepressant?
I know you are tired, but there is a way back, you do have the strength to do this and I promise you will get better. If you start on a more effective antidepressant like Lexapro for instance, you will start to feel benefits in 2-3 weeks and then within 8-12 weeks for the full benefit
Lexapro can cause weight gain, but its incidence rate of this is lower than other SSRI medications
While Wellbutrin does not cause weight gain, it is also not as effective for depression as the SSRI antidepressants.
Did you try the Lexapro at 40mg too?
Sorry I meant 20mg
Do not be sorry, that is your negative thoughts of low self-confidence talking. I am here to help, you can vent all night long if it helps.
Its okay, you can try another SSRI medication (Zoloft, Celexa, Prozac, Luvox, etc..) or an SNRI medication (eg. Effexor, Cymbalta, Pristiq)
I am being nice to you because you are a good person that only wants help
Also you can combine your antidepressant with abilify to enhance the effectiveness of the antidepressant
The combination of an antidepressant and abilify is more recent
You cannot blame yourself for what your ex-husband did to you, it was his choice to abuse you, it was not your choice to be abused by him
I know and I am not usually a big proponent of them, but it seems like you do have severe depressive symptoms, so I would like to lessen those symptoms with the medication for therapy to be more effective for you
Also the medication can be temporary until the therapy really begins to be more effective for you
It was not your choice at all, the self-blame is a negative thought you have. One that needs to be corrected
This feeling you have will not be permanent, you can beat this
You are too tired right now, but once you start to feel better you will regain that energy that you have lost
Take it one step at a time, you do not have to have all the answers. Tell these people that you need help too, build a support structure to help you through this, but you will have to open up and tell them about the pain you are going through
You cannot take responsibility for feeling this way, you did not choose this on yourself, this was because another man abused you, that was not something you asked for. Please if you feel the need to make a suicidal gesture, I urge you to go to the nearest hospital to get immediate and intensive treatment for you. I only say this because I do not want anything bad to happen to you and I want to see you get better.
Sorry I got disconnected there for a second, but I am back now. I know that you feel that suicide will answer all your problems, but it will not. There is a way to fix this and make things better for you.
I am sorry that you never got the chance to tell your story. Telling your side of the story ont he stand can be a cathartic experience that can help you heal. Have you told anyone your side of the story, your family or friends for instance?
No, this chat can go as long as you want it. Like I said no time limits here :)
No you were right to end the abuse, you should be proud of what you did and it took a lot of strength to do it too.
I am a forensic psychologist, but I also provide therapy and other services for non-forensic cases as well. Yes forensic accountants and other forensic professionals do provide services that are usually more expensive
No they are not petty at all, they are real for you and cause you severe distress. This is why I got into psychology, to help people.
And I want to help you get better as well, I still believe there is hope for you.
Thank you I appreciate the compliment. I know that you have been alone, but the first step here is to help yourself get better and then you share your life with someone else. That is why I believe that restoring your self-confidence can be the first step in therapy and asking about newer and more effective antidepressants will help as well
Well actually if you read some of my other responses, I do tell people when treatment looks grim for them or for their significant other, so I like to think I am honest as possible with you. I do believe that things will get better for you with this treatment approach
A good man will like you for who you are. I think by not resisting changing your thought pattern so much with CBT , working on that positive belief record, and the regular thought record that you therapist gave you and by changing your medications could help you a great deal
Well here is one positive quality that I know about you is that you have a big heart because you are willing to help so many other people in your life
No worries it happens
You do have a lot to offer someone, but the negative thoughts are making it hard for you to see that right now
Once this negative thought process gets replaced with a more positive one, then you will be able to see all the good qualities that you have
No I would never shuffle the question straight to 911 or anything like that, my goal is to help you the best that I can. You are not a worthless person, I want you to honestly work on that positive belief record and list out all of your positive qualities and the evidence to support them so that you can see them for yourself. Top of the list I already did for you, Big heart and a lot of compassion
It is possible, i can be the start of your support system to help you out and I would be happy to do so too
Therapy is a gradual approach and you will not see results immediately, but we all have to start somewhere. Remember the old adage, "Rome was not built in a day."
These worksheets associated with CBT help you go through the baby steps to the point where you feel you are cured
Of course I can follow up sessions with you, you can ask for me by putting "For DoctorZ only" before your question to make sure that you want to speak with me. I do have the ability to answer other questions, but there are no other questions and even if there were I would rather devote 100 percent of my attention on you. I know it feels like you have no direction right now, but you will get the direction you need. I would recommend opening up more in therapy and try not to be so resistant to that these techniques can really help
Also would you like more worksheets? I am not sure which worksheets you have already since you use CBT with your therapist
Haha, well I am supposed to not use personal identifiable information on the website, so I use this. And this is actually what many of my patients call me because they can never pronounce my last name
Really no worksheets at all? That is strange. I can give you another good worksheets and also a couple better books too
Well I am relatively young, I started school early, so I am 30 years old right now
I am sorry, the pills can cause that because it causes drowsiness.
You can come every other week if you like, the goal of CBT is trying to teach you techniques so that you are more self-reliant. Here I am going to teach you one other technique and recommend some better books for you
Haha, really it does. Well it was taken at a state hospital I worked at last year, so maybe that is why
So this link may help you, it contains a technique I use with patients called a thought record. It will help you keep track of any negative thoughts you have. You put the negative thought on paper, the emotion accompanying, the evidence to support it, and the evidence against it. Then I want you to come up with an alternative thought for the situation (more positive and plausible). This will help you change your way of thinking to be able to think more positive and not automatically go to a negative type of thinking.
And also these three books are really good.
That first worksheet I gave you is the central tenant that is used in CBT and should be used consistently. It is very effective.
Very funny :) No I was a psychologist there, now I work in private practice.
No problem. Also this chat will always be saved for you to come back to at anytime too
Haha, well I usually give all my clients my resume and they see the state hospital on there.
I will tell you though working the long hours there like I did, made the staff feel like they were patients :)
Thanks, XXXXX XXXXX to have a good sense of humor, it helps a lot in therapy too. I find it helps put my patients more at ease
I will not leave you, I will not abandon you. Even if I am not online I do get an email saying that you want to talk to me and I will be able to respond as fast as I can. I know it is tough, what you are going through, but you are not alone and I will be here to help you out. By the way Hi Cathy :)
Most occasions I am right by the computer and if I am not I will type on my phone with you or tell you that I will be able to speak with you at a later time, but I will always get back to you
I understand, a therapeutic relationship is about building trust. My goal is to help you and I do promise that I will not abandon you. My goal is to help you feel better and make you self-reliant again. To give you back that strength that you once had.
I am sorry that your family blames you, that is not fair to you. You can always switch to a more compassionate therapist to help you if you choose. I mean after 2.5 years if you do not feel better, it is your right to seek out another therapist.
You can work with me through this website if you wish. I can definitely help you through this website, but it will be a different experience for you because it is not the traditional face to face therapy that you are used to.
Oh no worries about your grammar. If you feel like you cannot see what you are typing, it may be your body telling you to get some rest.
I am glad that I am able to help you, but remember it was you that has this strength, I just was able to bring it to light
It is definitely okay with me, I am happy to help you in any way I can
You can reach me on here at anytime. I am on here 7 days a week and usually around 8AM to 12AM, so you can reach me nearly all the time.
Yes you are more than welcome to contact me tomorrow, just like I said put "For DoctorZ only" before your question and I will respond to it. I would be happy to talk more with you more tomorrow
I understand that you tired and you should get some sleep. I hope I provided you with excellent service tonight
Good night Cathy, looking forward to talking with you tomorrow.